EatMushrooms
Bluelighter
This is kinda long, but bear with me if you can.
So I've found myself in a weird situation with this girl and don't really know what the fuck is going on, so maybe somebody could help me out here. Or not, regardless it feels to good to talk about it with somebody even if it is just random people on a forum. So I met this girl back in October at a regional burning man festival. I'm 24 and she is 22 for reference. We hung out for a couple hours there and had a good time (from what I can actually remember, I was coming down from a serious trip at the time lol). Afterwards she found me on facebook and we talked every so often over the next couple months. Then sometime in December she asked what I was doing for New Years and it turns out I was gonna be a party with some friends only about a half hour from where she lives, so I invited her to come and party with us. So she and some of her friends came and chilled with us and we all had an awesome time. She even hooked me up with some dank ass mushrooms (which are basically my favorite thing ever if you couldn't tell from my BL name) which I thought was pretty badass. After all that we started to become much closer. Generally a long distance kinda thing is not what I want at all, but this girl was cool as fuck so I figured why not?
Now we started texted back and forth every day for a couple weeks and it was very clear that she was really into me. Eventually she asked if I'd rather talk on phone than just text, and I reluctantly agreed. It turned out great though, and we actually ended up talking for literally 7 hours the first time I called her. Then every single day from then on, without fail, we'd talk for hours. Sometimes she'd call me as soon as she got up to talk, and then again before she would go to bed. She was always talking about how great it was to have me in her life and how much it sucks that I live so far away. So we decided to meet up again for another party (I guess party is a relative term, which for me generally means sitting around smoking weed and tripping balls for a weekend) at my old roommate's house which happens to be almost exactly the halfway point between where me and her live so it worked out great, my friend even hooked me up with one of their bedrooms so we could have some alone time together while we were there. Again we met up and had a fucking awesome time together even though it was a very short time (she got there early in the day, spent the night, and then left really late the next day). We actually didn't end up having sex, I went down on her for what felt like an hour (I was coming down off some mushrooms again so my concept of time was kinda off). Afterward that we went out for a cigarette and we got back to bed she passed out almost immediately. I was a little angry that she didn't return the favor, but I got over it because it really wasn't a big deal. We spent the whole next day together which really just consisted of cuddling up and smoking bowls literally all day until she left.
We continued talking on the phone every day and everything is going fine. We were trying to find another time I could come to see her at her house so we could be together just me and her and not have to worry about being at somebody else's place for once, and St Patricks Day ended up working out really great for both of us. Somewhere along the way I asked her if she wanted a relationship because we hadn't really talked about it before and she said it would be better to talk about when I came to see her, although she did mention that she was hoping to be single for a good while after coming off a bad relationship (this was before we even met), however she did say that I might make her change her mind about that. That was an immediate red flag for me and got me thinking really hard for awhile if this is something I should even continue pursuing because I've heard that exact same thing before and it turned out really bad. But eventually I just put it out of my head and continued to fall for this girl. Fast forward a little bit to when I'm coming to see her and everything seems great, on my side at least.
My trip down there already kinda started off poorly when a bad situation at work ended up having her work almost the entire weekend that I was supposed to come down there, but I had already made other plans and I really couldn't wait any longer to see her so we just decided to make do with what we got. This is where I just get totally lost. I get there and something changed. First off, it was a 5 hour drive there and I didn't make it until almost midnight because she had to work late. We went over to her friends house and chilled there until very late and then went back to her place and passed out. She then had to work a 10 hour shift the next day, so I drove down to my friends house that we partied at for new years and chilled there all day until she got off and I drove back up to see her again. Now I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't really want me there. It's hard to explain, but there was a very obvious difference in how she looked at me, talked to me, everything. All out of fucking nowhere. At the time I just chalked it up to her being exhausted from work. Also, for the last two months she basically couldn't go a day without talking about how bad she wanted to fuck me. It never stopped, at points I felt like sex was the only thing she wanted to talk about, but obviously I'm cool with that. She would always say how bad she wished I was there in her bed and all the nasty shit she wanted to do to me ALL THE TIME. So I really had my hopes up about that as it has been a good while since I've had some good sex. The first two nights I can understand nothing happening because I know how drained you feel after working literally the entire day, so I didn't think anything of it.
