What do you do when you're stuck in the middle?

[monchi]

I'll use proper punctuation this time as it's my first thread.
When I came to BL I was a mess, drinking to oblivion 5 nights a week and always making excuses. Thanks to the abstinence threads (octsober was the first), I've been able to take some really substantial breaks from drinking the same way I did before.

Since joining this site and this forum in particular (6months,) I've had more sober time than I have in years. I'm still up and down, and I guess this is my problem.

I keep getting stuck in that trap of: "Well, Im not as bad as before, but on the other hand, Im not where I want to be."

I have grown. But I have more to go, and as the harsh consequences get under control, I seem to be losing motivation. Ie: Im not always making a fool of myself, but Im not proud of myself either.

Does anyone know what I mean? How do you get over this complacent hump??

 

[unsettled]

I know exactly what you mean, I'm in a similar place to you in that I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be but know I could be better.

I think the key is to set goals, have things to do that have nothing to do with drinking or drugs. I personally made my first ever appointment with a psychiatrist the other day (was just going to my GP) cuz I felt it was time to get checked out by a mental health professional and hear their point of view. I don't even want to be completely sober, just want to make sure I'm moving forward in my life and not self sabotaging myself every step of the way. My two cents for what it's worth.

 

[monchi]

unsettled: you're two cents are worth a lot to me, so thank you for your response. ive done the whole goal setting thing, im actually going back to my therapist next monday so on one hand, i totally get that. on the other, i feel like ive set so many freakin goals and not followed through that its become a bit of a joke.

there have been a few goal setting thread started by some amazing people here and i feel like i haven't been able to follow through and hence let people down. however i am hanging on to your idea of setting goals that have nothing to do with any particular doc. there's some wisdom there, and i will follow that, so thank you.