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Mental Health What are three main reasons you do not give up the ghost? (commit suicide)

I've attempted suicide more times than I can count or remember, getting slightly closer to being successful each time. Sometimes I still want to die, but mostly I'm happy (even if it's fake happiness) because of medication and drugs. I'm on many, many medications for mental health that really help, plus abusing gabapentin and opioids gives me a false happiness.
 
1. My cat
2. My family
3. Being dead does not seem fun

jasperkent said:
I thought about this and I need to amend my answers. My dog is still #1, for sure.

But #2 or #3 would be What if I botch the job?
Suppose I end up paralyzed, blind, deaf, mute, and utterly miserable? And what if nobody gives me good drugs?
That's my definition of HELL.
Click to expand...

When i was in the psych ward i thought it was purgatory. I had no drugs besides weed and the few times my mom brought me in some clonazepam. Having no access to drugs is one of my definitions of hell or purgatory for sure
 
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I don't think I have anything to add that hasn't already been said (and by people who are far more eloquent than me) but I just want to say that I have been that person who is desperate to die, who doesn't see the point and who can't understand or accept all those valid points against it that everyone else kept saying to me. When things are that miserable it's hard to have faith or hope, it's hard to believe or even remember when things were better. And the more people told me those things I just used to get more pissed off because it was like no one understood and I believed they were all wrong so I would retaliate against that, dig my heels in and not listen to anything. But ultimately I think trust was what pulled me through. I might not have agreed with what people were telling me - that life was worth living, that there is hope for the future etc - but I did trust those people. So that is where I had to put my faith and trust those people, learn to just listen to other people, let them make the decisions and learn to be patient.

I don't know if that's any help at all, Robi. It's tough being in your situation, make sure you look after yourself too.
 
Because my life experiences and hardships can help someone else down the road and they are invaluable to those that might benefit from it also life is not a dress rehearsal we don’t get do overs…
 
I have the mindset that I can't fail. Obviously I do sometimes, but I don't dwell on that. I simply can't fail. I'll try my best. It it's not good enough, then so be it. The sun rises again tomorrow, I'll try again.

I used to be scared to fail. Now I'm scared of not trying.
 
I honestly come from a perspective of needing a reason to hurt myself, which I don't, rather than a reason to not just myself. I'd rephrase things. Personally.
 
  1. My mother lost her sister to suicide and I saw what it did to my mum.
  2. I have hold out hope of starting my own family.
  3. I go to school that engages me and afford me my only opportunity to socialize with people who aren't psychotic and/ or online.
To clarify I am having a medium to rough depressive, "period?"/"episode?" Idk idc, still sad.
 
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