toobusycrashing
Greenlighter
I'd love to hear some thoughts about a recent experience of mine thats left me reeling. I've been taking all sorts of drugs recreationally for about 10 years, I'm 23. I've never had any serious problems, never had a seizure or an addiction or OD'd before.
Last week I was out raving and was just drinking. Left the party at about 4am with a boy, and said to him we should get some drugs....thinking ketamine or MDMA. This old guy he knew said he had some and tagged along with us. I was pretty drunk. We got some beers and went down to the River, the sun was just coming up. The old guy took out a baggy and emptied onto the wall and handed me a rolled up note. I asked what it was and he said, "doesn't matter but it'll give you concrete feet." I asked again and he just repeated himself.
I don't understand why I did what I did next but I just took the note and took a big sniff. It smelt and tasted like cocaine which was reassuring, the boy did some too and agreed with me. I felt it hadn't hit the back of my nose properly so I did more. And then some more. And then more. The old guy did almost as much as me. The boy didn't do anymore than about one line's worth. We then started walking and I remember feeling dizzy and holding the boys hand. We got a taxi and I remember feeling very bad in the taxi and very scared and not understanding what was going on.
Then I remember nothing really. I remember different voices, a woman. I remember pavement and a bright light in my eyes and I remember a voice saying "not responding". But none of it felt real it felt like the sort of vague unpleasant dream you have when you nod off on the train.
The next thing I can remember is a curtain being pulled back and the boy is sitting on a chair looking miserable. I asked him where we were and he said hospital which I thought was an amazing, hilarious scenario. It felt magical and sexual and exciting and completely like a lucid dream I didn't believe it was real at all. I tripped out that I was running around the hospital meeting lots of people it was an exciting adventure. Then I started to think we had been abducted for medical research and I tore the tubes out of my arm and tried to take my hospital gown off.
I thought I could read the boys mind, I thought we were destined to be together and I could see his soul and kiss it and everything felt completely pure and fated and incredibly beautiful and right. I said aloud to him that I loved him and I made him give me a kiss. I thought we were lovers sleeping together in a train station. I thought we were husband and wife escaping a wartorn country... I started asking him to get into the bed with me.
I 'woke up' at about 11am. It felt like the end of a ketamine trip. He had to explain where I was and why. He showed me my face in the mirror where it was cut up from rolling around on the pavement with my eyes rolled back in my head. I threw up repeatedly for about 2-3 hours. I was so weak he had to carry me out of the hospital.
I don't remember the toxicity report being read to me but he says they said the most prominent drug showing up in my blood was amphetamine and it was a poisonous level or something. It's hard because all my information has come from a boy who was tripping out too... He says it felt like a speed trip.
But if so how comes I collapsed and couldn't walk or move for 6-7 hours?
I had an IV in my arm for about an hour he says, but then I tore it out and they didnt put it back in. My arms and legs are bruised and cut up.
I was able to eat and sleep by the following evening but the world has taken on a bizarre edge since, it feels bigger and brighter and much much realer, and exciting.
I feel very confused about what happened.
Last week I was out raving and was just drinking. Left the party at about 4am with a boy, and said to him we should get some drugs....thinking ketamine or MDMA. This old guy he knew said he had some and tagged along with us. I was pretty drunk. We got some beers and went down to the River, the sun was just coming up. The old guy took out a baggy and emptied onto the wall and handed me a rolled up note. I asked what it was and he said, "doesn't matter but it'll give you concrete feet." I asked again and he just repeated himself.
I don't understand why I did what I did next but I just took the note and took a big sniff. It smelt and tasted like cocaine which was reassuring, the boy did some too and agreed with me. I felt it hadn't hit the back of my nose properly so I did more. And then some more. And then more. The old guy did almost as much as me. The boy didn't do anymore than about one line's worth. We then started walking and I remember feeling dizzy and holding the boys hand. We got a taxi and I remember feeling very bad in the taxi and very scared and not understanding what was going on.
Then I remember nothing really. I remember different voices, a woman. I remember pavement and a bright light in my eyes and I remember a voice saying "not responding". But none of it felt real it felt like the sort of vague unpleasant dream you have when you nod off on the train.
The next thing I can remember is a curtain being pulled back and the boy is sitting on a chair looking miserable. I asked him where we were and he said hospital which I thought was an amazing, hilarious scenario. It felt magical and sexual and exciting and completely like a lucid dream I didn't believe it was real at all. I tripped out that I was running around the hospital meeting lots of people it was an exciting adventure. Then I started to think we had been abducted for medical research and I tore the tubes out of my arm and tried to take my hospital gown off.
I thought I could read the boys mind, I thought we were destined to be together and I could see his soul and kiss it and everything felt completely pure and fated and incredibly beautiful and right. I said aloud to him that I loved him and I made him give me a kiss. I thought we were lovers sleeping together in a train station. I thought we were husband and wife escaping a wartorn country... I started asking him to get into the bed with me.
I 'woke up' at about 11am. It felt like the end of a ketamine trip. He had to explain where I was and why. He showed me my face in the mirror where it was cut up from rolling around on the pavement with my eyes rolled back in my head. I threw up repeatedly for about 2-3 hours. I was so weak he had to carry me out of the hospital.
I don't remember the toxicity report being read to me but he says they said the most prominent drug showing up in my blood was amphetamine and it was a poisonous level or something. It's hard because all my information has come from a boy who was tripping out too... He says it felt like a speed trip.
But if so how comes I collapsed and couldn't walk or move for 6-7 hours?
I had an IV in my arm for about an hour he says, but then I tore it out and they didnt put it back in. My arms and legs are bruised and cut up.
I was able to eat and sleep by the following evening but the world has taken on a bizarre edge since, it feels bigger and brighter and much much realer, and exciting.
I feel very confused about what happened.
