What can we do for the best chance of sucess?

[LovemySister]

Howdy,
My sister is an opiate addict that has just went into detox. After that she goes to a rehab facility for 30 days. This is her first time in detox/rehab and she has been an addict for about 8 years. She has 2 children that we take care of and a job that we provide. She is completely financially dependent on us.

One of the things that my family and I keep wondering is this:

Are there things that we can do to maximize her chance of success?

When she comes home what does her schedule look like?

Do we give her drug tests?

Do we set rules up?

How do we balance hope of recovery with fear of relapse and making sure that as we help her again that help isnt going to feed a habit.

Today we are filled with hope as she enters detox and takes her first step toward recovery. We know her battle has really just begun. What were things critical to your sucess as a recovered addict? What were things that set you back? Im her big brother and I would love to see my sister happy and healthy. I know that it is up to her but I would love your insight into what would give her the best chance of success. Thanks so much for all your adivce and support. These forums have been a life saver to me and my family as we have watched the addiction ravage us. Thanks.

 

[P.o.T.u.S]

Was she forced into rehab or was it her choice?

 

[LovemySister]

well I think from her perspective she didnt have any other choice. We cut off all money and took the kids out of the house. But she chose to go to detox - drove down there with her BF today and admitted herself.

 

[herbavore]

One of the most important things that you as a family can do is to educate yourselves about addiction while she is in rehab. Read, read, read. Shame and lack of self-worth are a huge factor in relapse. What can your family do to minimize your sister's sense of failure? What language can you use to even change the way you see her?
Off the top of my head, here are some resources that may inspire deeper understanding:
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté
http://thetaoofrecovery.com/ (website with very comprehensive writing relevant to the 12-step approach which your sister will no doubt be required to attend in rehab)
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/readlist.htm (recommended reading list by SMART recovery)

You will find that there is really no consensus on what addiction is and therefore it can be unsettling and confusing. Trust your intuitions, continually check your own mind for judgments and biases (we all have them!) and try to set clear boundaries for yourself while encouraging your parents to do the same. I wish you and your family well. I have been in this struggle as a niece, a sister and a parent and I know how crazy it can make you. It's a constant roller coaster of hope and despair. Buddhist philosophy helped me the most. Go deeply into whatever you find that will help you and encourage your sister to do the same.