Weed doesn't do this to other people. Why does it do it to me?

[queenscarlet88]

When I smoke middies I feel fine. A little slow, a little stupid, but also chilled-out.

When I smoke good weed ...

I am walking along and suddenly there is a feeling of opening inside my skull, a physical sensation. And I begin to hear voices. Some of these voices are benign, even actively benevolent. They love me, they are friends and guardians and gurus.

Others hate me. One in particular I mean. It wants a capillary to burst in my head. It wants my heart to beat and beat and beat until it explodes. It wants me to fall over dead. I don't know why it wants me to die. It holds me in contempt and disgust.

Obviously, these voices are all part of me. They were first revealed to me when I mixed acid and weed, and since then, they have returned when I smoke really good weed. Last night I smoked a SINGLE NUGGET of weed which was sold to me as "dro" (hydroponically grown, I'm assuming). My God, the weed smelled and looked delectable. And a single nugget did this to me:

I was walking and the buzzing of the powerlines was eating my skull. It was disintegrating my thoughts. And I realized the voice that hates me is the fault of the powerlines. The powerlines have been laid all over the place, everywhere to render us docile, to create voices of self-hatred, to render humans depressed and bipolar and all the rest. Furthermore, my boyfriend wants to gut me with a knife or shoot me with a gun or throw me off a fucking bridge. My boyfriend wants to shoot me in the fucking head.

As I type all this out it seems ridiculous. But at the time, with the voices cackling and shouting in my head, with the powerlines buzzing and buzzing and buzzing everywhere I went, it seemed absolutely rational. There is an infinite matrix of further subtext and inference and delusion I could relate about what I came to believe last night, which by light of morning seems ridiculous, but which I CANNOT fully discard because it felt so much more REAL than anything happening in so-called real, sober life.

Bottom line being: on weed, I hear voices. I come to believe in malevolent entities and impending death. I feel a sense of the utmost looming doom and of being loathed and of being worthless.

Why doesn't really good weed just chill me out really well the way it does to others?

 

[Jibult]

Bottom line being: on weed, I hear voices. I come to believe in malevolent entities and impending death. I feel a sense of the utmost looming doom and of being loathed and of being worthless.

Why doesn't really good weed just chill me out really well the way it does to others?

Honestly, I can't answer your question directly or completely, but if all that's 100% true then you have a latent psychological disorder.

Even if you refrain from smoking "really good weed" and just smoke midgrade and lower, I'd still recommend you go see a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I'm not saying you're completely batshit crazy, but if you do have some kind of predisposition to schizophrenia (just an example) it'd be better to catch it before you start having full-blown psychotic episodes.

Hell, it's even possible that as long as you don't smoke weed or use any hallucinogens/psychedelics you'll never be bothered by the problem again. The problem is that that might not hold true, and, when it comes to a persons mental health, it's always best to err on the side of caution.



Sorry that I just have advice and not a definitive answer to your question.

 

[queenscarlet88]

Yeah, the "schizo" possibility has occurred to me. I don't think I started out with very much of a psychological issue at all, but then I tripped on DXM over and over and everything changed. I stopped eating and sleeping and, looking back, I am appalled at how narrow my perception had become, leading to outright social disgrace because I didn't pick up on commonplace social signals. I think I was probably manic, whereas previously I'd only ever been depressed.

(This lasted for about thirteen weeks, the ten during which I was tripping twice-weekly and then for three straight weeks after I'd quit, before finally abating. I have been back to normal since then, thankfully. Well, until the acid.)

And then acid + weed brought anxiety attacks and that bizarre hearing voices shit. Maybe I never should have tried drugs in the first place. But by God, when things on drugs go RIGHT, they go SO RIGHT! :D

And yeah, everything is 100% true. I wish I had exaggerated. But really I minimized certain aspects, because I didn't want to ramble on and on. The reality of what happened was far more horrifying. I just laid out a general sketch.

 

[Jibult]

And then acid and weed brought anxiety and that bizarre hearing voices shit. Maybe I never should have tried drugs in the first place. But by God, when things on drugs go RIGHT, they go SO RIGHT! :D

Haha, I know what you mean. And you've done what you've done, no sense in kicking yourself in the ass for things you've done in the past that can't be changed in the present.

