Some very good idea, too bad I cant do most of them, I m only day 16or17 I dont feel like counting, I am copmpletely sober for those days, I mean 17 days ago, I did a couple of shots of H, about a gram. Smoke probably .5 gram of high grade meth. Havent really smoked pot, got into the real drugs. But fuck, I am getting to the point where all I got to do is hop on the trolley and head to TJ and I can get anything, stupid cheap also, might get shot at, but that is what happends when cartles fight for the best drug smuggling spot in the world.
I know I got to be strong, very strong, I should call someone, but I think I burned every bridge and not even directly, I just didnt hang out with my good friends when I became a junky. I can call someone and he will bring an issue (my thing all ready to go) and than I know everything will be ok.
Sorry to rant, its been fucked up lately. I was so close yesterday, but somehow I didnt get high. I got too many responsibilites. I got to get my wife a lawyer tomorrow so they can try her seperate from my loser ass. I'm the one with records, I know this sounds paranoid also, but I know its more than what they can show the public, they got one of those secret files on me too. Sounds paranoid right, but what they are doing to me just seems that way, and it has been going like this my whole fucking life.
Sorry to put this here, but I am mad, and insane
