Welcome Back Carter...

Dear Bluelight,

I am alive. Bored, but alive. I am sane again, and am doing as well as expected.

Finally, I am getting new glasses and will begin driving again. Florida is ridiculously docile as far as night life goes. Don't want to wake grandma... And you can't get anywhere without a car. I miss Boulder, immensely. I miss the parties, The Beta (my stomping grounds of glamor), and the over-all relaxed and considerate nature of my friends and comrades.

I am uncertain to whether it is the sun, the water, the limestone, or other explanation to which the social nature of Floridian folks is down right retarded. I have had few intellectually challenging conversations outside of my mother (a member of Mensa) and a few polka dotted occurrences at random.

I am a bit of a prisoner at my parents home. No where to go, to be, and lackage of transportational opportunity (one car 4 people). I have one friend, locally, which when he has off from work we get f00bared on oc, roxy, ish or whatever.. decent, but not sustainable nor something i do every week. Projectile vomit from over-doing it has be noted, and should be avoided. I am not one that likes to stealth vomit, nor explain why the washer is running at 4 in the morning. Thankfully, there are lots of canals, and make excellent puking receptacles. Temporary temperance to my bordem, hopefully my financial aid appeal will be approved so I can continue my degrees in january. I am not certain what I would do if I am not approved...This deeply concerns me, as I have learned much, gained perspective and numerous insight to the last two years.

All I got is time on my hands, which lends itself to heaviness of thoughts, and realizing my sadness. Tons of self criticism and seeing how I could have avoided my mistakes or not... you know what I mean.

I really need positive things in my life right now, and pray my 2 page Reinstate-me requiem, ergo; I am way more awesome now and have my shit together and wont screw up again because I am no longer in a messy relationship and finally have a plan while actually growing the fuck up -paper to the appeals board is approved
 
I missed blogs od, I still got your number in an old phone somewhere-- and ill hit you up once i find the charger for it... How are you doing? I know things were a bit rough before, I suppose ill have to brief myself via zee blog my fine friend... Glad to have a warm welcome from you.
 
moving back in with parents sucks, i have had to do it twice in between moves. the hardest part was trying to get them to realize i am an adult without the lectures that someone my age should be independent.

i've also found most school are willing to work with you if you put forth the effort. they would rather have your money than not have your money...
 
hey a_c!!
At times it rehashes some repressed emotions. My folks and I are cool, they let me do my own thing, give me money, and are like friends in a way. My mother and I are rather close, but she gives me space and rarely asks "too many" questions.
My father is in a wheel chair and on very heavy medication for a deteriorating spine... so hes out there often in his own silly world. Probably the most annoying is my older brother whom is untreated for his aspergers autism...

So life is OK around them, but I am extremely independent. It is challenging to face this "nothing to do". Hence today turning to bluelight. heh

Thanks for the words of encouragement concerning my financial aid, I hope it is true. I want to complete an AAS, a BS, and BA by the time I am 30... I am feeling a grind of my life moving at ultra slow speeds.. not really waiting but rather this insistent "baby stepping".
 
Hi WV- glad to see you back. I was wondering what was up.

I never used to think of idleness as being a bad thing, until I spent a year unemployed after getting my degree. My heart goes out to you, and I hope that you'll be able to find stuff to do until you go back to school. Personally, I found walks with my camera to be a good diversion, especially with the change of seasons and all.
 
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