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What do you think ? Will I get better ?

I

ionzi

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 28, 2014
Messages
6
I went to the Netherlands for the first time. I had experimented a lot with drugs before. No hallucinogenics but weed most days and XTC on rare occasions. No problems.


I got very exited and smoked in the coffeeshop. I smoked a pre rolled hash joint and pre rolled skunk joint. Both after each other, without an hour apart! Obviously this is quite a lot for me.


I started to get more and more paranoid to the point I thought I was in a horror movie. I started freaking out thinking I was on a set of a horror film. I left the Netherlands and got on a train at the airport. I thought this train was going to take me to a concentration camp - I had horrible visions and was full on hallucinating (no sleep for around 24hours as I was terrified). During this whole time I thought I was in an experiment.


I got sectioned and stayed at hospital for 2 nights. I then still had hallucinations of castles and towers in fields on my journey home. I would not eat anything and did not take any meds. A lot of my trip was concerned with the war and imagery like towers and castles which I find weird. Even now, around 5 months after I still get flashbacks and scary thoughts but hopefully these will pass with time as it's all in my mind!

After this experience, I smoked very weak cannabis ONCE (had around 4 puffs) and got thoughts telling me to commit suicide. I don't know what happened. I am feeling that I shouldn't try and understand as I want to move on with my life.......Part of me thinks that there were more in those joints than just cannabis but I have to let this go....

ALSO this is another post I would like some advice on......;


i suffered severe drug induced psychosis a few months ago. symptoms weren't as severe but still some delusions are hanging around but i can cope and shrug them off.
i am quite clear this is psychosis. but before this and sometimes now i hear people saying derogatory things towards me under their breath. when i smoked cannbis (only once since the event, NOT again) it was as if i could go into other peoples minds and know what they are thinking about others (always horrible things) but does anyone else get this?
its really horrible. dont know if it is classed as 'hearing voices' i am a bit scared to tell people s then i think they will play with my mind and do it more often....


Any info appreciated...thanks :)
 
I feel I should add the biggest challenge for me is the fear associated with the fact this could happen again. I really want to travel solo and I am scared if my reality changes again like that. I hope this will get better with time.
 
ionzi said:
I feel I should add the biggest challenge for me is the fear associated with the fact this could happen again. I really want to travel solo and I am scared if my reality changes again like that. I hope this will get better with time.
Click to expand...

Go see a shrink and lay off drugs for a long time.
 
ionzi said:
I feel I should add the biggest challenge for me is the fear associated with the fact this could happen again. I really want to travel solo and I am scared if my reality changes again like that. I hope this will get better with time.
Click to expand...

Hey ionzi and welcome to BL:)

That seems like quite the experience and im sorry you had to go through it.

If you want please share your approximate age.

Do you have and family history of schizophrenia? The experience you had really does not sound like drug induced psychosis. Most drug induced psychoses goes away fairly quickly after the drug has left the system. It is also most associated with stimulants like coke meth X. Not to say that it does not happen with cannabis, but the level, nature, and length of your experience makes it sound like the cannabis may have triggered an underlying condition.

As other people have stated I would certainly not smoke grass ever again. I would also seriously consider leaving all the drugs alone.

I would certainly see a good mental health physician.
 
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ionzi said:
I feel I should add the biggest challenge for me is the fear associated with the fact this could happen again. I really want to travel solo and I am scared if my reality changes again like that. I hope this will get better with time.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you have gone through all of these episodes. I once had a very bad trip and ended up in hospital but clearly you are undergoing something more profound and medical assistance may be needed the soonest IMO.

Now if you need to travel again, speak to your agent or seek for a very comprehensive medical travel health plan. They will guide you and you would probably feel safer. Try not to overthink too much about what you've been through, if that's possible.

Any close relatives you could count with?

Good luck.
 
Hi, ionzi. I'm really sorry you had this experience; it sounds incredibly traumatic. Neversickanymore offered very, very good info and ideas for next steps. I'm a psychologist, and though my primary emphases don't include D&A issues, I have had experience with psychosis and psychosis-like episodes. What's the mental health system like where you work? Do you have access to a good psychiatrist? I would recommend talking to those people (therapist and psychiatrist) first, versus a general physician, b/c in many cases their psychiatric rotation is the one they spend the least focus on.

And yes--stay away from any and all drugs! (Yeah, I know...so much easier to say than do.)

Sending good thoughts.
 
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I wish you all the best and by the sounds of it you definitely stand a chance of losing the remaining negative effects. I hope this goes without saying, but NEVER SMOKE CANNABIS AGAIN! It just doesn't mix with some people at all, that's life unfortunately.
 
