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what does this mean

just for the record i dont really wanna do it everyday, like i do, but i dont you kno i kno thats crazy haha. and i dont need it or any drug for that matter whoever said i dont need it now never did, i just really like it, and im willing to bet the magic never fades.
 
yougeekay said:
i love acid, all i wanna do everyday is take acid. for the rest of my life, its the perfect drug. what does this mean for me?
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About 2 - 3 months ago I said that, I wanted to go out in the mountains and going insane on acid didn't bother me.

You will undergo ego-death, trust me :\
 
good luck :)

though the product of ego death may be desirable and enjoyable, the pathway there can be incredibly painful. it is called 'death' after all.
 
think about what 'ego death' means.

it means letting go of all your preconceived notions. losing the unique things that make 'you' you. while at the same time understanding what it is like to be another human being. you stop thinking about tomorrow and start thinking about right now. about the person sharing right now right next to you. is he/she in the same "right now" ? how does your emotion affect your place in time and space?

knowing exactly how bad it feels to be on the receiving end of hurt and suffering. knowing how bad it feels to cause hurt and suffering to others. knowing that you have unintentionally caused hurt and suffering to others. knowing that others have unintentionally caused hurt and suffering to you.

realizing that hurt and suffering can be avoided by simply showing love. realizing that love does not exist without hurt and suffering. realizing that hate and love are the two unstoppable forces that collided and created the big bang. realizing that there is no such thing as heaven or hell, only here and now. heaven and hell exist in every moment, it is YOU who chooses which one you are in.

understanding that we are all the exact same and have to fight the exact same demons inside our hearts. understanding that even though we are the same, we are all alone because the EGO is a wall we have created to keep our true self protected from the hurt and suffering that goes on EVERY DAY to MILLIONS OF HUMANS. when we destroy the ego, we see ourselves for what we truly are. we see our fellow man for what he truly is. we see the cyclical nature of time and human evolution and wonder how many times we must fall back into war and chaos before everyone WAKES UP.

realizing that it should be the goal of every spiritually awoken human being to share love and compassion. understanding that is far more important to LISTEN if you wish to make yourself HEARD. you begin to hear all the subtle word and mind games that people play to twist each others emotions into getting their own way. too many people see their fellow man as a competitor. if he succeeds, then i must fail. he must fail if i am to succeed. why can't we both succeed together?

many hands make light work, and songs are best sung in a circle.

trust me, it's VERY painful to understand the WHOLE of the human condition, but once you get there you never want to return to the zombie you were before.
 
Ego death isn't really that to me at all.

Its just bare experience. You cease to be a human being experiencing, and instead become the experience itself.
 
I think EGO death is subjective.

I "think" i experienced EGO death one time on 4 grams of mushrooms and 2 hits of AMT.

Whatever the DOx of 5MEO(or AMT) it was, I was having a good time on it. Then the 4 grams of "lab" mushrooms kicked my fucking ass. Most intense trip ever. I took the mushies about 5 hours after dosing AMT(or whatever this mystery RC was at the time) I believe.

The come up was very strong, I felt poisoned, felt worthless, I felt very weak and knew in the back of my mind it was the comeup of the trip. I was on AMT too so it kinda made the comeup even more intense. Neuro-overload coming in!

I was in the dark in my room, and I know I experienced EGO death! I forgot I even took mushrooms, I was having bizzare hallucinations, visuals....is not even the right word. This wasn't any LSD trip I've had, I was completely at a loss of control and even though I finally put myself at the mercy of "It" as I put it. I was sitll going through hell, the darkness is part of EGO life.

Life and Death.

You can't have one without the other, EGO death isn't fun and games people!

You'll know when you've experienced it for sure, until then it's kinda like well you've had good trips but EGO death isn't a playhouse. It's a transcendential state that can literally feel like death and when it happens you won't be thinking "It's just EGO loss!
you'll be too busy dying, there is NO reassurance and soon there is no you!



I don't think you've experienced EGO death until you've experienced a bit of true fear, you'll know it. Even on high dose of LSD. Typically LSD these days isn't as strong as the 60's, to really you've not experiencing completel EGO death comparable to strong 4 grams or 5 grams of decent mushrooms(lab). With natural mushrooms I find, especially with cow you need to eat more to eat the EGO death but not too much or you won't be able to "bring anything bacK" as Terrence Mckenna puts it.

Okay I'm high as a kite on cannabis.
 
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^good point. to me, ego death involves all the typical psychological phases of grief: denial anger bargaining depression acceptance. except they come at you in random order and keep repeating over and over and over until you have no idea what makes them different from each other, and then you leave your world behind and fly among the stars :)

roger: what would you call the experience that killo and i are talking about?
 
greenmeanies said:
roger: what would you call the experience that killo and i are talking about?
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Ego life. :)

I think the experience you described is just a particular facet of the ego, its reaction to impending annihilation.

I think the issue here is mostly just semantics-- most people say they are "afraid of death", yet they really mean they're afraid of the small portion of life directly preceeding death. So in reality they're actually afraid of life.

A similar concept applies here. I think what you experienced is not "ego death" but instead the process the ego undergoes while dying. You could call it something like "severe ego diminishment"-- but again, all semantical.

The point I'm trying to make is, that once the ego actually "dies" there isn't a conceptualizing machine left in there anymore to realize anything. There aren't any thoughts, conceptualizations, realizations, revelations, or any of that-- its just completely bare, unprocessed sensory input. For a short time, you become an empty vessel.

That's what I consider ego death. Its not easy to achieve, extremely hard to recall, and the road there is absolutely terrifying. I think most people, when they say they've experienced ego death, have really only experienced some of the ego-dying process.

Again, though-- all semantics. I don't find it very useful to try to label these experienes, every person's is unique and they don't really fit into arbitrarily defined categories.
 
ok good point. the painful journey is definitely the part i remember most vividly from my intense mushroom trips-- it is followed by a void and then i suddenly recall opening my eyes and being MUCH more sober than i was before...

i can definitely understand the 'fear of life'... when faced with death you see you had so many plans that will never be realized, which is why these intense psychedelic experiences can catalyze renewed vigor for life and understanding of the direction you want to go in.

ah well, we've gone off topic by now.
 
Haha it doesn't even matter what EGO death is, who knows if EGO is even a good word to use for something like that.

But what's important is making sure you take enough mushrooms to "go all the way". Subjective to the user, but surely more mushrooms is a way to get to the point quicker. And also, less distractions.

5 grams of lab mushrooms.

8 grams of field cow mushrooms(texas cube strain)
 
^That's a lot mushrooms, man. You can flip out on big mushie doses like that-- I've seen it happen. Probably safer/more fun to take ~3 grams of shrooms and smoke DMT at the peak. :D ;)
 
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