Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
of even keeping this account alive. No one listens to me. My music trash 🗑 I understand that now. Or it woulda caught on. It’s my fault my dad committed suicide. It’s my fault my mom has a drug addiction. I shoulda been aborted but I’m tired of playing victim.
Sometimes I wish my father could talk to me and tell me if carbon monoxide poisoning hurts. Atleast he didn’t pick the quick way out, gunshot or pull overdose. I don’t wanna kill myself and I have no plans to. but I pray the God does, the universe, Satan, karma cause this body is a fucking waste I’m a fucking pos waste. With or without drugs I just want it to end. The drugs don’t work. So I quit now the hatred for myself comes in. My only options. Take Wellbutrin, and klonopin. But I’m taking Ritalin. And ima tell my doctor ima just go source it if you don’t. I give a fuck less about a red flag or getting taken off my klonopin.
Even @schizopath the music moderator only left a like cause he’s just a nice guy like that but he knows I’m trash. But the great thing about the drug combo I got is idc anymore who i display this anger and rage to anymore. Everyone on here knows. I’m an asshole that no one likes that’s why my post get shadowbanned or just ignored I would too. I’m not trying to play victim, if I wasn’t a pussy I wouldn’t be typing I’d be taking action. But idk where to go. The therapist cut my problems off in 15 mins. Psychiatrist just want my Medicare money, I have God and Jesus and I know a lot of you hate them but that’s it. I hear about tripping and rewriting my neuronchemistry, but what’s the point if suicide is in my dna. What’s the point in building a life with a SO just for them to divorce you in the end. What’s the point of children, they will only turn their back on me. I would, I wouldn’t want me as a father.
Maybe money, but the more money I have the more of a waste it is to me, it’s not mine. It’s Gods, and the federal reserves. And in the end the Rothschild. What’s the point of money when I can’t buy drugs. I bought a car that just sits cause I’m disability. Ima leave my stocks where they are at, let them make money for my family, and I would say something now but I don’t talk about helping others. I feel that’s arrogant and your only seeking praise.
Maybe some volunteering would help, maybe getting out of the house, where YouTube has became borning. Internet is boring and that I can help someone get what they need, and perhaps talk someone outta feeling the way I feel inside. I’m sorry Bluelight I annoy a lot of you. I disrespect a lot of you. This Dr Jekyll mr Hyde bipolar shit has to stop, I don’t wanna be a detriment or a stress to anyone anymore.but I’m not eating the pills they wanna give. I’m not staying glued. I know what stims do and I know what benzos do. I know what opiates do. I do not understand SSRI or SRNI like Wellbutrin cathinone based. I started the hobby of mushrooms, yet I remained scared to even take a microdose. Cause of where I’ve been with them. I see no help. I see no end. I told my doctor all this. I want my therapist back.. but what are they going to do
Sometimes I wish my father could talk to me and tell me if carbon monoxide poisoning hurts. Atleast he didn’t pick the quick way out, gunshot or pull overdose. I don’t wanna kill myself and I have no plans to. but I pray the God does, the universe, Satan, karma cause this body is a fucking waste I’m a fucking pos waste. With or without drugs I just want it to end. The drugs don’t work. So I quit now the hatred for myself comes in. My only options. Take Wellbutrin, and klonopin. But I’m taking Ritalin. And ima tell my doctor ima just go source it if you don’t. I give a fuck less about a red flag or getting taken off my klonopin.
Even @schizopath the music moderator only left a like cause he’s just a nice guy like that but he knows I’m trash. But the great thing about the drug combo I got is idc anymore who i display this anger and rage to anymore. Everyone on here knows. I’m an asshole that no one likes that’s why my post get shadowbanned or just ignored I would too. I’m not trying to play victim, if I wasn’t a pussy I wouldn’t be typing I’d be taking action. But idk where to go. The therapist cut my problems off in 15 mins. Psychiatrist just want my Medicare money, I have God and Jesus and I know a lot of you hate them but that’s it. I hear about tripping and rewriting my neuronchemistry, but what’s the point if suicide is in my dna. What’s the point in building a life with a SO just for them to divorce you in the end. What’s the point of children, they will only turn their back on me. I would, I wouldn’t want me as a father.
Maybe money, but the more money I have the more of a waste it is to me, it’s not mine. It’s Gods, and the federal reserves. And in the end the Rothschild. What’s the point of money when I can’t buy drugs. I bought a car that just sits cause I’m disability. Ima leave my stocks where they are at, let them make money for my family, and I would say something now but I don’t talk about helping others. I feel that’s arrogant and your only seeking praise.
Maybe some volunteering would help, maybe getting out of the house, where YouTube has became borning. Internet is boring and that I can help someone get what they need, and perhaps talk someone outta feeling the way I feel inside. I’m sorry Bluelight I annoy a lot of you. I disrespect a lot of you. This Dr Jekyll mr Hyde bipolar shit has to stop, I don’t wanna be a detriment or a stress to anyone anymore.but I’m not eating the pills they wanna give. I’m not staying glued. I know what stims do and I know what benzos do. I know what opiates do. I do not understand SSRI or SRNI like Wellbutrin cathinone based. I started the hobby of mushrooms, yet I remained scared to even take a microdose. Cause of where I’ve been with them. I see no help. I see no end. I told my doctor all this. I want my therapist back.. but what are they going to do
). Please link it again. Thank you. 