Well, hello, im what you call an "etard"

[LonE1]

Funny how this post got bumped from a time ago when I was in the worst state of my life.

Through therapy, and SSRI antidepressents, I was able restore my seratonin receptors, I am doing much much better now. I hope my story serves as some hope, because trust me, it was hell going through all of that. MDMA is a VERY dangerous drug, and I hope people can just know that there is hope out there, but like my drug therapist told me, It just takes time.

Thanks all

 

[LonE1]

Also want to put in that while its been easier talking to girls, I was also able to smoke weed without as much paranoia, its still not the same as it used to be.

Mdma totally puts changes on peoples weed highs. Ive seen way 2 much evidence of it. If your a big toker like I am i would suggest NOT doing alot of mdma

 

[Pinkpuff]

Even my anxiety got worse because of rolling, and I haven't even really abused it! It can cause a lot of problems. I keep it to once a month, with a few exceptions, and a few 2-3 month breaks once in a while, but doing that for more than 2 years adds up. So yes, be smart.

 

[Cpaige86]

First off, id like to say hello to everyone as this is my first post on this site. I have been using PR for years now, and id like to say im very pleased for such a caring site like this.

Anyway, ive seen alot of people talk about how they have rolled around a whopping 11 times , and how they dont see anything bad about mdma use, and this and that. Let me tell you a story about myself.

I think anyone can agree that there first time doing mdma was amazing. It was for me. I felt like it was the most incredible feeling ive ever had. Every emotional thought was brought out, every good thing was brought up in my mind...everything about everyone I was with just felt so right.

Well, with that, i joined the rave scene, and we all know where that leads you. The only thing was, I started rolling ALOT. Once a week pretty much. And not only that, sometimes I would take upwards of 8 pills a night; id roll, then pop more pills at the after party and sometimes roll harder after the party, all in good fun, and all because I didnt know any better, but all i knew is it was amazing.

Well, fast forward a year of rolling. At this point id say im maybe at around 50-60 rolls. All the sudden I noticed I was changing. I noticed I would get ansy about things, start thinking weird thoughts randomly, and would just be plain paranoid at time. I also noticed that I wasnt as sharp as I used 2 me....I used 2 be able to talk to girls like it was my skill in life, suddenly I started freezing up talking 2 girls. What the fuck?? Another thing i noticed, is when id be smoking weed, it wasnt like it used 2 be. When I used to smoke weed, I would go on my day just as sharp as I was before, thinking great thoughts and bein all "giddy" if you will. Nowadays, when i smoke weed, I sometimes get voices in my head thinking all kinds of weird shit. Its kind of hard 2 describe, but ill tell you, i absolutly hate it. So anyway I go through 2009. With this year, im happy to say i slowed down. I still rolled, but it was at the most once a month (sometimes twice), and it would be around 4 pills. I still raved, but not as much.

The worst part, is my anxiety fucking started going nuts. I dont know what it is, but im paranoid as shit now sometimes. Smoking weed amplifys it so much as well. Ive lost alot of friends because they just feel like they dont know me anymore. I feel like I dont know myself anymore. I still roll, but im way beyond losing the magic. When I roll now, I get kind of a weird stupid feeling with a strange body high (yes even on pokeballs). Its defiantly not the same feeling I fell in love with.

Alot of people seem to have this feeling that mdma is not bad for you. My oh my, can I tell you how unbelievably wrong you fucking are. I feel so alone, depressed sometimes now, as I am not the same person I used to be. I feel like a freak now sometimes (hah). The point of this is to show you that I myself, am a victom of too much mdma. I am someone who thought mdma wasnt that bad, and it proved 2 me that it was.

My only hope is for people to somehow relate, somehow give me hope; all I know is I want myself back, and these demons to leave. They really, really are a pain in the ass.

The moral is, dont dance with the devil, because it aint fun in the long run.

-payce

I really think you should stop rolling to for at least a year and stop smoking pot too especially since it makes you think weird shit. You might wanna take a vitamin C supplement and get 5-Htp, it will increase your serotonin levels and could probably balance them. Take one a day and if you do keep rolling take one before and one after

goog luck with it....

