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What do I do? Jobless. friendless, helpless, hopeless....

junctionalfunkie

junctionalfunkie

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 8, 2006
Messages
2,710
Location
Lying in the gutter, but looking at the stars.
I have not been gainfully employed in almost 18 months.

I was living in Austin, TX when I lost my last job (mainly their fault, sorta mine) in November 2008. I tried and tried to find a job but to no avail; it was the start of the recession, and there seems no end in sight.

My dad basically supported me for the following year, during which I still was unable to find a job. Eventually, he said: "Look, this is getting ridiculous. There are obviously no jobs in Austin to be had. Come up here (Minneapolis) and live with me; even if you can't find a job right away, at least you have a roof over your head."

So, it only made sense to do so, and what choice did I have, anyway?

So, I moved to Minneapolis December 28. For over 2 months, it was impossible to ever even go outside due to daytime temperatures of 20 degrees below\zero (F). Very few postings for jobs.

I was going insane when the spring broke, on the verge of Cabin Fever. My father was always a very difficult person to live with, but now that he is old and senile he is next to impossible to live with. Aside from the fact that his apartment is an absolute shambles (been there 15 years), he is regularly and disproportionately verbally abusive to me at a rate that seems to be increasing. I also don't have a single friend here.

I spent the past year in very effective psychotherapy that resolved many issues regarding depression, addiction, and general dissatisfation with my life. That progress is unravelling day by day living with my father.

Now, then... due to not having living expenses and strategically buying low and selling high, I have amassed around $4000.

What so I do?

1. Kill myself.
2. Find a cheap room for the rent in the Twin Cities (it really is beautiful in the summer). Keep looking for work.
3. Leave town for the short trip to Madison, Wisconsin.... which I've always heard is a cool town and spend the summer there.
4. An ex-girlfriend has invited me to come stay with her in Tallahassee, FL. This would mean leaving behind more possessions and spending the summer in the heat (ugh!) Not to mention the drama that may arise there. 8)

Anyway, thanks for reading all this. I'm really mainly depressed because I can't find a job to save my life and my old man is driving me fucking bananas.

-jf
 
2 is your best bet, 3 might work out pretty well as well.

1 and 4 are both terrible ideas, avoid them.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Best of luck
 
Definitely do not follow step 1. 4. ,also is bad news.If you go visit an ex ,only bad things can come of it.Also,Florida is a dead end,and a Drug haven.I think you should stay in twin cities .I have a friend who lives there and swears it is America's best kept secret. This summer ,your life will get better .
 
Without knowing all the specifics...

1) come on now, I just gonna assume you're kidding around, which you shouldn't do when it comes to suicide

2) could work
3) could work
4) I'd say no. Situations change, people change, bad idea.
 
I'm biased, but I say Madison! You definitely could find a job here and it is indeed an awesome place to live for a pretty low cost. Definitely let me know if you decide on Madison.
 
Stay up jf, you're a pretty cool guy and it would suck if anything bad happened to you. Things have a way of working themselves out, just stay patient. :)
 
^ I find things can take forever to work themselves out if the right attitude is not there.

JF - 4k is great man! Thats enough money to never have to be broke again if you use it wisely. For me, life is a strategical proving grounds. I think the best thing for you is to move to a place where there is lots of opportunity. I don't know how old you are, but I am 22 and living in downtown Toronto is the perfect thing for me. There is no shortage here of jobs, or apartments, and even friends.

The fact that you saved 4g is great! It shows a level of skill and goal setting. I recommend you be extremely careful with your next steps.

A) If at all possible, find a place to live in a populated city(before you move)
B) Find a job in a populated city or apply for welfare(before you move)
C) Buy your food in bulk
D) Exercise daily
E) Think about things that you enjoy and do things in your life that correctly make that which you enjoy more attainable. (I enjoy pretty girls and good food/working in the restaurant industry) so I dedicate my time to things that are going to improve upon my lifestyle.

Theres more things that can improve your lifestyle ofcourse, but if you just do those few things(which I know are hard) then you will feel proud of yourself man!

Once you get out of your dads place and are hitting the town after a good days work then you'll be feeling better abut yourself!

Thats what I do man. I work hard and I enjoy working. My life is sweet because I am in "control" of it. Its not realy control, but I can guide it a bit...

Not having proper funds is constricting and debilitating.

ENJOY YOUR LIFE MAN!!! Life is too short to waste being depressed. I know depression can't always be helped, but wallowing in it can.


Later bro!! <3
 
Have you applied to places like fast food and other restaurants? I recently got hired at a burger king near me and jobs are really hard to come by here as well. The aint much fun but at least i'm able to afford food gas and have some spending money left over.
 
Yeah, Draigan has given some good advice right there....

lol@ option 4. It would really depend how into this girl you really ever were, and if you felt there was anything worth rekindling.

good luck <3
 
id try and work shit out with your dad as hard as it may be. save as much money as possible. look into getting job training at a vocational school and continue looking for a job.

if its a must u move, Draigan gave good advice "move to a place where there is lots of opportunity"

spork said "I say Madison! You definitely could find a job here and it is indeed an awesome place to live for a pretty low cost."

thats something to look into. i wish u the best of luck.
 
just get out of there and don't give up on applying for jobs - its not fun and just discouraging after a while, i've been there and i agree, keep on truckin'. hourly jobs like kmart and mcdonalds you have to apply for online anyway so do that for both cities (try to do three job applications every night, an hour each), and as soon as you're ready get out of one of them, and then apply to the jobs which you're more likely to get in person (security personnel, hotel maid, entry-level technician/repairman/maintenance jobs, or something better if you have a GED or further training).

