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What does rock bottom look like for you guys ?

MuertaMan said:
I still don't get how saying an addict is an addict, it doesn't matter if you shoot up snort smoke we are all the same, we aren't on a tiers where some of us are scummier than others because of the way we choose to ingest our drugs.
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Agree 100% with this. The route of administration doesn't make someone a "better" or "worse" drug user. It's just a different ROA and there shouldn't be stigma attached to some more than others.
 
Keep it up people. This is The Dark Side and your insulting comments don't fly here. You have issues with a comment.............report it.

Bickering back and forth and insulting other members is not tolerated in the recovery forums.

Have an issue with someone? Message them and try and work it out.

Don't like a comment. Scroll on by or go read another thread.
 
Nurse Ratched said:
Keep it up people. This is The Dark Side and your insulting comments don't fly here. You have issues with a comment.............report it.

Bickering back and forth and insulting other members is not tolerated in the recovery forums.

Have an issue with someone? Message them and try and work it out.

Don't like a comment. Scroll on by or go read another thread.
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You so cute when you’re mad.

Feisty…rawrrrr

Wanna make out!??

Jkjk

Ok I’ll be good😇😇

You know I love ya! And I am sorry cause I did go to far
 
Kellsee said:
You so cute when you’re mad.

Feisty…rawrrrr

Wanna make out!??

Jkjk

Ok I’ll be good😇😇

You know I love ya! And I am sorry cause I did go to far
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I wish everyone was as lovable as you are when I get my mod stick out. This place would be so cool and fantastic if I got posts like this one more often. Thanks for understanding and being silly about it !! <3
 
Kellsee said:
You so cute when you’re mad.

Feisty…rawrrrr

Wanna make out!??

Jkjk

Ok I’ll be good😇😇

You know I love ya! And I am sorry cause I did go to far
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Reporting your comment for an obscene amount of adorableness. I don't understand how that so called "moderator" can tolerate it. This site is no place for levity and tolerance. Shame on both of you.
 
Ds said:
Rock bottom is coming to the realization that your life is pretty fucking unmanageable with or without the usage of drugs and or alcohol. It can be anything you mentioned @xxxredpilledxxx . Everyone's bottom is different, though the one thing all of our bottoms have in common is how we respond to the unmanageability. Do we go on to the bitter ends or do we realize that our life at the present time is fucked, and need help getting off the bottom?
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When i was off opiates for like a year or 2 after getting out of the psych ward i learned drugs are really the least of my problems. I was kinda fucked when i was off opiates doing way to much coke
 
Nurse Ratched said:
I wish everyone was as lovable as you are when I get my mod stick out. This place would be so cool and fantastic if I got posts like this one more often. Thanks for understanding and being silly about it !! <3
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Well ya can’t pull out your stick and put me in my place without it melting my butter. Turns me on.

I am a true sub so I do like to be owned lol


Nah but seriously don’t ever hold back if I’m out of line. It happens. These topics require some maturity. I know ya well enough by now that even if you jumped my shit I’d just consider that I must have needed it.


Only fake friends kiss ass all the time. I want the genuine truth 💕
 
To be completely alone with not a single person in this world who would care the slightest about me, nobody to talk to who isn't asking for payment or otherwise abuses you, and without a place to sleep in, with no more belongings than fit into a bag. Tried to get help from the psychiatry but all they did was shit and ended up in new connects to drug users (of which most quit contact soon enough, I'd categorize them into the abusive group) and a $40,000+ debt to health insurance (why is a long story with which I won't bother you). They even kicked me oiut to street after they decided treatment was over and they knew I hadn't found a place to stay yet.

But I acknowledge that maybe this wasn't real rock bottom because, before the debt, I still had money and didn't have to sleep in parks besides a couple of exceptions. Selling my kidney for drugs would probably be worse.

I even wish to be able to go back to the beginning of this period, to avoid psychiatry and save money.
 
It's a sliding scale for most ppl. I hit rock bottom three separate times in my life. But that last time I made sure to change.

I've never been homeless , never stolen from people, I've lied plenty though. Always had a job. Always used sparingly.

The rock bottom I felt was just wasting my life away addicted to drugs. That's it , I hate that feeling the " I really need a line, I really need a drink, I really need to feel good I need that Percocet I need that Xanax I got to have it man I got to have it got to have that cigarette man. I just hate that addiction feeling like it takes over your whole being I'm not hungry until I get a hit. I'm not sleepy until I get a hit I can't function until I get a hit.

And for the better part of 10 years and then two more years in recovery that's how I lived my life I didn't think about my future I didn't try to better myself All I worried about was procuring using and selling drugs. What a complete waste
 
crazyhairman said:
It's a sliding scale for most ppl. I hit rock bottom three separate times in my life. But that last time I made sure to change.

I've never been homeless , never stolen from people, I've lied plenty though. Always had a job. Always used sparingly.

The rock bottom I felt was just wasting my life away addicted to drugs. That's it , I hate that feeling the " I really need a line, I really need a drink, I really need to feel good I need that Percocet I need that Xanax I got to have it man I got to have it got to have that cigarette man. I just hate that addiction feeling like it takes over your whole being I'm not hungry until I get a hit. I'm not sleepy until I get a hit I can't function until I get a hit.