 

[Havokk]

It's funny how you explained my life ATM, From abuse of MDMA. I get really bad anxiety, thoughts and depression. I also have been experiencing different and bad weed highs ever since, and freeze when talking to women. ( used to be a piece of cake)

But hopfully I am to on the road to recovery after seeing my
Doctor and suggesting medication.

 

[LonE1]

It's funny how you explained my life ATM, From abuse of MDMA. I get really bad anxiety, thoughts and depression. I also have been experiencing different and bad weed highs ever since, and freeze when talking to women. ( used to be a piece of cake)

But hopfully I am to on the road to recovery after seeing my
Doctor and suggesting medication.

It took about 7 months of remaining clean from mdma and getting on lexapro, which helped me tremendously. Seriously a life saver....I feel like my old self again.

Im still not quite as polished as I used to be but since I quit mdma ive been seeing myself get better month by month.

I highly recommend it, The hardest part was abstaining from rolling....,many times i was with many people rolling and had to just say no.

 

[pirates_]

First off, id like to say hello to everyone as this is my first post on this site. I have been using PR for years now, and id like to say im very pleased for such a caring site like this.

Anyway, ive seen alot of people talk about how they have rolled around a whopping 11 times , and how they dont see anything bad about mdma use, and this and that. Let me tell you a story about myself.

I think anyone can agree that there first time doing mdma was amazing. It was for me. I felt like it was the most incredible feeling ive ever had. Every emotional thought was brought out, every good thing was brought up in my mind...everything about everyone I was with just felt so right.

Well, with that, i joined the rave scene, and we all know where that leads you. The only thing was, I started rolling ALOT. Once a week pretty much. And not only that, sometimes I would take upwards of 8 pills a night; id roll, then pop more pills at the after party and sometimes roll harder after the party, all in good fun, and all because I didnt know any better, but all i knew is it was amazing.

Well, fast forward a year of rolling. At this point id say im maybe at around 50-60 rolls. All the sudden I noticed I was changing. I noticed I would get ansy about things, start thinking weird thoughts randomly, and would just be plain paranoid at time. I also noticed that I wasnt as sharp as I used 2 me....I used 2 be able to talk to girls like it was my skill in life, suddenly I started freezing up talking 2 girls. What the fuck?? Another thing i noticed, is when id be smoking weed, it wasnt like it used 2 be. When I used to smoke weed, I would go on my day just as sharp as I was before, thinking great thoughts and bein all "giddy" if you will. Nowadays, when i smoke weed, I sometimes get voices in my head thinking all kinds of weird shit. Its kind of hard 2 describe, but ill tell you, i absolutly hate it. So anyway I go through 2009. With this year, im happy to say i slowed down. I still rolled, but it was at the most once a month (sometimes twice), and it would be around 4 pills. I still raved, but not as much.

The worst part, is my anxiety fucking started going nuts. I dont know what it is, but im paranoid as shit now sometimes. Smoking weed amplifys it so much as well. Ive lost alot of friends because they just feel like they dont know me anymore. I feel like I dont know myself anymore. I still roll, but im way beyond losing the magic. When I roll now, I get kind of a weird stupid feeling with a strange body high (yes even on pokeballs). Its defiantly not the same feeling I fell in love with.

Alot of people seem to have this feeling that mdma is not bad for you. My oh my, can I tell you how unbelievably wrong you fucking are. I feel so alone, depressed sometimes now, as I am not the same person I used to be. I feel like a freak now sometimes (hah). The point of this is to show you that I myself, am a victom of too much mdma. I am someone who thought mdma wasnt that bad, and it proved 2 me that it was.

My only hope is for people to somehow relate, somehow give me hope; all I know is I want myself back, and these demons to leave. They really, really are a pain in the ass.

The moral is, dont dance with the devil, because it aint fun in the long run.

