My day-to-day life is pretty mundane really
Unexpected encounters such as just-now when I'd ordinarily have been asleep, keep me alive
I'm in my bedroom, noisy fan combatting the uncharacteristic English Summer night heat (oh wella wella) & obliterating external noise
It's after midnight, but I think I hear a knocking on my house somewhere
Turn off the fan to hear better
Hear 'Hello?' from outside
I call 'Hello' back from inside the bedroom with small window open & curtains closed, thinking the hello probably isn't intended for me but I'll answer in case it is (fortunately I've gone beyond the paranoid jitters phase of the evening & have graduated to the chilled, pissed, sleepsoon zone)
Turns out the 'Hello' person (male, late teen) was trying to get my (or person in my house) attention
I open the upstairs bedroom window & lean out (am wearing vest top that I literally changed into minutes before, out of industrial-strength sports bra
I have no idea now I think about it, what was displayed in the window-leaning)
Bike abandoned at the bottom of my front garden
Young man calling at the top
Do you have a cat?
'Yes, I have two, why?'
'Have you seen them recently cos I just saw a fox fighting some cats in the park & one of them was injured'
I know I've seen one of them five minutes ago because I went to the toilet & he gave me the shock of my life lying on the toilet lid when I walked in & then let me hold & talk to him for more than 10 seconds when I lifted him off, which is very unusual
I look to my left & see the other cat, lying on my neighbours' steps, which is her favourite spot & tell him that my other cat is here too, feel selfishly I'm alright jack & quiz him on his experience & am incredulous that a fox attacked a cat in the park in front of him, asking him if he's sure it wasn't a dog?
'No, it was red & about this big' measuring in the air with his hands
I laugh out of the window & he says, 'I know I know, teenager knocking on your door in the middle of the night, but I haven't smoked anything or taken anything, & the bloke at the house over there told me to fuck off cos he had kids asleep, but I'm just really worried that someone's cat is badly injured & I want them to know'
I feel mean now, laughing & say 'oh bless you' patronisingly a few times
I asked what the cat attacked looked like & he says 'tiger stripes'
Then
'Do you remember me?'
Sudden realisation
'Oh, you spoke to me when I was mowing the garden the other day?'
Yes
(You're the little fucker stood right by my house with phone in hand while I was sweatily strimming & burning my skin on the bits I couldn't reach with the Factor 50 , who I was worried would nip in the house with open front door due to extension lead running out & when you became aware that I knew, engaged me in middle-class polite-boy conversation, phone in hand throughout)
I advise him to go home & not worry about it & the injured tiger-striped cat will probably go home to its owners & they'll be able to sort it out
I truly want to believe that he is good people & I'm a mean, cynical bitch but I have a horrible feeling I'm going to feature in some fucked-up mad cat lady You tube video
Unexpected encounters such as just-now when I'd ordinarily have been asleep, keep me alive
I'm in my bedroom, noisy fan combatting the uncharacteristic English Summer night heat (oh wella wella) & obliterating external noise
It's after midnight, but I think I hear a knocking on my house somewhere
Turn off the fan to hear better
Hear 'Hello?' from outside
I call 'Hello' back from inside the bedroom with small window open & curtains closed, thinking the hello probably isn't intended for me but I'll answer in case it is (fortunately I've gone beyond the paranoid jitters phase of the evening & have graduated to the chilled, pissed, sleepsoon zone)
Turns out the 'Hello' person (male, late teen) was trying to get my (or person in my house) attention
I open the upstairs bedroom window & lean out (am wearing vest top that I literally changed into minutes before, out of industrial-strength sports bra
I have no idea now I think about it, what was displayed in the window-leaning)
Bike abandoned at the bottom of my front garden
Young man calling at the top
Do you have a cat?
'Yes, I have two, why?'
'Have you seen them recently cos I just saw a fox fighting some cats in the park & one of them was injured'
I know I've seen one of them five minutes ago because I went to the toilet & he gave me the shock of my life lying on the toilet lid when I walked in & then let me hold & talk to him for more than 10 seconds when I lifted him off, which is very unusual
I look to my left & see the other cat, lying on my neighbours' steps, which is her favourite spot & tell him that my other cat is here too, feel selfishly I'm alright jack & quiz him on his experience & am incredulous that a fox attacked a cat in the park in front of him, asking him if he's sure it wasn't a dog?
'No, it was red & about this big' measuring in the air with his hands
I laugh out of the window & he says, 'I know I know, teenager knocking on your door in the middle of the night, but I haven't smoked anything or taken anything, & the bloke at the house over there told me to fuck off cos he had kids asleep, but I'm just really worried that someone's cat is badly injured & I want them to know'
I feel mean now, laughing & say 'oh bless you' patronisingly a few times
I asked what the cat attacked looked like & he says 'tiger stripes'
Then
'Do you remember me?'
Sudden realisation
'Oh, you spoke to me when I was mowing the garden the other day?'
Yes
(You're the little fucker stood right by my house with phone in hand while I was sweatily strimming & burning my skin on the bits I couldn't reach with the Factor 50 , who I was worried would nip in the house with open front door due to extension lead running out & when you became aware that I knew, engaged me in middle-class polite-boy conversation, phone in hand throughout)
I advise him to go home & not worry about it & the injured tiger-striped cat will probably go home to its owners & they'll be able to sort it out
I truly want to believe that he is good people & I'm a mean, cynical bitch but I have a horrible feeling I'm going to feature in some fucked-up mad cat lady You tube video
