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Weird after effects

M

markit8dude

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 30, 2013
Messages
8
Let me start off by saying that I've researched all my symptoms etc and theyve all reached threads on here that has encouraged me to make my own, you guys seem to know what you're talking about.

I've been quite the idiot, I'm 19 and began experimenting recklessly without concerning any consequences at around march with mdma. I used it a couple of times fine until june when I tried a tab of lsd and had a very agitated trip

Here's where things get weird after my comedown for the next 2 and a half weeks I exprienced extreme paranoia and anxiety so much so I had suicidal thoughts. Somehow afte getting a little better I took ecstasy (poor idiot mistake I hate myself for) it came back and I had derealization lack of focus anxiety and generally couldn't cope. A week later I'm still recovering each day getting better than the last my father a previous drug user has assured me I'll be right as rain however whilst the anxiety has calmed down I now have new symptoms of being easily distracted, unable to focus, unable to comprehend, foggy brain and feelings my brain isn't as sharp as it usually is. I'm hoping this subsides too, but Id like to hear your opinions because I'm quite fragile and distressed. I also hae trouble sleeping and vivid dreams/weird thoughts.
Is it possible my brain is just suffering from all the over thinking I did with the anxiety?

I should also say I won't be taking anymore drugs at all.
 
I'm trying hard but its difficult when you can't control your feelings/focus.

Can I move this thread to somewhere more suiting?
 
you will be okay, this isn't going to last foroever, you said yourself every day you will become more like your old self

here are some things you can do to speed your recovery

1 ) eat healthy food
2 ) supplement with chellated magnesium (dose morning and night) and fish oil
3 ) get outside, try get 1 hour of sunlight a day if you can
4 ) 30 minutes - 1 hour of cardio exercise a day (running/swimming/sports)
5 ) keep yourself busy with things to do so you are not left panicking over your own thoughts
6 ) abstain from all drugs including alcohol for a couple of months
7 ) make sure you are getting 8+ hours of sleep each night
8 ) mindfulness meditation is a great way to incorporate calmness/relaxation into your day
 
Thanks I've been thinking of taking fish oil for a little while now and am beginning to look into mindfulness.

The only thing that bothers me is I feel like nobody wants to help me because essentially I did this to myself. :( if only I could turn back time.
 
if you look at it in a certain light it can be a positive thing that this happened, because you can learn from it so that it doesn't happen again

i'm not sure what outside help you feel you are obligated to receive, because i think you are the only one who can help yourself get out of this situation, and thats good as well because you are in control of your own actions

if it helps at all i feel very alone as well in this world but i know that it is completely within my own power for me to be able to accept myself so that others can start to love me as well

do you see a family doctor or something regularly, i think if you try and get a prescription for 25mg seroquel that could help with sleep and mild anxiety issues short term, it has no side effects at the right low dose and you take it an hour before you want to sleep and it really helps with insomnia, and the next day i find it helps to lessen my general anxiety. you dont want to take it every night for weeks on end though because once you rely upon it to sleep it isn't as effective, and when you stop taking it, it becomes harder than before to fall asleep
 
I've actually been able to sleep a lot better now.

I think I'm confused and upset with myself as I don't know how to forgive myself and feel as though I've let everyone down and that no one will want to assosciate with me. It feels like past me is a girl I don't even know.

I told my parents and they are understandably disappointed I don't think they'll ever love me/see me the same again. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to escape from this mistake. At the time I was young, niave and didn't think at all. I find it hard to cope with the fact I've not only did this to myself but hurt others in the process. I need to accept it but all I want to do is fight it.
 
try not to be too hard on yourself, we are all human and we all are imperfect and make mistakes

take it from me that your mishap will be a lot easier to come back from in comparison to some of my mistakes, you even avoided hospital!
i'm sure that if you continue to be yourself and grow as a person your parents will show their love for you (although i'm sure they love you now but they are probably still in a bit of shock/ you have lost some trust) and you will be able to win their trust back through time

i know really fucked up trips can be truly traumatic, but try not to give too much importance to what has happened to you in the past because worrying about that stuff doesn't solve anything and it holds you back

i hope you start feeling happy and better soon :)
 
Thank you so much for your help and support.
I am probably putting too much importance on this. I just have to realize I am a lot better off now.
 
Lately I have been experiencing the same problems as yours due to a bad trip from e. It's been a month since that happened and I know how it feels. My brain/feelings still feels kinda foggy and isn't like its normal self but I know it will get better in time. So as yours. I think MDMA just messed up the serotonin levels of our brain. I constantly feel better each day and I plan to start doing cardio and getting a healthy diet. I think you should do the same. What we are going through is hard but it's not gonna stay forever. Just give it time and it will pass. We will regain our 100% self back, just stay positive. <3

P.S: Everytime anxiety hits you think of this "Fuck u brain ur getting scared as shit again" and think that it's just happening because of the drugs and it will eventually go away. I wish the best of luck to you my friend. :)
 
markit8dude said:
I think I'm confused and upset with myself as I don't know how to forgive myself and feel as though I've let everyone down and that no one will want to assosciate with me. It feels like past me is a girl I don't even know.
Click to expand...

One thing that can open the door to forgiving yourself is to stand back and look at the situation from the outside--pretend like you are your best friend. Is judging this friend going to help? Is telling them over and over again that they "did this to themselves" going to help? Acceptance of what you did and creating a safe space to try and understand why you did it (Boredom? Curiosity? A need for acceptance? Simply wanting to feel good?) is something that you would presumably try to give to a friend. Try to give that to yourself.

I told my parents and they are understandably disappointed I don't think they'll ever love me/see me the same again. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to escape from this mistake. At the time I was young, niave and didn't think at all. I find it hard to cope with the fact I've not only did this to myself but hurt others in the process. I need to accept it but all I want to do is fight it.
Click to expand...

You said that your father was a drug user. I would think that he could also remember his reasons for using drugs. It may seem that they are judging you when in fact they are simply scared. Seeing you anxious and unsettled makes them anxious and unsettled. Maybe the best thing to do is to examine the anxiety not as a result of drug use but just as anxiety. By blaming yourself for "doing this to yourself" you are focusing everything on the drugs when in fact the drugs could have brought to light deeper issues. Is there any possibility that you could go speak with a counselor?

Lastly, I am a mother and I can tell you that no disappointment can ever make you love your child less. Disappointment in a choice they made, disappointment that they did not live up to their upbringing or their own values--those are disappointments about behavior. I'm sure that you have been disappointed in your parent's behavior at times, right? It doesn't make your love one iota less! Keep communicating honestly and ask the same of them.

I hope you're doing better today.<3
 
Thanks Herbavor that was really reassuring. One month on now and Im doing much better. I dont get anxiety anymore but my thoughts are still occasionally foggy and scrambled the same as yours jelly. I feel like in another two months everything will be ok again. Id like to speak with a therapist but I don't want to put that stigma on my family
 
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