-payce

I have done maybe 20 pills in the last few months(possible more) my memory is bad, i dont want to eat...and smoking tobacco...is no longer pleasurable.. i get irritated easy,and I feel very zombie like most of the time when Im not rolling...5-htp seems to help a tad bit) but I think Ima quit the xo's starting today....its just not for me(see my other post ) )

 

[somedud]

yo Lone1 id like to have a PM with you sometime man, Im going through the exact same shyt you went through, i havnt got 50 posts yet so I can send messages haha did you suffer from insomnia too?

 

[rolling_anon]

Gladly.

Long-Term Effects of "Ecstasy" Use on Serotonin Transporters of the Brain Investigated by PET

This is a graph of some of the results of this study:

Serotonin transporter density is lower than normal in current users, but normalized in former users. Therefore, serotonin recovery occurs.



That comment is absolutely outrageous. You seem to be conducting a baseless and puzzling war on MDMA, not based in evidence or facts, but in some kind of personal beef with the drug. Perhaps you're a troll or perhaps you're genuine, but mimicking debunked propaganda from the late 90's isn't going to prove your point.

Meth kills dopamine producing neurons, MDMA does not. These never regenerate. If you lose enough dopamine neurons you will get Parkinson's disease. Of course MDMA abusers will feel shitty after abusing ecstasy, the difference is that while you can heal from the damage caused by MDMA, there isn't really a whole lot you can do to heal from meth, other than stem cell therapy, which isn't plausible at the moment.

In fact, just to kill your argument completely, here is a very prestigious study done which proves you completely and utterly wrong:

The Neurotoxic Effects of 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) and Methamphetamine on Serotonin, Dopamine, and GABA-ergic Terminals

"The results showed that METH was more toxic to 5-HT terminals than MDMA in forebrain regions, including the anterior cingulate, caudate nucleus, nucleus accumbens, and septum. METH was also more toxic than MDMA to dopamine terminals in the habenula, and posterior retrosplenial cortex. Therefore, we find that METH was more toxic to 5-HT and dopamine terminals in specific brain regions in both pre and post-synaptic sites following continuous equimolar dosing."

Enough with the hearsay and word of mouth. If you are going to make outrageous and exaggerated claims, at least make them believable.

Nice post.

 

[theonex]

Plenty of people, incl myself, have went through this.

There's countlesss threads about this topic around these boards...search around for more responses+ answers

Truth is there is hope. Stop rolling, clean up your life in terms of health, diet, and exercise.

Force yourself into social situations. I too noticed an awkwardness when talking to girls following mdma-use, even though I used to have no problem. It'll come back though, just get out there and start talking

 

[tadmud]

ive heard the phrase but ive never met an e-tard, i always thought it was someone that did E so much that it made them crazy

 

[Bsiren]

I met Lone1 last week in LA (true story!) at a night club. Nice guy- he seems fine right now, but then again we conversed at a club for 10 minutes. I'm sure the months following the end of his MDMA use were very frightening.

 

[i roll balls]

I feel you, after 2 years i have similar problems. Probably ingested well over 150 pills and i was recently feeling the toll very hard.. it goes away with time though. You'll get better don't take any anti d's though that might make it worse.. going sober is definently worth it.

 

[Comfortablenumbnes]

It took about 7 months of remaining clean from mdma and getting on lexapro, which helped me tremendously. Seriously a life saver....I feel like my old self again.

Im still not quite as polished as I used to be but since I quit mdma ive been seeing myself get better month by month.

I highly recommend it, The hardest part was abstaining from rolling....,many times i was with many people rolling and had to just say no.

Glad to hear your feeling better, I can relate to a lot of what you and others have said in this thread. It's a fantastic drug but it needs to be treated with the upmost respect, i.e an occassional treat with no heroic doses.

 

[foxyloxy55]

Those symptoms will pass with time away from drugs. Really. Many of us have been there. The anxiety kicks in bad when you stop, but subsides. Find a hobby and good luck!

 

[Wadsworth]

If you already have an underlying/dormant/pre-existing case of Schizophrenia, MDMA can help surface it. That's honestly what sounds like is happening to you to me, and what happened to my boyfriend.

Really though, anything, even good things, in excess is BAD for you. MDMA included.

Edit: And I agree with others that say you should probably just stop consuming drugs at all. Even weed can provoke Schizophrenic behavior if it's already a condition you have.

