Deleted member 290563
Greenlighter
I have become quite an angry, almost miserable person. And I have absolutely no good reason to be I have a great life. The shit that upsets me is so meaningless and small, it would not affect a normal person. little things.
Its not anger in the rage or expressive sense, its more like I worry and actually feel bad and upset inside my head. I know I was not always this way, its hard to pinpoint which drug caused it, but I think its due to drug abuse. I always only smoked pot. Then I became an opiate addict, which turns most people into hateful selfish pieces of shit from what i've seen, where I thought everyone was against me and treated me wrong, when it was me that was the piece of shit. After 3 or 4 years I stopped and went on sub maintenance, low dose, and rarely ever abused again. But then came a period of two years were i discovered mdma and used it pretty regulary, once a month, sometimes twice a month. also used dissociatives medium heavy during this time.
the mdma really really exaggerates the irritability, like my tuesday blues/week after...if someone says something bad about me ill just obsess about it over and over in my head feeling bad, if I lose something I'll think its the end of the world and i;ll never find it even though its just lost in my room.
does anyone else have this problem and feel it is due to drug use? which drugs cause it the most for you? do you have any advice on improving it? Is it the drugs fault or just me?....its hard to tell because they both happened at the same time, but i know i used to be happy and shit like this din't bother me. I wish I could just not care about this stuff but its like I need to make a conscious effort not to.
Its not anger in the rage or expressive sense, its more like I worry and actually feel bad and upset inside my head. I know I was not always this way, its hard to pinpoint which drug caused it, but I think its due to drug abuse. I always only smoked pot. Then I became an opiate addict, which turns most people into hateful selfish pieces of shit from what i've seen, where I thought everyone was against me and treated me wrong, when it was me that was the piece of shit. After 3 or 4 years I stopped and went on sub maintenance, low dose, and rarely ever abused again. But then came a period of two years were i discovered mdma and used it pretty regulary, once a month, sometimes twice a month. also used dissociatives medium heavy during this time.
the mdma really really exaggerates the irritability, like my tuesday blues/week after...if someone says something bad about me ill just obsess about it over and over in my head feeling bad, if I lose something I'll think its the end of the world and i;ll never find it even though its just lost in my room.
does anyone else have this problem and feel it is due to drug use? which drugs cause it the most for you? do you have any advice on improving it? Is it the drugs fault or just me?....its hard to tell because they both happened at the same time, but i know i used to be happy and shit like this din't bother me. I wish I could just not care about this stuff but its like I need to make a conscious effort not to.
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