Bojangles69
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,757
1) Cigarettes
2) Pot
3) Opiates
???
I have been meaning to make this thread since about 2 years ago tbo. This is something that bothers me more than anything I can almost think of even more then being an opiate addict. But when I was 23-24 I had crystal clear vision. Could read signs from 50 yds away, everything was clear and almost in HD vision it seemed. Could see peoples faces from 20-30 feet away and could always see the fine details and what not. Now it has got to the point where if I take my glasses off, and someone is standing only 2 feet in front of me their face will appear fairly blurry. Then anything behind them in the background I can barely see and is extremely fuzzy looking.
This really urks me on a daily basis anytime I take my glasses off and I simply can't imagine what going blind must be like because even this slight degeneration makes me feel like I'm getting old and should just jump off a building being as though I'm only 29. I mean wtf do I have to look forward to when I'm 39? Am I going to be 90% blind by then?
I did get checked out by a doctor and he said this:
Because I have hypertension and smoke, the capillaries in my eyes are being suffocated from the constriction, which robs oxygen from getting into my eyes, and so my vision is slowly getting worse over the years.
At that point about 2 years ago this was he put me on antihypertensive meds and said they would relieve pressure on my eyes, which *should improve my vision. Well thing is 2 years later I've been on these meds and nothing has gotten better. I assume partly cause the medicine barely works and also partly cause I still haven't quit smoking.
HOWEVER
Some other things I've noticed.
I never linked pot to this untill one night I didn't smoke it as I am a very ritualistic every night smoker now for likely 5 years or so. And the one night I didn't smoke, I woke up the next morning and noticed my vision seemed to actually have been better than the day before. Was enough to notice and be sure that it was happening. It seems because pot kind of "scatters" your vision when your high (bad word for it but it definitely does something to your vision when you're on it) like this can be related to the pot too.
And then opiates are honestly my last culprit. But I haven't really noticed any correlation between my opiate use and my vision. ALTHOUGH I do remember when I first started doing opiates sometimes my vision would slow down or get distorted but now with a tolerance no matter how much I do that obviously does not happen. Plus I'm on subs and all. I just don't feel the opiates are directly related although I feel like because I'm on opiates I smoke a lot more, and the smoking should really be the culprit here right?
My question I guess would be to people who have been doing these drugs long term and have you noticed any degeneration or worsening of your vision? Maybe we can narrow it down that way. I think if you're a smoker for me personally I did not notice this change till after like 10 years of smoking. So if you're 22, 23 or even older you may not notice anything yet. But there has to be smokers in here that are 40 something years old and know for a fact that smoking has fucked with their vision. I just honestly don't know whether its the pot or the nicotine that is to blame. I obviously suspect the smoking, but its hard to be sure. Smoking cigs doesn't immediately change your vision. Smoking pot does. And there is definitely some type of "blurry hangover" I notice like I said before. But still once would just think cigs are wayyyy worse for your eyes. And I also thought because pot is used to treat glaucoma that if anything it should be ok for your vision. But I'm not a doctor and have no real clue.
This has become my primary number 1 reason to wanna stop smoking because for so many years I never had any real negative effects from it. Yes I know my insides are blackening by the day and my skin is getting dry and rough looking which I hate, but the vision thing is a serious SERIOUS issue for me. I do NOT want to mess with my vision. Its sad that I seem to not care about my lungs but I do notice myself becoming increasingly concerned about my overall health the older I get, so maybe that will change soon hopefully.
I mean I have quit before for 2 years, then another time for only 3 weeks, and have also had many failed attempts but quitting cigs to me almost seems more traumatic to my identity than quitting something like opiates. Just cause its so readily accepted in the real world. I can smoke a cig on my ride home, or on my break, or after I eat, or when I wake up... and its almost like smoking has become who I am. I identify with the behavoirs. I very much look forward to them all the time and its sad. ANYTIME I am remotely bored in some way in the back of my head there is this awareness like "ohhh... I can go have a cig!! yay that will make me unbored!" It really invades every aspect of your existence. Opiates and being an opiate addict I don't have that persistent ritualized behavoir. I use once a day, it takes seconds to do, and theres far less psychosomatic bs associated with it imo. Once I do my opiates for the day I rarely think about doing opiates again that day. But fuck with cigs every minute its on my mind in some way.
How do I REALLY and I mean REALLY approach this issue head on?
