https://youtu.be/f4L-ygcYgXQ The Macc Lads - Germans
good evening mate
https://youtu.be/pPCCIQKm43M My bird rang up just the other day, she said:
"Get round fast, me folks have gone away. They've booked two weeks in Torremolinos"
I was round in a flash with a rock hard penis.
Threw her down on her mum and dad's bed- skirt up, knickers off, legs well spread.
One second after I'd filled up her twat, she shouts:
"Fuck pig and arsehole! Me mum and dad's back!"
Ran to the kitchen, pretend nowt's afoot- spic bastards on strike, airport shut.
"Yes, Reverand, no Reverand," polite chit-chat,
Then I saw a dribble and I heard a splat...
(Wee-Splat!) Glodge of jism's landed on the floor
Left foot on the bastard, vicar chats about the war
(Wee-Splat!) Another glob on the 'welcome' mat,
If I stretch my right leg, I'll get my foot on the twat
My bird leans over and quietly whispers:
"Nip upstairs and try and find me knickers."
"If they catch me up there, I'll get shot, besides, I can't move- I'm stuck to the spot,
And keep your knees together, stop moving about,
There's all manner of gear falling out of your clout."
"... And this band you're in, is it heavy metal?"
Christ almighty! She's over by the kettle!
(Wee-Splat!) Drop of spunk's landed by the cooker
Threw my jacket down and covered up the fucker
(Wee-Splat!) If he missed that cunt, the old git needs spectacles
How much yoghurt do I keep in my testicles?
Sticky pattern on the lino getting bigger and bigger,
"Garden looks nice, more tea vicar?"
"Now then son, you been shagging our Louise?
There's one of her pubes stuck in your teeth,
And my fucking floor's covered in bladder adder snot,
May the Lord strike you down dead upon this spot!"
He slips in the slime and lands on his bot,
And I thought God would be a better shot.
https://youtu.be/qxRyeuY2hz8 the macc lads-grease stop
GREASE STOP
ƒ D A B E C#m
Packing up the PA at the end of the night,
Everybody's knackered and they're covered in shite
We've played to Southern poofters, Jocks and Druids
And showered each other with bodily fluids
Blood sweat and beer, fanny batter and piss
We're going to the services on the M6
Grease stop: bacon and eggs, sausage and beans and a pile of fried bread
Grease stop: who'll eat the most? Ben Nevis has pissed on Slippery's toast
Costs a fucking packet, but don't you knock it
Stez hid his beans in his inside pocket
I've got a pickled liver, I don't give a shit, more tar on my lungs than the A56,
Spots on my face from too many chips,
No woman would give me the crust off her clit
Blood sweat and beer, beer sweat and blood
Seventeen miles to Michael Wood
Grease stop: piles of fried bread, Muttley got hit by a low-flying egg
Grease stop: bring your own ale, black puddings are off, the bread buns are stale
Grease stop: pie on your head, beans down your teeshirt, soup down your leg
Grease stop: who'll eat the most? Slippery pissed on McCavity's toast
Blood sweat and beer, beer sweat and crap
Twenty more miles to Watford Gap.
©1990 The Macc Lads
N.B.- Watford Gap (M1) & Michael Wood (M5) are motorway services frequented by the band at half past cunt in the morning on the way home. Others recommended for high lard content and food-fighting facilities are:-
Birch (M62) Trowell (M1) Southwaite (M6) and the Great Grease Temple at Hilton Park (M6).
N.B.-Macclesfield English Dictionary (MED) definitions are as follows:-
Southern Poofters: Those living to the South of Congleton
Jocks: Those who dwell beyond Leeds
Druids: Anyone who lives in (or near) Wales
