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What do your cravings feel like?

[MENTION=289844]manboychef[/MENTION], am I right that you're completely done with opiates (no subs etc)? I just ask because of the way you describe how your cravings pass. Before I got on subs, once a real craving got on me, it just would *not* die until I caved (days, sometimes a week of white-knuckling). Since I got on subs, that's changed. I do still get cravings, but now they pass relatively soon after coming on.

Again, I was asking about your status b/c I know you've been clean a long time and I'm curious if the ability to wait out cravings is something that came to you over time? Or if it is more a function of suboxone? Or maybe something else all together?

Anyway, again: that was awesome that you resisted. Those really florid, multi-sensory fantasies cut through me like a hot knife in butter.
 
I am not on maintenance. I was on subutex for two years before. In the beginning I had cravings that would not go away, and dreams that were so real. I remember I would get to the point of planning out how to get money, how to go cop, how to use, and lastly (arguably the worst one) how to get away with it. I found blowing myself in and talking to someone really helped me beat these cravings. I cannot stress enough getting something to do that takes a lot of your thought and energy as being important. It actually works for other things. My ex took my son in the middle of the night. She lied about me to the police, in court, to my family...and it caused me a lot of problems. It led me to a horrible relapse, suicidal ideations...etc. Whenever those thoughts about what happened would pop into my head I would feel so defeated. I still don't get to talk to him when I want to, and I haven't seen him in over a year. Thoughts of revenge, anger, hopelessness would mire me down and I would be stuck obsessing about the problem. I now just go to my garden because it gives me an enormous sense of peace, especially when I am cutting blooms to give to family members, or my girlfriend.

I cannot say I don't have extremely intense cravings from time to time. Most of the time I can just think about consequences, and I don't end up getting stuck in that thought loop that only using will solve. Other times it is so real and I have to work hard to take my mind off them.

It gets easier. I wrote down a list of pros/cons to using in my journal. You will find that the cons far outweigh the pros, and generally the pros are hollow and selfish.

good luck [MENTION=334988]simco[/MENTION], you are always welcome to pm me.
 
DXM and other NDMAr antagonist therapy really helped 100% eliminate my cravings while on/getting off methadone and previously when I was on buprenorphine. It is not exactly traditional treatment, but for folks with treatment resistant depression and anxiety like myself it has been a life saver. That, and lots of group therapy, one-on-one therapy, school, exercise, work psychiatric medication (Wellbutrin) and a support network of friends and family saved my life, litterally, more time than I like to remember. Everyone is differentvand in a different situation, but this is me, and I do love being me (finally!).
 
my plan for dealing with intense cravings is to take a good trip (literally, i love traveling), and if that's not possible, then in the other sense. psychedelics have always made me want to use less, and sometimes made realize I needed to stop for a while to get stuff done in life. Now that i'm entering sobriety for good (from opiates, already quit alcohol a year ago), i would still consider myself clean even with the occasional shroom or cactus trip. I don't touch weed anymore (since 6 years) as that makes me anxious and forgetful.

so yeah it's my opinion that a nice, reflective and KIND trip can do wonders to help you digest some issues in life, or see it in a new light. of course i don't know what your triggers are, i hope this isn't counterproductive. but it works for me.
 
Well obviously you and I are on the same page ;)

I cannot wait to go to San Diego for Memorial day weekend, then visit herby in June, and hopefully go camping with CH and some guys in late June or July.

I also enjoy the occasional DXM adventure, but I wish I could get my hands on some good mushrooms, LSD or MDMA. I would really benefit from plugging some good MDMA right about now, but that is all I will say on that subject on a public forum.
 
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Cactus is avail legally online, did you know? It also grows as a landscaping plant all over the south west, it's good stuff when properly separated from the yucky slime. And the famous fungi grows itself pretty much. Man it's time that stuff was legalized ..

On another note have you ever heard of nutmeg? Did it a few times after moving and running out of weed many many years ago. The Mexican store had the freshest, my eyes were blood red for two days after a trip from two of them. Felt like high dose of 7AMT and MDMA and being stoned for DAYS. But i heard it's toxic, so never did it again. It's funny, i used to read donald duck comics as a kid and there's one where dagobert duck losses his nutmeg supply then fights to get it back! Weird comic as hell when looking back as adult .. Maybe good nutmeg is addictive? Better not risk it
 
I love San Perdo, it is easy to find IRL in the states, although processing it for consumption can be a bit oc a PITA. Yuck! I never would want to try nutmeg, although if I was in federal prison and desperate I might sing a different tune.
 
toothpaste that's a wise choice, not trying nmeg. I just had to do everything botanical, idiot me. Compared to the datura i got talked into (tiny dose thankfully), nutmeg is a stay in a 5 star hotel. Though while we're on the subject, ayahuasca is always nice. But i wouldn't be ready yet so early in recovery, though i did have a productive day yesterday.

They offer 'huasca trips all over the amazon basin and the andes, did you know? That would Be a great trip, sail down there, visit three volcanoes etc. Just dreaming ..
 
I <3 oral DMT+MAOI %)

It would be awesome to do it under the supervision of a real shaman though. I have only done it with friends back when I was an undergaduate in college. It has been a while, I would love to experience it again soon ;)
 
You and me both;) that shaman thing sounds so cool! Spiritual even. Dmt is awesome, i remember clear as anything there was this pitch black pond under an endless sky, with this emerald water lily growing up out of infinity from below, delineating the two. Then a flower opened ..

I never did lsd btw, too cautious about flash backs. Did it give you any?
 
Nope, that only happens if you have a really traumatic trip AND take waaaaaaay too much cyd. That being said, everyone is different, and if you have a serious psychiatric condition or your family has s history of them it is best advised to either avoid all psycadellics or at the very least start with a very small dose, much smaller than someone would normally start with to test it our, in order to see how your body reacts.
 
That's wise, and I started slowly. But psychedelics do seem to agree with me, and since i'm a naturally happy person (though I don't feel so now ..) i hardly ever had bad trips. not never, but much less than others. perhaps it was also because I don't like to go THAT deep, except with the dmt. and i stay away from what's bad for me (salvia is one such .. everytime i had it, i felt like some sort of stinky swamp monster. that stuff gives w e i r d visuals too).

but now that i'm in the early 30s and responsible and such, there are way less chances to take a trip. moved away from friends and my new circle of my age are mostly straight as arrows (mormons) or spoiled, f***ed up trust fund kids. glad i'm not them (the trusties .. mormons are really nice).

got 4 hrs of sleep this night btw. one of my kids had set an alarm on a tablet for 5:21am. grrrr!! so now i'm at something like 11 hours in 4 days. body feels like it's 90, my mind like a hung-over teens on too much caffeine. if i had know i wouldn't have ever done this to myself ..
 
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