Thinkwithportals
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2014
- Messages
- 125
Whew. Day 13. This was rough. I got home from my sisters - and bawled my eyes out to my fiancé. The guy we usually get oxy from texted, and I toyed with the idea of just getting some relief. Just for tonight. I went over and over in my head if I'm going about this the right way. It all just feels so intense this time.
I am truly struggling. I'm wondering if I would have tapered if this would have been easier. If I should give up and try again later. Every time I let my thoughts travel down that road though - I'm met with a great deal of anxiety. I wouldn't even say I miss the Kratom. I clearly recall the anguish while I was using - and the desire to be free of it.
Im pushing through today in increments of 10 minutes. Time is not my friend.
Everything aches today - my back is in knots. I pushed myself hard this weekend so that could be why.
Im really doubting myself today.
I am truly struggling. I'm wondering if I would have tapered if this would have been easier. If I should give up and try again later. Every time I let my thoughts travel down that road though - I'm met with a great deal of anxiety. I wouldn't even say I miss the Kratom. I clearly recall the anguish while I was using - and the desire to be free of it.
Im pushing through today in increments of 10 minutes. Time is not my friend.
Everything aches today - my back is in knots. I pushed myself hard this weekend so that could be why.
Im really doubting myself today.