We're still together, but the engagement's off

Yesterday me and Lydia had quite a major disagreement/fight (it was both our faults) and we decided to call off the engagement. People with borderline personality disorder are known for their turbulent relationships, and when you combine two people who suffer from BPD, I guess fights are often inevitable.

But we've made up now and all is good. We still love each other dearly and want to spend the rest of our lives together, but we now agree that we were probably a bit quick with the whole engagement thing. We'll do that again at a later date, once we've sorted a few issues out. Lydia is hoping to start DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) soon, and I'm also planning to resume mine with my drug counsellor who is fully trained with it.

Lydia has let me keep the ring as a symbol of her love, which I've gladly accepted, but I probably won't be wearing it on my ring finger until we decide the time is right to get engaged again. Anyway, we just thought you all deserved to know, as so many of you have been supportive to us both, and we consider you friends - even though we haven't met most of you face to face!

 

cudnt hav put it better myself

the ring is actually a symbol of acceptance 'no matter who i am' - only 2 ppl hav acted like they luv me and accept me (out of the ppl who hav to b round me often...) even thru my irritating ways, caused by my ADHD esp, but also my BPD
those ppl r my deceased Grandma, who also had ADHD badly and struggled wiv self-esteem esp wiv the rest of my family picking away at her like they do to me (i never picked on her - i saw the hurt in her eyes and knew that watever was wrong wiv her was also wrong wiv me)...the utha person that never picks at me/luvs me no matter wat is Keira
Keira doesnt understand ADHD properly yet, tho shes learning more and more bout why i act certain ways, but she understands BPD...and while ppl like Mum, who dont hav it, just act like im a 'drama queen', 'too oversensitive', etc, Keira gets it...totally!

the ring was originally Grandmas engagement ring but she kept wearing it on a diffrent finger wen she got married to my Grandad (who had a fatal heart attack at 64 - before i was born) just cos she loved the ring
she continued wearing both right up to her death wen i was 13, of bowel cancer (1997)
i believe she wud understand why i want Keira to keep the ring, even tho we r no longer engaged - she, like me, just wud hav loved to hav someone (other than me) who understood her like Keira understands me
she wud want Keira to hav the ring too
God bless u Grandma - and God bless u Keira

some of u may hav ur own opinions, sniggering to urselves thinking 'i so saw this coming'
if u thought like this, we refuse to feel silly
we made a mistake - we can hold our heads up high and admit it
pride comes before a fall
we needed to tell evryone who does care bout us, cos we dont want to hide any important secrets from those on BL we hav come to luv dearly, and hopefully, vice-versa!

LUV U KEIRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

^ Good post, babe. Despite the ups and downs, we do have a solid relationship. I think we just need time to work through our issues (drugs, mental health, etc) so we can be in a better space for engagement, and then marriage! I love you so much - you're still the only girl for me.

 

don't take it too hard girl. symbols mean little, it's deed and intent that count. as long you show your love to each other, who cares about a ceremony.

I don't give a fuck about my swearing into Her Majesty's service. Why should worry?

CHIN UP, SHOULDERS BACK, AND WALK WITH SWAGGER.

 

^ Thanks rangrz. Yeah I think we both now agree that delaying the engagement is for the best. And you're right, it's only a ceremony. We still love each other regardless of whether we're currently engaged or not. It doesn't really change anything.