Well, I relapsed for the first time :(

[shady4091]

What a terrible feeling. I made it 2 weeks clean from a one year long poppy seed tea addiction and today I gave in. The whole nine yards. Lying, deceit and hurting the people I love. I lied to my girlfriend about it but I could tell she knew so I came clean. It was a really bad scene. She totally flipped out, as if I didn't feel bad enough already, but I do understand. A lie is a lie right? Or is it, in this case? She's never had a real true blue addiction and I feel like she doesn't understand what it's like. I'm not TRYING to hurt anyone, it's just so damn hard to wake up in misery every single day knowing I could easily remedy myself. Like a severe depression that can be fixed so quickly, the urge is just overwhelming. I don't know what's going to happen between us but I guess all I can do is dust myself off and try again. Least I don't have to withdrawal again. Peace everyone.

 

[sid3]

Sounds like the lie triggered the flip out more than the relapse. Good news is that you aren't likely to experience wds like two weeks ago. Your probably on thin ice while she's still pissed. Tread carefully so not to make matters worse. Yep, dust yourself off and try again.

 

[NoPromiseMade]

She flipped out because she cares about you, I threw (read THREW) away a three year long relationship because of opiates. Towards the end she didnt believe a single thing I said and I didnt give a shit. Keep the things that are actually good for you closer than the things that make you feel better. It sounds sad but life wasnt meant for everyone to be happy all the time. If it was the earth would consist of a giant poppy field communally tended by the worlds population of junkies.

 

[Bojangles69]

If you're girlfriend had any idea what paws was she prob would have more sympathy and less overall bullshit for you.
But seriously, you just recovered from a one year PT habit, explain to her what paws is and if shes not willing to listen then fuck her. I'm sorry but the last thing you need in that situation (whether she loves you or not) is a girl flipping out on you who has no idea what its like to get off opiates.
I made it 23 days off poppy pods (18 month addiction) and relapsed. Its definitely not easy as the paws can make it impossible to function even months after being clean. I absolutely suggest staying clean though, and its ok to mess up once here and there, but try to NEVER mess up 2 days consistently in a row. That will ALWAYS usually take me back into active addiction. G/luck!

 

[Mafioso]

don't blame this on her not understanding what its like to have a full blown addiction. the only reason you understand that is because of mistakes you made in your life, so her not knowing what its like is not a problem. if she is unwilling to listen to you and sympathize, thats a different thing, but it sounds like she cares enough to stick around and try to help you through this. think of it this way- you are driving a car down a road, you get distracted and start playing with the radio. the car slowly swerves onto the sidewalk and hits a pedestrian. now you weren't trying to hurt anyone, but you weren't taking action to NOT hurt people. sometimes it doesn't matter what you were trying to do, but what you did.

each day is a new day man. take it slow, one step at a time. if you fall down, get up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.

 

[b4rd]

Yea matey, seems like she just cares about you. Talk to her