And for the better part of 10 years and then two more years in recovery that's how I lived my life I didn't think about my future I didn't try to better myself All I worried about was procuring using and selling drugs. What a complete waste
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I can relate too this quite a bit, I’m also a poly addict to drugs or any form of stress relief espicially downers, currently 44 days sober still always have that demon in my head tryna convince me “1 hit won’t hurt” it’s like drugs are all I think about and everything else is worthless sometimes cause I just wana escape my anhedonia but I’m sure with time I’ll be satisfied with a sober life it just takes a long time too recover from substance abuse.
 
Merek said:
I can relate too this quite a bit, I’m also a poly addict to drugs or any form of stress relief espicially downers, currently 44 days sober still always have that demon in my head tryna convince me “1 hit won’t hurt” it’s like drugs are all I think about and everything else is worthless sometimes cause I just wana escape my anhedonia but I’m sure with time I’ll be satisfied with a sober life it just takes a long time too recover from substance abuse.
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I actually managed to go back to just using every now and then to get high. Right now im not addicted to clonaz, zopiclone or morphine. I don't miss being a addict though. I would much rather just use now and again
 
paranoid android said:
I actually managed to go back to just using every now and then to get high. Right now im not addicted to clonaz, zopiclone or morphine. I don't miss being a addict though. I would much rather just use now and again
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That’s what I’m doing right now, all I do is use psychedlics every now and then to get high, I don’t use anything that’s addictive except for lighter drugs like coffee and every now and then I’ll drink alcohol which although it’s in the same category as other hard drugs imo despite its social acceptance ive never had a problem with it, but even when I’m on those drugs I still crave something more like a Percocet, Fentanyl or Xanax I’ve been sober off all that for 8-9 months but still used weed to escape from reality for a while now I’m 44 days sober off that.
 
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I don't really agree with the concept of "rock bottom" -- or at least in how I interpret it.

I always thought "rock bottom" meant that one has sunk as low as one can get, like to the point where one's addiction is utterly intolerable anymore.

Well, in my case I've hit that point several times. I'd think It can't possibly get any worse than this and I might seek recovery OR I'd adjust to the new low and continue in my addiction until hitting a different kind of "rock bottom."

Some of my bottoms, in no particular order:

  • Waking up in an alley behind a Dumpster and having no idea what city I'm in.
  • Drinking hand sanitizer.
  • Waking up on a ventilator in an ICU, having been comatose for 5 days.
  • Realizing that I've repeatedly lied to every person I know, including myself.
  • Stealing from my mom.
  • Waking up in jail from my 4th DUI.
  • Stealing and injecting Fatal Plus (pentobarbital, a euthanasia drug) from the animal shelter where I worked.
  • Injecting tequila.
  • Not committing suicide ONLY because I was afraid I'd botch the job.
Some of these things I've done more than once.

My last relapse was far from my worst, but I checked into detox/rehab because I had simply had enough. Is that "rock bottom"?
 
jasperkent said:
I don't really agree with the concept of "rock bottom" -- or at least in how I interpret it.

I always thought "rock bottom" meant that one has sunk as low as one can get, like to the point where one's addiction is utterly intolerable anymore.

Well, in my case I've hit that point several times. I'd think It can't possibly get any worse than this and I might seek recovery OR I'd adjust to the new low and continue in my addiction until hitting a different kind of "rock bottom."
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I completely agree. I remember throughout my 20s when I was most active in AA circles, every time I'd relapse an old timer or my mentors would always say, "Well, you just haven't hit rock bottom yet. When you do, you'll quit."

The first few times I welcomed this as sage advice, but eventually it started pissing me off.

I'd feel like rock bottom, in unbearable pain, desperate to get sober and fix my life... and for someone to say "nope, that's not rock bottom" felt stupid to me.

Perhaps they are right... but how do they really know what someone else's rock bottom is?

Anyways, a few of my rock bottoms were:

- accidentally poisoning myself near death while blacked out, then being arrested for burglary a few hours later
- getting evicted from my apartment, gf dumped me, and fired from my job, all while in psychosis
- living in my tiny car with my cat
- stealing from my mom, pawning my parent's wedding rings and other family heirlooms
- suicide attempts
 
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^ Agreed on there being no rock bottom. There is also never getting to the bottom of some situations. I guess Death would be a rock bottom. Watching people use tranq dope while body parts are falling off shows me it has to be death that is rock bottom.

I honestly so dislike the 90's recovery lingo. I was in a rehab in 1990. The notion was once you identify this deep dark pain and face it you won't feel like using. Well I was the type that faced the deep dark pain and used anyway. You know why? Pure logic. Because it feels good. Even the monkeys that pull that cocaine lever instead of the food go for what feels better. Doubtful they have deep dark pain.

Saying that I agree we can hide from feelings and using helps with that. There is some wisdom to the old recovery logic. But mostly just rhetoric. I like logic better to discribe. And drugs just feel good. Period.
 
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