Mental Health What are your thoughts on drug use with mental health conditions?

[speed-limper]

To be open, I am schizophrenic, diagnosed multiple times from different doctors. Most of them attributed the development of schizophrenia to my use of weed and other "softer" drugs when I was a preteen/ teen. What I never told the doctors was that I have had visual and auditory hallucinations since I was a child, as long as I can remember. The general symptoms of schizophrenia, like the paranoia, delusions, and disorganized thinking have almost always been present for me.

I know mental health is complex and can have many factors, genetic, environmental, and any kind of trauma can add into the root cause. If anything, growing up in a rural, poor, isolated area caused me to get minimum mental health care for years until the suicide of a close friend. I would say I started trying drugs as a way to self medicate before getting any actual help.

Ever since I had reached out for help years ago, most doctors exclusively blame drug use, it didn't matter what kind of drug it was. Rather than acknowledge that with proper medication my drug use would drastically decline or stop all together, I've been told that I'll never have a normal life, and they focus on the drug use rather than issues I've dealt with all my life, making me feel that they almost exclusively believe I have substance induced psychotic traits more so than schizophrenia.

The only issue I have with treatment is antipsychotic medication. The first time I was on risperdone my hallucinations lost color and a certain "warmth" they had with them, making it much harder to distinguish reality from what's in my head. I've developed an idea that most doctors just want people like me sedated to make others comfortable or to make me uncaring about the problems I experience as long as I don't come off as psychotic and dangerous.

It's hard to manage a normal job, raise a child, and have to constantly fight to get Healthcare that cares about your actual problems. They don't care about you being functional and being able to survive in a world like this. I almost lost my job due to being committed and forcibly given haldol injections to be able to leave inpatient. After being legitimately stalked, I was told I was hallucinating and had substance induced psychosis.

Why do other people get to dictate what's normal for me to experience, and get to judge whether or not my hallucinations make me dangerous? I was in AP/ IB in school, accepted into foreign colleges, scored 31/32 on ACT, and a certified welder, registered machinist to certain fortune 500 companies, and hold contractors licenses in multiple states.

If I lead with my achievements instead of what I need help with, most people would march behind me in support of me. If I lead with my problems, Schizophrenia, Depression, General Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, PTSD, and Bi-Polar, people feel like it's amazing for me to be able to make it day to day.

I don't really know what I want to hear, especially since this is the first time I've tried to lay it out like this; I just know I'm not the only person who experienced this kind of mistreatment, or demonizing by other. I just wanna have some solidarity I suppose. I'm fighting to try and build a small platform to talk about the full spectrum of mental Healthcare and the struggles some of us go through just to try and maintain a societal "norm" despite not being the "norm."

 

[M!$TER-ED]

It is difficult to determine the source or sources of mental illness. I was moody as an adolescent which may have been an indication of mental illness prior to its onset in my mid twenties. There are other factors involved including childhood trauma and excessive psychedelic drug use, primarily MDA.
Long term MDA use I believe largely contributed to mental breakdown based on MDA studies affecting the brain.
Knowing how or what caused mental illness in my case is irrelevant for it how I got this stupid mind disease but what have I done to overcome this condition. Time, it takes time to learn about yourself and your place in the world. Knowing yourself gives you the ability to choose how you want to live your life.

Mental illness causes confusion, distorts reasoning and creates internal chaos. Medication is a double-edged sword, at best medication will alleviate symptoms with little side effects. However, getting the right medication is trial and error that changes over time.

Best advice is knowing time changes everything. If you are in a bad place be patient with the process of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing is permanent therefore live your life accordingly.

 

[pixies+]

To be open, I am schizophrenic, diagnosed multiple times from different doctors. Most of them attributed the development of schizophrenia to my use of weed and other "softer" drugs when I was a preteen/ teen. What I never told the doctors was that I have had visual and auditory hallucinations since I was a child, as long as I can remember. The general symptoms of schizophrenia, like the paranoia, delusions, and disorganized thinking have almost always been present for me.

I know mental health is complex and can have many factors, genetic, environmental, and any kind of trauma can add into the root cause. If anything, growing up in a rural, poor, isolated area caused me to get minimum mental health care for years until the suicide of a close friend. I would say I started trying drugs as a way to self medicate before getting any actual help.

