What can I do if my "friend" stole from me?

ThaiDie4

ThaiDie4

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Mar 9, 2009
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U.S., east coast babyyy
A little over a year ago, one my old roomates "stole" a purse of mine and I want to know if I can take legal action against her to get it back? We used to be friends, and she kept assuring me after she moved out of our old place that she had simply "forgotten to return it, and would give it back". Well, I've been really patient about it for a year (she now lives 4 hours away from me and only comes into town occaisonally to visit friends) but it's pretty clear to me that it is not her top priority to return it. It's not even that I think she wants to keep it, she just always forgets to bring it and she really isn't even concerned about it, which is super selfish IMO.
It doesn't matter how many times I ask her to return it, it's the same old excuses.

Can I file a police report or something and claim it as stolen so that she has to return it?? It's an important possession of mine because my mom gave it to me and it's retailed at like $75, which is a decent amount of money IMO. More than that, I just don't like being walked over.

It seems silly to make a big fuss over a freakin pocketbook, but I am not interested in getting her in trouble, I just want it back!! :!
 
maybe first try to send her a polite, but direct letter?
state that you are unhappy with this situation & taht your patience is at its end.
sometimes things written black on white have more impact than a phone call or so...
 
You can sue her for it in small claims court. It's usually around $50 to file a case, and then you can just represent yourself.
 
Have you told her you've thought about going to the police or court over this? As mentioned, it is always best to avoid getting the law involved. (It depends on where you live, but I'm not sure whether the cops would help you with this.) On the civil side, small claims would be the way to go. You'll have to decide if the value of the purse is worth the time and effort of bringing a case, though. In the meantime, maybe see if you can get some kind of acknowledgement from her that the purse is yours -- response to an email, recorded conversation, etc.
 
^ Thank you for your suggestions, guys.

Banquo, I actually do have a Facebook message saved in which she clearly admits to still having my purse. Is that good??

And I did send her a message letting her know that I would take legal action if she didn't return it (I sort of bluffed here, not knowing if that was possible or not). She insisted that it didn't need to come to that, and that she'd have to mailed to me in a week - this was a month ago :| I was a sucker for believing her. I sent her a follow up message, no response. I REALLY think she believes I will pussy out and not do anything, she doesn't care. If the number of text messages, phone calls and FB messages I've sent her aren't doing any good, I don't know what will.
 
Why don't you just drive to her house, if you want it that bad, and take it?
 
Filing in small claims court usually, as I understand it, simply involves the filling out of a short form or two. These forms may even be online.

So. Print them out, or go down to the court and pick them up. Fill them out. Don't file them yet. Send them by certified mail to your friend, with a short letter explaining that while you really do not want to resort to court, and value her as a friend, you are ready and willing to do so. All you need to do is file the forms, and you are at the end of your patience. In fact, you feel quite angry and disrespected. If she wants to mail back your purse, she simply needs to find a FedEx office or UPS store where they will box it for her. It won't cost much. Tell her to give you a call WHEN SHE HAS DONE SO.

Explain that if you do not hear from her within one week following the receipt of your letter, you will file in court and possibly take other legal action as well. Enough is enough.

After the letter is sent, do not contact her. Wait for the return receipt indicating that she has received the letter, and give her the week--again, without contacting her. Any further contact from you at that point will only weaken your position; you must appear fully committed. You've set your conditions, you've given a deadline, and it is all final. There are no more excuses.

If that doesn't work, then file.
 
Thank you, Heuristic! That sounds like a good idea to me :D

Do I need to pick up these forms in the courthouse of the city in which the "robbery" happened? The thing is, we both went to school together in one city (this is where the purse was stolen), but she has since transferred schools and lives 4 hours north of there now. I am spending the summer at home which is about 45 minutes from my college town. I don't mind driving the 45 minutes to visit the courthouse if that is necessary, but if it doesn't matter, can I just pick them up from the courthouse in the town I am staying in currently?

^ Sorry if that is worded confuzing, but I think you get what I mean.
 
Even though she doesn't deserve it, offer to reimburse her the shipping costs.

Then make her wait three months for it! (j/k)
 
ThaiDie, that would really depend on how small-claims courts work in your particular state. If you go to your state's courts website, or the state website, you could probably find the answer. Another option is to ask the clerk at your local courthouse.

Regardless, though, since you're using the forms you're mailing primarily as a threat, I would use the ones you obtain from the local courthouse. I think your friend will be responsive to the threat itself, especially since the completed forms, deadline, etc., will make the threat appear credible.

If the deadline passes, and it turns out that you do need to file elsewhere, then make the trip. At this point though, I'd save the gas.
 
^ Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks again, I think this should work! This girl has gotten into quite a bit of legal trouble in her days, and I know she wants to avoid anymore infractions at all costs.

I appriciate all the advice :D
 
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