At the very least, though, I would avoid LSD, mescaline, mushrooms etc. like they were the plague if I were you. Even if most of the voices are happy and make you feel good, it's not normal or good to be hearing voices that don't exist-- and it's even worse to listen to them to the point where it actually has an effect on your mood.

 

[The Winner!!]

Similar Experience!

This is my experience of going crazy

First, I havn't had anything like this from acid, mushrooms or anything but when I had gone 30 hours without sleep in a harsh time in my life recently, I was also taking abit of dxm for my cold every 15 minutes.

So when I went to smoke some weed before I went to sleep, I started having huge tracers which I was like yeah whatever, I was going crazy before smoking the weed and now I was relaxed.

But when I tried to go to sleep I started hearing other peoples voices from the television and it was coming straight from my head it sounded like, then I would hallucinate people right beside me of the voices I was hearing and they would be talking to me and looking at me out of my peripheral vision.

Mind you at this time I was having CRAZY VISUALS, much more fast paced than acid, but much less complex. Things were flashing and going all over the place, and out of these patterns in my peripheral there were the people I was hearing saying crazy shit.

So basically I kept thinking people were talking to me (saying shit like your dying your dying your dead in a sinister voice) also I was able to use all 5 senses at the same time to full capacity, that was strange, so before all the badness happened which was around 30 mins in after enjoying it- I turned on this sinister music inside of my head and made it play 24/7 but I couldn't make it stop after awhile, it was the quiet part of the prophecy anthem.

I kept thinking people were spying on me, and I came to this total realization in my head that there is government people inside of your monitor and t.v and are staring at you whenever your looking away lol. At one point lying down going to sleep I came to the realization I was in hell, my grandma in my head and "sitting beside me" was yelling i want you dead i want you dead in an evil voice and there was crazy demonic visuals...

 

[queenscarlet88]

I turned on this sinister music inside of my head and made it play 24/7 but I couldn't make it stop after awhile, it was the quiet part of the prophecy anthem.

I kept thinking people were spying on me, and I came to this total realization in my head that there is government people inside of your monitor and t.v and are staring at you whenever your looking away lol. At one point lying down going to sleep I came to the realization I was in hell, my grandma in my head and "sitting beside me" was yelling i want you dead i want you dead in an evil voice and there was crazy demonic visuals...

HOLY SHIT I am sitting here reading this and all the hairs on my body are standing straight up and I am tingling all over because what you are describing sounds like it had the EXACT same texture as my bad trips.

The "sinister music inside of my head," "the prophecy anthem," "total realization" -- your skill with words is breathtaking. You are putting into words the all-devouring sensations which I have struggled to express.

Thank you thank you thank you for commenting. I don't feel alone anymore.

"The badness" -- that is a perfect way to describe the sudden skew the world takes on, the subtle but total shift from benign to malevolent that every event and every surrounding takes on.

 

[The Winner!!]

It was the single most frightening event in my life, it was only a couple days ago and I'm wondering why it happened, I guess it just proves that weed can be a strong psychedelic and not to take it so lightly for set&setting, I had just gotten back from no sleep for 30 hours from, "leaving" my mom for what is now goinna be a year, and I probably had 250mg dxm in my from the whole day and I was going pretty crazy.

I guess I shouldn't have just been like, 'yeah i'll smoke 2 joints and get pretty high and fall asleep' in the state I was in..

 

[queenscarlet88]

I've mixed DXM and weed -- I remember laughing and laughing with spittle flying with this blistering pleasure in my head. I tried multiple times to replicate the experience, but -- you know, I can't remember most of what happened while I was on DXM. What a waste, right? If I'm going to heap intense abuse on my body, I'd damn well better remember the positive sensations accompanying that abuse!

So it hasn't recurred, for you? If so, I'll be very encouraged, because it will mean that maybe I can overcome this shit and enjoy weed again. I mean, it's not like any of this is actually dangerous to me. It's all in my head!

Oh shit, just re-read your post and saw the "couple of days ago" part. I have to warn you, then: this has happened to me over and over since that first time. It seemed to stop for a while, but came back full force yesterday.