Well now here we are the last night I'm going to be there. We were out again most of the day with some of her friends just chilling and got back to her place sometime around midnight. I figured since this is what we had talked about almost daily for so long, we'd have some sexy times. Well there I am in her bed just like she had talked about all the time. I tried to get her to come lay down with me but she just laughed and called me a dork (which is something she says all the time, because well...I am a dork). She then sat on at the computer on the other side of the room and played on facebook for literally an hour and a half while I just lay there in her bed waiting. She wouldn't even look at me and didn't say a word pretty much the whole time. I don't know if I've ever felt so shitty about myself in my life. Then when she finally came to bed all she said was "scoot over" and then laid down facing the other way. I swear she paid her cats more attention than me while I was there, the guy who she talked to daily for months and just drove 5 hours to see here. Rightfully or not, I was fucking pissed. I honestly wanted to just get up and leave in the middle of the night, but I figured that would be a pretty bad idea. So I just tried my best to fall asleep but I had no luck. Eventually I got over it and blamed myself, which I'm sure I did something stupid to ruin it. I don't really know, it pretty much shot down whatever big of self confidence I had left. We pretty much got up and went right back over to her friends house (which was cool, because I semi know her friends and they are cool as fuck) and chilled there for a couple hours until she had to work and I had to leave and get back home for school the next day. So we said our goodbyes and I left. And even after all that, I was still really sad to go.
What I really wanted out of my time seeing her was to just hang out just me and her but we hardly spent any time alone, and when we did it felt like she couldn't care less that I was there at all. Even when we were with her friends she hardly talked to me at all. It just kills me to feel so ignored. I really, really like this girl and I have no idea what the fuck happened. Now I've not heard from her except for one text since I left. So we talked every day for months and everything was just perfect, then I come to see her and she acts totally different towards me, and now she isn't talking to me. What am I supposed to make of all this? Am I just being crazy? I really just want to know what I did wrong but I can't bring myself to ask her because confrontation kinda scares the shit out of me, I can't help it. So any kind of input and what I should do next or maybe some insight as to what may have gone wrong would be nice, I'm kinda losing my mind over here. I had a great thing going and now it is falling apart and I have no idea why. And even if you don't wish to reply, thanks for reading this far.
So I've found myself in a weird situation with this girl and don't really know what the fuck is going on, so maybe somebody could help me out here. Or not, regardless it feels to good to talk about it with somebody even if it is just random people on a forum. So I met this girl back in October at a regional burning man festival. I'm 24 and she is 22 for reference. We hung out for a couple hours there and had a good time (from what I can actually remember, I was coming down from a serious trip at the time lol). Afterwards she found me on facebook and we talked every so often over the next couple months. Then sometime in December she asked what I was doing for New Years and it turns out I was gonna be a party with some friends only about a half hour from where she lives, so I invited her to come and party with us. So she and some of her friends came and chilled with us and we all had an awesome time. She even hooked me up with some dank ass mushrooms (which are basically my favorite thing ever if you couldn't tell from my BL name) which I thought was pretty badass. After all that we started to become much closer. Generally a long distance kinda thing is not what I want at all, but this girl was cool as fuck so I figured why not?
Now we started texted back and forth every day for a couple weeks and it was very clear that she was really into me. Eventually she asked if I'd rather talk on phone than just text, and I reluctantly agreed. It turned out great though, and we actually ended up talking for literally 7 hours the first time I called her. Then every single day from then on, without fail, we'd talk for hours. Sometimes she'd call me as soon as she got up to talk, and then again before she would go to bed. She was always talking about how great it was to have me in her life and how much it sucks that I live so far away. So we decided to meet up again for another party (I guess party is a relative term, which for me generally means sitting around smoking weed and tripping balls for a weekend) at my old roommate's house which happens to be almost exactly the halfway point between where me and her live so it worked out great, my friend even hooked me up with one of their bedrooms so we could have some alone time together while we were there. Again we met up and had a fucking awesome time together even though it was a very short time (she got there early in the day, spent the night, and then left really late the next day). We actually didn't end up having sex, I went down on her for what felt like an hour (I was coming down off some mushrooms again so my concept of time was kinda off). Afterward that we went out for a cigarette and we got back to bed she passed out almost immediately. I was a little angry that she didn't return the favor, but I got over it because it really wasn't a big deal. We spent the whole next day together which really just consisted of cuddling up and smoking bowls literally all day until she left.
