Artificial Emotion
Bluelighter
I took some edibles the other night, not to get high but just to kill the pain in my knee. I thought I didn't eat anywhere near enough to get high but my heart started racing so hard I thought I was having a heart attack. I called the ambulance and they were really concerned when they did my ECG. They gave me nitrous oxide, GTN spray and aspirin because they were sure I was in some real trouble (they offered me morphine if you can believe it, but I refused). When I started sucking on the nitrous (Entonox which they give to women giving birth) it hit me and I instantaneous realized I was high as fuck. Then it started getting really weird and I started to lose control of my actions. I started yelling at the paramedics about conspiracy theories and other random BS. I just lost it. Anyway when I got to the hospital I had a battery of tests because my heart was not acting normally according to the ECG trace but they couldn't find anything seriously wrong, so when I took some diazepam and I calmed down, I went home.
Anyway today I feel SO embarassed. I have a problem with social phobia and for something like this to happen to me it's devestating. I don't know what it is about cannabis that makes me go so batshit crazy - like I'm a puppet someone else is controlling. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was 17 and I ended up dancing around in the hospital. I knew it was completely inappropriate but I couldn't do a damn thing to stop myself.
The reason I'm posting this is because I'm finding it hard to cope with the feelings of shame and embarassement and I just wanted someone to talk to about this so hopefully I feel better. The only thing that's stopping me from losing it is the fact that I'll never see those people again but still, it makes me feel awful nevertheless.
Anyway today I feel SO embarassed. I have a problem with social phobia and for something like this to happen to me it's devestating. I don't know what it is about cannabis that makes me go so batshit crazy - like I'm a puppet someone else is controlling. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was 17 and I ended up dancing around in the hospital. I knew it was completely inappropriate but I couldn't do a damn thing to stop myself.
The reason I'm posting this is because I'm finding it hard to cope with the feelings of shame and embarassement and I just wanted someone to talk to about this so hopefully I feel better. The only thing that's stopping me from losing it is the fact that I'll never see those people again but still, it makes me feel awful nevertheless.
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from the US.