Ever since I had reached out for help years ago, most doctors exclusively blame drug use, it didn't matter what kind of drug it was. Rather than acknowledge that with proper medication my drug use would drastically decline or stop all together, I've been told that I'll never have a normal life, and they focus on the drug use rather than issues I've dealt with all my life, making me feel that they almost exclusively believe I have substance induced psychotic traits more so than schizophrenia.

The only issue I have with treatment is antipsychotic medication. The first time I was on risperdone my hallucinations lost color and a certain "warmth" they had with them, making it much harder to distinguish reality from what's in my head. I've developed an idea that most doctors just want people like me sedated to make others comfortable or to make me uncaring about the problems I experience as long as I don't come off as psychotic and dangerous.

It's hard to manage a normal job, raise a child, and have to constantly fight to get Healthcare that cares about your actual problems. They don't care about you being functional and being able to survive in a world like this. I almost lost my job due to being committed and forcibly given haldol injections to be able to leave inpatient. After being legitimately stalked, I was told I was hallucinating and had substance induced psychosis.

Why do other people get to dictate what's normal for me to experience, and get to judge whether or not my hallucinations make me dangerous? I was in AP/ IB in school, accepted into foreign colleges, scored 31/32 on ACT, and a certified welder, registered machinist to certain fortune 500 companies, and hold contractors licenses in multiple states.

If I lead with my achievements instead of what I need help with, most people would march behind me in support of me. If I lead with my problems, Schizophrenia, Depression, General Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, PTSD, and Bi-Polar, people feel like it's amazing for me to be able to make it day to day.

I don't really know what I want to hear, especially since this is the first time I've tried to lay it out like this; I just know I'm not the only person who experienced this kind of mistreatment, or demonizing by other. I just wanna have some solidarity I suppose. I'm fighting to try and build a small platform to talk about the full spectrum of mental Healthcare and the struggles some of us go through just to try and maintain a societal "norm" despite not being the "norm."

I have a couple questions to ask, and I promise you … this is not meant as a “take down” and it’s not me “challenging you”… trust Please know that I have never experienced psychosis that wasn’t cocaine (almost positive meth in the coke) induced, so my understanding of schizophrenic disorders is minimal at best. My cousin was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 16 years old from smoking weed. So this post stood out for some reason.

Have you ever hurt anyone, yourself included, while you were your usual, unmedicated (psych meds) self?

Have you ever hurt yourself, or anyone else, while you were self medicating?

Have you ever hurt yourself/anyone else while medicated with psych meds?

I don’t really know where I’m going with this.. I’m certainly not in the position to offer medical advice, nor would I even if I could over the internet.

I’m curious and I’d like to understand.

I’m not judging you even if the answer is yes to all.

Also, what types of self medicating to you prefer to do? What are you DOCs? Or DOC?

 

[speed-limper]

Actually, no. I have almost hurt myself but I put myself in the psych ward. I realized it was boiling over and I couldn't maintain by myself anymore.

Psych meds make me less reactive to others emotion, and I already struggle with severe anhedonia and bunting of emotions. I try to be empathic but it doesn't come to me naturally.

The largest difference I've felt between drug induced psychosis and schizophrenia psychosis is that thoughts brought on by the drug induced psychosis are sharper, harsher, and generally more negative towards others than myself. My natural psychotic episodes are generally more negative towards me because of the stuff I deal with from my diagnosis. I can feel drug induced psychosis, I can't always tell if I'm going psychotic naturally. To be more clear, I can cover up drug psychosis and work, I can't cover my natural psychosis and deal with people.

I love weed, but it doesn't always mesh well with my mental state nowadays. I also love amphetamines but try to be extremely careful, that's a dangerous road. My doctor wants to build more of a relationship before prescribing stimulants for my ADHD. I don't really have a drug of choice honestly. I've had to self medicate for so long that I've learned they can all help and have their ups and downs if used effectively.

My normal daily meds are buspar, clonodine, gabapentin and flexeril. I try not be under the influence at all points, mostly when I need mental support I can't give myself.