I advise you to never abuse DXM again. Even if you had a cold, 250mg is never a medically justified quantity. That shit is HARD on the body. DXM abuse caused poison ivy to re-emerge all over my body, six months after I'd last suffered from it. I was covered in oozing bleeding sores for months and even steroids didn't make them go away. Finally they healed but I remain scarred, purple circular scars all over my body. This means the DXM (or maybe the lack of sleep and food which coincided with it) wore my body and immune system down to the point that it could no longer keep the poison ivy at bay.

 

[The Winner!!]

Well, were you in a bad condition at the time mentally or physically? Was it just a normal little smoke of weed? Because it might be a mental dissorder, for me I know there is schizophrenia and manic depression and bipolar running in my family, but I havn't seemed to go crazy from acid or any psychedelic I've done, but from this time I smoked weed after being sleep deprived and with my case of HPPD, hppd+sleep deprivation there is quite alot of visual disturbance going on and I kept on thinking there was people creeping up cause shadows would come out at me and shit.

So I was going sorta crazy beforehand, since those couple of days I've blazed like 15 joints or so and I havn't had any troubles, just strong visuals like I always get from weed.

 

[queenscarlet88]

Right now I'm functioning quite well and I just smoked a small bowl -- more than I smoked yesterday.

Maybe getting too high and hallucinating voices, violent entities, etc. stem from low tolerance + exceptional bud. Exceptional bud is probably fine after even a day of smoking because the tolerance goes back up. Though it somewhat defeats the purpose of better bud to use it only once tolerance has elevated.

I love love love weed. Painkillers bore me, stimulants sap me, alcohol puts me totally out of control. weed.

 

[sportbikesforlife]

Yeah, the "schizo" possibility has occurred to me. I don't think I started out with very much of a psychological issue at all, but then I tripped on DXM over and over and everything changed. I stopped eating and sleeping and, looking back, I am appalled at how narrow my perception had become, leading to outright social disgrace because I didn't pick up on commonplace social signals. I think I was probably manic, whereas previously I'd only ever been depressed.

(This lasted for about thirteen weeks, the ten during which I was tripping twice-weekly and then for three straight weeks after I'd quit, before finally abating. I have been back to normal since then, thankfully. Well, until the acid.)

And then acid + weed brought anxiety attacks and that bizarre hearing voices shit. Maybe I never should have tried drugs in the first place. But by God, when things on drugs go RIGHT, they go SO RIGHT! :D

And yeah, everything is 100% true. I wish I had exaggerated. But really I minimized certain aspects, because I didn't want to ramble on and on. The reality of what happened was far more horrifying. I just laid out a general sketch.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay. Yes, you might be skitzo. Broadcast is a common sympton of that illness in which patients reported hearing a radio inside their head.. you probably liked acid too much and lack any assemblance of self control which is why you tripped on it constantly. go to california sometime and look at all the skitzo stumbling around town and mumbling to themselves or the voices inside their heads.

 

[sportbikesforlife]

When I smoke middies I feel fine. A little slow, a little stupid, but also chilled-out.

When I smoke good weed ...

I am walking along and suddenly there is a feeling of opening inside my skull, a physical sensation. And I begin to hear voices. Some of these voices are benign, even actively benevolent. They love me, they are friends and guardians and gurus.

Others hate me. One in particular I mean. It wants a capillary to burst in my head. It wants my heart to beat and beat and beat until it explodes. It wants me to fall over dead. I don't know why it wants me to die. It holds me in contempt and disgust.

Obviously, these voices are all part of me. They were first revealed to me when I mixed acid and weed, and since then, they have returned when I smoke really good weed. Last night I smoked a SINGLE NUGGET of weed which was sold to me as "dro" (hydroponically grown, I'm assuming). My God, the weed smelled and looked delectable. And a single nugget did this to me:

I was walking and the buzzing of the powerlines was eating my skull. It was disintegrating my thoughts. And I realized the voice that hates me is the fault of the powerlines. The powerlines have been laid all over the place, everywhere to render us docile, to create voices of self-hatred, to render humans depressed and bipolar and all the rest. Furthermore, my boyfriend wants to gut me with a knife or shoot me with a gun or throw me off a fucking bridge. My boyfriend wants to shoot me in the fucking head.

