Generally may be just my experience, and this is only a year into the only healthy relationship I’ve been in..
But touch seems to be extremely important. It’s something I really really struggle with, I could throw a million labels (Autism, Trauma)
But no matter what I’ve learnt at-least with my partner you can explain all you like, and she is so understanding, but still it closes off the two of you in a way. She will still feel it, and so will I.
Although I have to push myself, once past this, there’s a openness and love that comes which grows, through those first touches.
I think sometimes relationships stagnate due to feigned familiarity, people lapse to their perception, and will craft their interaction with a partner.
That may contradict above (as sometimes I have to consciously counter perception through reasoning)
but what I mean is, that people have preconceived notions, and not act or say what wants to come because of fear or this false assumption of familiarity.
A continuous sense of self and with your partner is important, but realising also each day is new, and not a repeat. Not settling into a routine but an exploration. Not just through the body, or conversation but in unison from whatever you do together.
I notice when I lapse to etches of routine and familiarity, I’m more closed of, and feel less wishing to relax into the moment with my partner. My issue.
When I really feel into it, and open, let ourselves be who we were, are but also anew each and everyday, the love magnifies.
No one will ever be perfect, and certainly I won’t. I’m hard on myself, likely to much in a way that causes a blip that inversely worsens my closed offness.
I don’t give up, I love this woman, and I’ve observed the cascading bliss that comes from a genuine effort to keep growing.
Cliche or whatever but a relationship is a flower.
Not a Roman concrete road that will work forever without any further input. (A weird metaphor and stretch but good enough lol)