I know about chantix, and wellbutrin, or nicorette but I've never had faith in any medicinal approaches to stopping cigs. I simply don't think it will be enough to offset whats more than a decade of memories and conditioning doing it.
I honestly think my only hope of success would be to traumatize myself in someway as stupid as it sounds. I've also considered just mentally owning up to it all being a psychological game, but that is one very difficult game to play as many smokers may know. Like I said I think the only real hope I have is taking my ass into situations that expose me to people suffering the consequences of smoking in real time. Cancer wards, maybe going to random funerals of people that die from lung cancer... maybe sitting around and watching the family ball their brains out. This is the type of stuff I notice that really changes my perception of smoking. Even watching youtube videos of what smoking does to your insides seems to help kill a lot of cravings.
What else can I do to combat the denial? Cause thats what it really is. Although I KNOW how harmful smoking is I also know how to ALWAYS be pushing that shit to the back of my head and minimize it. I need as many ways as I can find to push this shit to the forefront of my awareness so when I go into a store to buy a pack of cigs... there is NO chance that denial will win. So when I see my marboro menthols the first thing I see in my head is a 80 year old man coughing blood out as he struggles to breath his final breaths in this world. Even my own father suffered 98% blockage in his arteries from smoking and had to have triple bypass surgey and a stint put in his heart.
But FORTUNATELY for my dad he quit and never went back to smoking again after 40 years. My uncle did the same thing 2 years later. So I know I have the genes and that I can quit. But I also know I have the genes of an addict too. And I also know because my dad lived, in some weird way that wasn't enough to scare me to stop. I am so GLAD I still have him here today... but man I need to really nip this in the bud.
Anyone ever considered a traumatic type "exposure therapy" to quit cigs? I think I really need it. I can NOT go blind from this shit. I refuse to. I really thing the right type of trauma can help lift this addiction. Any thoughts on this?
edit: I did kinda start on one topic and end on another but feel free to respond to anything you think may be helpful... thanks guys.
edit#2: (I am a fucking terrible ranter sry can't help it lol) but does anyone also maybe think that wearing glasses weakens your eye sight? Cause I really feel like my vision didn't start getting exponetially worse till around the same time I started wearing glasses on a daily basis rather than just as needed for school and what not... and this has always been on my mind too like maybe just the act of wearing glasses makes your eyes weaker over time?)
2) Pot
3) Opiates
???
I have been meaning to make this thread since about 2 years ago tbo. This is something that bothers me more than anything I can almost think of even more then being an opiate addict. But when I was 23-24 I had crystal clear vision. Could read signs from 50 yds away, everything was clear and almost in HD vision it seemed. Could see peoples faces from 20-30 feet away and could always see the fine details and what not. Now it has got to the point where if I take my glasses off, and someone is standing only 2 feet in front of me their face will appear fairly blurry. Then anything behind them in the background I can barely see and is extremely fuzzy looking.
This really urks me on a daily basis anytime I take my glasses off and I simply can't imagine what going blind must be like because even this slight degeneration makes me feel like I'm getting old and should just jump off a building being as though I'm only 29. I mean wtf do I have to look forward to when I'm 39? Am I going to be 90% blind by then?
I did get checked out by a doctor and he said this:
Because I have hypertension and smoke, the capillaries in my eyes are being suffocated from the constriction, which robs oxygen from getting into my eyes, and so my vision is slowly getting worse over the years.
At that point about 2 years ago this was he put me on antihypertensive meds and said they would relieve pressure on my eyes, which *should improve my vision. Well thing is 2 years later I've been on these meds and nothing has gotten better. I assume partly cause the medicine barely works and also partly cause I still haven't quit smoking.
HOWEVER
Some other things I've noticed.
I never linked pot to this untill one night I didn't smoke it as I am a very ritualistic every night smoker now for likely 5 years or so. And the one night I didn't smoke, I woke up the next morning and noticed my vision seemed to actually have been better than the day before. Was enough to notice and be sure that it was happening. It seems because pot kind of "scatters" your vision when your high (bad word for it but it definitely does something to your vision when you're on it) like this can be related to the pot too.
And then opiates are honestly my last culprit. But I haven't really noticed any correlation between my opiate use and my vision. ALTHOUGH I do remember when I first started doing opiates sometimes my vision would slow down or get distorted but now with a tolerance no matter how much I do that obviously does not happen. Plus I'm on subs and all. I just don't feel the opiates are directly related although I feel like because I'm on opiates I smoke a lot more, and the smoking should really be the culprit here right?