We continued talking on the phone every day and everything is going fine. We were trying to find another time I could come to see her at her house so we could be together just me and her and not have to worry about being at somebody else's place for once, and St Patricks Day ended up working out really great for both of us. Somewhere along the way I asked her if she wanted a relationship because we hadn't really talked about it before and she said it would be better to talk about when I came to see her, although she did mention that she was hoping to be single for a good while after coming off a bad relationship (this was before we even met), however she did say that I might make her change her mind about that. That was an immediate red flag for me and got me thinking really hard for awhile if this is something I should even continue pursuing because I've heard that exact same thing before and it turned out really bad. But eventually I just put it out of my head and continued to fall for this girl. Fast forward a little bit to when I'm coming to see her and everything seems great, on my side at least.
My trip down there already kinda started off poorly when a bad situation at work ended up having her work almost the entire weekend that I was supposed to come down there, but I had already made other plans and I really couldn't wait any longer to see her so we just decided to make do with what we got. This is where I just get totally lost. I get there and something changed. First off, it was a 5 hour drive there and I didn't make it until almost midnight because she had to work late. We went over to her friends house and chilled there until very late and then went back to her place and passed out. She then had to work a 10 hour shift the next day, so I drove down to my friends house that we partied at for new years and chilled there all day until she got off and I drove back up to see her again. Now I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't really want me there. It's hard to explain, but there was a very obvious difference in how she looked at me, talked to me, everything. All out of fucking nowhere. At the time I just chalked it up to her being exhausted from work. Also, for the last two months she basically couldn't go a day without talking about how bad she wanted to fuck me. It never stopped, at points I felt like sex was the only thing she wanted to talk about, but obviously I'm cool with that. She would always say how bad she wished I was there in her bed and all the nasty shit she wanted to do to me ALL THE TIME. So I really had my hopes up about that as it has been a good while since I've had some good sex. The first two nights I can understand nothing happening because I know how drained you feel after working literally the entire day, so I didn't think anything of it.
Well now here we are the last night I'm going to be there. We were out again most of the day with some of her friends just chilling and got back to her place sometime around midnight. I figured since this is what we had talked about almost daily for so long, we'd have some sexy times. Well there I am in her bed just like she had talked about all the time. I tried to get her to come lay down with me but she just laughed and called me a dork (which is something she says all the time, because well...I am a dork). She then sat on at the computer on the other side of the room and played on facebook for literally an hour and a half while I just lay there in her bed waiting. She wouldn't even look at me and didn't say a word pretty much the whole time. I don't know if I've ever felt so shitty about myself in my life. Then when she finally came to bed all she said was "scoot over" and then laid down facing the other way. I swear she paid her cats more attention than me while I was there, the guy who she talked to daily for months and just drove 5 hours to see here. Rightfully or not, I was fucking pissed. I honestly wanted to just get up and leave in the middle of the night, but I figured that would be a pretty bad idea. So I just tried my best to fall asleep but I had no luck. Eventually I got over it and blamed myself, which I'm sure I did something stupid to ruin it. I don't really know, it pretty much shot down whatever big of self confidence I had left. We pretty much got up and went right back over to her friends house (which was cool, because I semi know her friends and they are cool as fuck) and chilled there for a couple hours until she had to work and I had to leave and get back home for school the next day. So we said our goodbyes and I left. And even after all that, I was still really sad to go.
What I really wanted out of my time seeing her was to just hang out just me and her but we hardly spent any time alone, and when we did it felt like she couldn't care less that I was there at all. Even when we were with her friends she hardly talked to me at all. It just kills me to feel so ignored. I really, really like this girl and I have no idea what the fuck happened. Now I've not heard from her except for one text since I left. So we talked every day for months and everything was just perfect, then I come to see her and she acts totally different towards me, and now she isn't talking to me. What am I supposed to make of all this? Am I just being crazy? I really just want to know what I did wrong but I can't bring myself to ask her because confrontation kinda scares the shit out of me, I can't help it. So any kind of input and what I should do next or maybe some insight as to what may have gone wrong would be nice, I'm kinda losing my mind over here. I had a great thing going and now it is falling apart and I have no idea why. And even if you don't wish to reply, thanks for reading this far.
I would say just talk to her. Maybe she was looking for you to be more aggressive? I don't know. When my boyfriend and I used to hook up he was super aggressive. I dig that. But then after we got comfortable with each other he would be like all mellow. We would be in bed just... Cruising. Weird right? But I don't know, I'm just not the type of person. Even after two years (unless I'm drunk)- I can't be like hey. So I can kind of can relate. Especially if she's so sexually with you over the phone. I guarantee she's like asking her friend why you weren't more aggressive, especially since she was so obviously she wanted to bone you.