I too had a bad trip smoking weed in cafes in amsterdam...that shit is strong. I was hearing voices, thinking ppl were out to get me, turned on my mates, just plain lost my mind. That experience fucked me up for a long time. I just dont agree with weed. Hash for some reason doesnt have quite as bad an effect on me, but I only use it once in a blue moon.

You'll be ok dude, just dont self medicate and turn to opiates like i did. It only makes things worse in the long run.
 
I do not take any drugs anymore! I think I'm getting better then experience a flashback from the event. For example, if I see castles or industrial buildings I associate with the trip. I think the flashbacks/associations are what I'm struggling with s I have no idea what on Earth happened. Any tips on getting over flashbacks?

I am recieving CBT but only around 45 mins every other week. THey want to put me on abilify but I am very hesitant about this. I want to be succesful and not dependent on drugs, I am scared if I take abilify I will become dependent and not lead an independent and fulfilling life. No one has really talked to me in depth about my experience and my fears/thoughts which I think is totally bizzare. They want to put me on meds straight away. I function fine mostly but during hormonal changes notice some psychosis but generally am a 'normal' human being. It's just these underlying aspects. I can honestly hear what people mutter/feels like I can read their minds sometimes though - but I think this is just due to the fact I'm hyper-vigilant. It saddens me that people always say negative things under their breath though.

Peace. Thank you all for responding!
 
Smoking weed certainly exacerbates psychological issues, infamous for anxiety and paranoia in particular. You may just have a personality not compatible with cannabis, or this may be the expression of something deep down that weed has made you aware of.

Either way it seems obvious that you should avoid hallucinogens and other anxiety producing drugs (such as stimulants), and in my opinion you should stay sober all together. Seeing somebody would not be a bad idea either, if this issue persists especially. Best of luck
 
ionzi said:
I do not take any drugs anymore! I think I'm getting better then experience a flashback from the event. For example, if I see castles or industrial buildings I associate with the trip. I think the flashbacks/associations are what I'm struggling with s I have no idea what on Earth happened. Any tips on getting over flashbacks?
Click to expand...

I'm no psychiatrist but if I was in your situation I would be trying to identify what sort of things were triggering the flashbacks and then spending some time every day trying to familiarise myself with them by looking at pictures of them maybe even reading about them or something. Hopefully if I was being familiar and proactively interacting with the things that were triggering the flashbacks within a relaxed and safe feeling environment then I would become conditioned to respond in the same relaxed manner when I came across them in real life.
 
It's not uncommon for weed to psyche you out. I had a terrible experience with it once, quite similar to yours, although that was synthetic weed. I thought I was going to die, I was shaking, people's faces looked so scary to me, I felt like I was on my own and everybody was against me, I just wanted to run away. From regular weed I also get similar effects sometimes in a sense that it would induce negative thoughts but never as severe. For me it highly depends on my current situation - if I am not feeling well or if the environment isn't good, chances are I would get an unenjoyable high. As already mentioned, it might not be a bad idea to talk to a specialist as that will help you find the root of the problem. Comes without saying, keep off of weed for a while, all drugs as a matter of fact as it sounds like your psyche is quite vulnerable at the moment and playing around with it isn't a good idea. I would try some meditation if I were you. Just take your time to completely relax and be alone with your thoughts, concentrate on your current situation and figure out what it is in your life that may be causing such issues. Something I just now remember - those unpleasant highs were more common for me before when I still hadn't taken on any treatment for my anxiety and depression. After I looked into the problem and started treating my mental problems, weed became more enjoyable for me and also became a method to help with my anxiety, again highly depending on the environment I was in however.
 
well the first time I had a joint it was super skunk joint and I got so paranoid I thought I would die. So it might be the skunk as skunk is especially know for its very potent and psychosis inducing effects ( a while ago they were trying to ban it but I'm not so sure anymore).
 
I know someone who developed drug induced psychosis from weed. He was hospitalised and medicated for it, but ended up later discontinuing the medication. Since then, a bit of (not that sensible) trial and error has established that he's pretty much fine now as long as he stays away from the weed.

Your experience sounds quite a bit like his, give or take a few details. I'd say see a psychiatrist about potential medication (short or long term - the details are up to you and your shrink) and stay sober at least until this is all sorted out and you're stable again.
 
OMG! The same thing happened to me. I didnt hallucinate but i had a very bad panic attack when i was high. Now if i smoke i get suicidal thoughts and when im with people i always think they are all talking shit about me and laughing at me. I simply stay away from the weed but im glad im not the only one this is happening to. I thought i was just a psycho.
 
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