My question I guess would be to people who have been doing these drugs long term and have you noticed any degeneration or worsening of your vision? Maybe we can narrow it down that way. I think if you're a smoker for me personally I did not notice this change till after like 10 years of smoking. So if you're 22, 23 or even older you may not notice anything yet. But there has to be smokers in here that are 40 something years old and know for a fact that smoking has fucked with their vision. I just honestly don't know whether its the pot or the nicotine that is to blame. I obviously suspect the smoking, but its hard to be sure. Smoking cigs doesn't immediately change your vision. Smoking pot does. And there is definitely some type of "blurry hangover" I notice like I said before. But still once would just think cigs are wayyyy worse for your eyes. And I also thought because pot is used to treat glaucoma that if anything it should be ok for your vision. But I'm not a doctor and have no real clue.
This has become my primary number 1 reason to wanna stop smoking because for so many years I never had any real negative effects from it. Yes I know my insides are blackening by the day and my skin is getting dry and rough looking which I hate, but the vision thing is a serious SERIOUS issue for me. I do NOT want to mess with my vision. Its sad that I seem to not care about my lungs but I do notice myself becoming increasingly concerned about my overall health the older I get, so maybe that will change soon hopefully.
I mean I have quit before for 2 years, then another time for only 3 weeks, and have also had many failed attempts but quitting cigs to me almost seems more traumatic to my identity than quitting something like opiates. Just cause its so readily accepted in the real world. I can smoke a cig on my ride home, or on my break, or after I eat, or when I wake up... and its almost like smoking has become who I am. I identify with the behavoirs. I very much look forward to them all the time and its sad. ANYTIME I am remotely bored in some way in the back of my head there is this awareness like "ohhh... I can go have a cig!! yay that will make me unbored!" It really invades every aspect of your existence. Opiates and being an opiate addict I don't have that persistent ritualized behavoir. I use once a day, it takes seconds to do, and theres far less psychosomatic bs associated with it imo. Once I do my opiates for the day I rarely think about doing opiates again that day. But fuck with cigs every minute its on my mind in some way.
How do I REALLY and I mean REALLY approach this issue head on?
I know about chantix, and wellbutrin, or nicorette but I've never had faith in any medicinal approaches to stopping cigs. I simply don't think it will be enough to offset whats more than a decade of memories and conditioning doing it.
I honestly think my only hope of success would be to traumatize myself in someway as stupid as it sounds. I've also considered just mentally owning up to it all being a psychological game, but that is one very difficult game to play as many smokers may know. Like I said I think the only real hope I have is taking my ass into situations that expose me to people suffering the consequences of smoking in real time. Cancer wards, maybe going to random funerals of people that die from lung cancer... maybe sitting around and watching the family ball their brains out. This is the type of stuff I notice that really changes my perception of smoking. Even watching youtube videos of what smoking does to your insides seems to help kill a lot of cravings.
What else can I do to combat the denial? Cause thats what it really is. Although I KNOW how harmful smoking is I also know how to ALWAYS be pushing that shit to the back of my head and minimize it. I need as many ways as I can find to push this shit to the forefront of my awareness so when I go into a store to buy a pack of cigs... there is NO chance that denial will win. So when I see my marboro menthols the first thing I see in my head is a 80 year old man coughing blood out as he struggles to breath his final breaths in this world. Even my own father suffered 98% blockage in his arteries from smoking and had to have triple bypass surgey and a stint put in his heart.
But FORTUNATELY for my dad he quit and never went back to smoking again after 40 years. My uncle did the same thing 2 years later. So I know I have the genes and that I can quit. But I also know I have the genes of an addict too. And I also know because my dad lived, in some weird way that wasn't enough to scare me to stop. I am so GLAD I still have him here today... but man I need to really nip this in the bud.
Anyone ever considered a traumatic type "exposure therapy" to quit cigs? I think I really need it. I can NOT go blind from this shit. I refuse to. I really thing the right type of trauma can help lift this addiction. Any thoughts on this?
edit: I did kinda start on one topic and end on another but feel free to respond to anything you think may be helpful... thanks guys.
edit#2: (I am a fucking terrible ranter sry can't help it lol) but does anyone also maybe think that wearing glasses weakens your eye sight? Cause I really feel like my vision didn't start getting exponetially worse till around the same time I started wearing glasses on a daily basis rather than just as needed for school and what not... and this has always been on my mind too like maybe just the act of wearing glasses makes your eyes weaker over time?)