 

[F1n1shed]

I haven't posted here for a while, and my last post was retarded sorry. I think Bben is trying to get the point across which i strongly believe in as well is, with mdma it is NOT only abuse that can cause problems to surface quickly. It is moderate use as well, as in taking months in between. The most frequent use i had was rolling for about a year and a half, and taking 1 month and a half - 3 month breaks i between usage. And i would consider that responsible usage comparing to some of you guys on this site, actually very responsible comparing to some of you guys.
My point being is that even with moderate usage, and using clean tested pills i still suffered from mood problems and a new anxiety was introduced to me Especially when smoking weed. As lone1 was saying i have been smoking weed for a long time and only AFTER mdma use my weed highs turned to shit, negative thoughts, anxiety ,even with close friends. This MUST be related to the chemical imbalance mdma gives you, and then introducing weed to that mix makes you have shitty highs.
Although some of bbens posts can be exaggerated he is definitely right in saying that it doesn't take much use of mdma to cause problems to arise for people. And who knows some of these people who claim that mdma isn't causing them any problems on this site could be on benzo's and SSRI's which is very possible. Those people absolutely don't count, because they are masked by other drugs which isn't letting them see the true negative effects of mdma.
I use to be right there with bbeen on how damaging mdma is, but after leaving it alone for at least 6 months i noticed changes were made and things were getting better. I now think the only way to use mdma responsibly is having minimum 3 month breaks in between, guys this is a very powerful and straining drug on your brain. Some people just don't realize that on this website, and want to blindly believe that with 1 month breaks in between usage no damage will occur...

 

[DynoSpec]

ive been doing mdma for about 6.5 years, and there were a few patches when i did way too much and it started to impact my life and not be nearly as fun. after a serious binge i stopped entirely for a little over a year and it brought it back entirely. now i roll at most twice a month and it has been pretty stable for about a year and a half. just take a long break and then moderate your usage.

 

[gorillathunder]

I haven't posted here for a while, and my last post was retarded sorry. I think Bben is trying to get the point across which i strongly believe in as well is, with mdma it is NOT only abuse that can cause problems to surface quickly. It is moderate use as well, as in taking months in between. The most frequent use i had was rolling for about a year and a half, and taking 1 month and a half - 3 month breaks i between usage. And i would consider that responsible usage comparing to some of you guys on this site, actually very responsible comparing to some of you guys.
My point being is that even with moderate usage, and using clean tested pills i still suffered from mood problems and a new anxiety was introduced to me Especially when smoking weed. As lone1 was saying i have been smoking weed for a long time and only AFTER mdma use my weed highs turned to shit, negative thoughts, anxiety ,even with close friends. This MUST be related to the chemical imbalance mdma gives you, and then introducing weed to that mix makes you have shitty highs.
Although some of bbens posts can be exaggerated he is definitely right in saying that it doesn't take much use of mdma to cause problems to arise for people. And who knows some of these people who claim that mdma isn't causing them any problems on this site could be on benzo's and SSRI's which is very possible. Those people absolutely don't count, because they are masked by other drugs which isn't letting them see the true negative effects of mdma.
I use to be right there with bbeen on how damaging mdma is, but after leaving it alone for at least 6 months i noticed changes were made and things were getting better. I now think the only way to use mdma responsibly is having minimum 3 month breaks in between, guys this is a very powerful and straining drug on your brain. Some people just don't realize that on this website, and want to blindly believe that with 1 month breaks in between usage no damage will occur...

So are you F1n1shed? I haven't been responsible in my irresponsible drug usage these past two months. (Halloween 1) (BT 1) (Cousin's friends apartment sucked so bad, 5) (Cosmic Gate 4) (NYE ?)

After those terrible (yellow pills, Utah PR) I was really messed up on an anxiety, mood, restlessness level. I had get an ativan from my doc to try and calm down. I'm not sure if the MDMA ruining weed for people is a direct connection but actually the MDMA aftereffects make a person anxious, upset and when they smoke weed those feelings are amplified. That's what I have felt, especially after those NASTY yellow pills that everyone here said were dank.