danalprazolam
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2005
- Messages
- 1,064
Nothing would ever give me away, except when I cant help but make this huge grin
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Nothing would ever give me away, except when I cant help but make this huge grin.
I spend all day on Bluelight.
Great topic for a thread!
Lets see. Back in my addicted state (pain pills), I managed to function and appear quite "normal", (as long as I had a supply.) However, in hindsight, there should have been indications that I was an opiate addict.
1. My pupils become pinned more quickly and profoundly than anyone else I know. Seriously, a crumb of a 5 mg. hydro, and they are so small as to be almost nonexistent.
2. I rarely had any money; I would put like 5 bucks worth of gas at a time in my car, scrounge for change to buy cigarettes, etc.
3. How many times per month can a person have "a touch of stomach flu?" (My ability to score was haphazard and limited a lot of the time, either due to cash flow or locating a supply, so at times, I spent about as many days in w/d as I did feeling good. Man did that suck.)
4. Spending a lot of time and being "friends" with some shady-ass people. Innocent family members would wonder why I "let them take advantage" of me so, but the truth was, I was in the position of having to kiss ass in order to assure I'd get what I needed. Don't miss that; never going back.
5. I quit drinking, like, overnight. My Mom was so "proud" of me for this, but little did she know I had traded chronic alcohol abuse for way worse actual addiction. I still feel awful for allowing her to keep on believing that.
I don't believe there were ever any real "tells" that I was high at the moment, when I would be around people. I would become way more "happy" and talkative, but I have always had spurts like that, even without the aid of opiates.