Try to share a room with someone in some shared house; you can get rent and utilities for as low as $200, 300 a mo if you do that. Live on rice, beans, milk, bread, eggs, other cheap groceries. Not mcdonalds. Mcdonalds is cheap but when you compare it to groceries (cost/lb) it's still not as cheap as groceries.

$4000 is doing good. Great work there. When you're in the city and you don't have a job yet, learn a trade you can ply (fixing computers, home repairs, cooking), or one you can get certification for, but don't have to take classes for and can just read from a book/practice on your own (fixing computers (A+ certification), accounting, computer knowledge like MSIE+, electrician, CDL if you can find a friend with a truck which you can drive around in a parking lot and quiet streets :), etc).

Visit the local department of labor wherever you go. This is surprising, but sometimes the local DOL has the most up to date printouts of anywhere in the county from employers who are looking to A. hire lots of people B. Hire people right now fast fast. C. Both. I've gotten a job from a DOL bulletin board before hence why I mention it.

As for the friend thing, all I can say is work up the courage to start up conversations and approach strangers and ask to hang out. Basketball court, in line at the grocery store, chillin' at the park, you name it. Best way to make friends: get interested in people. Keep half the conversation about them - whether they like their job, what their favorite music is, what they think about this or that.

Force yourself to make friends with whoever you interact with / run into on a regular basis; that's common ground enough. Even if they're not like, someone you'd be friends with in high school or the friendship isn't about the subjects you normally bond over. Like, is your neighbor a Mexican immigrant who barely speaks english and you never been friends with a hispanic before and you think they're weird? Who cares, no time for that, show up at his house one day invite him (and his family?) over for chicken, sandwiches, salad, cervezas everyone understands food. The most basic things about being friends don't require language
 
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I'm so bummed to hear the move hasn't worked out for you thus far......
I was reeally hoping it would bring good things your way.

I say go for option 2 or 3.
If you get a cheap enough place, pay a few months up front, things could work out really well if you take whatever job you can get! I wouldn't really be picky a this point- take whatever is available while looking for a job you'd really like.

Keep us updated!
Lots of luck!
Sending you positive vibes jf <3
 
My best advice as far as trying to make money is try to find a full time 3rd shift job. Even in a shitty economy there is a lot of people that absolutely refuse to work those god awful hours. In my area I still see a decent amount of 3rd shift positions opening up in retail stores. If you find a store that's not 24 hours you avoid almost all of the shitty parts of working in retail, no customers, lax rules, less stress. You just gotta be a hard worker, but the works usually not hard. You'll probably meet some interesting people too, 3rd shifters are usually pretty cool people. But what I'm getting at is in exchange for working the shitty hours the pay is pretty good. I live in around Milwaukee right now and I'm making $13 an hour as a 3rd shift stockboy will full benefits. I'm easily supporting myself on that right now in this area. Maybe try factory work too, it's repetitive and boring, sometimes painful, but it pays the bills. Again 3rd shift in that line of work will probably pay a premium.

Whatever you do, don't off yourself bro, if you got three other options to consider, just take that one out of the list. And you always have atleast two, and life is always the better choice. I've seen a lot of people survive suicide attempts and 5 years later they're the happiest people I know, and I've seen a lot of people that were successful at their attempts, and it hurts me to know what they could have been. Just go out and walk around your city and see whats going on, maybe take a few bucks, and see whats going on. You'll find friends. It sucks, and it's awkward meeting new people, but I think finding yourself some homies would really help your situation as you would have places to stay and things to do when things get rough at home.
 
Man we used to talk alot in PD when you were in Austin because I am down here in Houston. There are thousands of jobs here in houston right now...I wish I would have known that a fellow texan was hard up..i could have sent you links to jobs down here that are easy to get. Best of luck to you and if you come back down towards Austin Pm me and let me know man.My cousin lives in Austin and has the hookup on manual type work. Best of luck
 
Oh, wow, you guys...... I'm tearin' up here, literally.

Thanks for all the kind words and good advice. I tried to get an apt here in town, but my credit was turned down (which was news to me). Probably just as well, as I was having second thoughts about bailing on my old man.

He's a cantankerous pain in the ass, but he has always been there for me when I needed him. Actually, HE, has never really been there for me, but his money has, and it's pulled my nuts out of the fire more than once.

Max, thanks Brother. Your kind words are making me cry like a baby in a public library! ;) You know I think you're the bee's knees, too.

Spork! That's right.... I forgot you lived in Madison. We'll see if a job magically appears in the next week or two, then Madison goes to the top of the list of opportunities. I've always heard it's a great town. Sent you a PM!

Thanks again, everyone. I struggle valiantly onward! :)
 
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