As I type all this out it seems ridiculous. But at the time, with the voices cackling and shouting in my head, with the powerlines buzzing and buzzing and buzzing everywhere I went, it seemed absolutely rational. There is an infinite matrix of further subtext and inference and delusion I could relate about what I came to believe last night, which by light of morning seems ridiculous, but which I CANNOT fully discard because it felt so much more REAL than anything happening in so-called real, sober life.

Bottom line being: on weed, I hear voices. I come to believe in malevolent entities and impending death. I feel a sense of the utmost looming doom and of being loathed and of being worthless.

Why doesn't really good weed just chill me out really well the way it does to others?

I can't decide if this thread is freaky....or just creepy....or plain ol scary! Where do you live dude?

 

[Feroc1ty]

I've tried DXM, weed, and alcohol, and I gotta say, it was a great mix. Can't really remember the feelings, I just remember that it was a great day. It was the first time I did DXM so I can't really explain its effects since there was alcohol and weed as well. Me and my buddy watched harold and coumar guantanamo bay or however it's spelled, it was pretty kewl, and than went outside, we went to 7/11 and i stole like the most shit ive ever stolen, and it all went smooth... had my cool face on

 

[socalrollin]

the weed is deinitely getting better and better due to medical marijuana. more and more people/patients in the u.s especially california have access to quality strains, be it clones or seeds. the technology in cannabis cultivation also plays a big role in the quality of herb now days. i actually heard recently of high quality herb causing schizophrenia and paranoia.

i can definitely say smoking the best weed out there with a low tolerance will mind fuck you!!! but not like what your experiencing, there must be an underlying ailment.

 

[Ason Unique]

I've mixed DXM and weed -- I remember laughing and laughing with spittle flying with this blistering pleasure in my head. I tried multiple times to replicate the experience, but -- you know, I can't remember most of what happened while I was on DXM. What a waste, right? If I'm going to heap intense abuse on my body, I'd damn well better remember the positive sensations accompanying that abuse!

So it hasn't recurred, for you? If so, I'll be very encouraged, because it will mean that maybe I can overcome this shit and enjoy weed again. I mean, it's not like any of this is actually dangerous to me. It's all in my head!

Oh shit, just re-read your post and saw the "couple of days ago" part. I have to warn you, then: this has happened to me over and over since that first time. It seemed to stop for a while, but came back full force yesterday.

I advise you to never abuse DXM again. Even if you had a cold, 250mg is never a medically justified quantity. That shit is HARD on the body. DXM abuse caused poison ivy to re-emerge all over my body, six months after I'd last suffered from it. I was covered in oozing bleeding sores for months and even steroids didn't make them go away. Finally they healed but I remain scarred, purple circular scars all over my body. This means the DXM (or maybe the lack of sleep and food which coincided with it) wore my body and immune system down to the point that it could no longer keep the poison ivy at bay.

I don't think so man, I know everybody's body is different. I'm thinking he has an enzyme deficiency. But I've done 708mg once and a handful of 300mg trips respectively all with weed. I've had disorganized thinking and shit but yeah I never remember the shit on DXM either if I fall asleep afterwards. I felt like I was on a 300mg trip but I fell asleep before I peaked....visuals were crazy.

 

[queenscarlet88]

I can't decide if this thread is freaky....or just creepy....or plain ol scary! Where do you live dude?

And I can't decide why you're being obnoxious. Why do you want to know where I live? I'm not sure why you're viewing a certain acute effect of being high as "scary."

I have only tripped on acid twice in my life, a total of seven tabs between the two occasions, spread several months apart from one another. I also took five Hawaian baby rose bush seeds once. That hardly qualifies as "tripp[ing] on it constantly."

go to california sometime and look at all the skitzo stumbling around town and mumbling to themselves or the voices inside their heads. "

I am aware of what full-blown mental illness leads to. I don't have one and have no intention of developing one. I have a full life of writing and running and dancing and friends (and low-paying grunt work at the Ulta while I break into the publishing industry) and no intention of sacrificing all that for the false succor and manufactured melodrama of mental illness. Temporary exposure to true mental instability in the form of drug abuse has thoroughly shattered any veneer of glamour around mental illness.

Your condescending attitude toward me would bother me were I to dwell on it any further. But I shall pay it no more attention, as you clearly drew on inflated and self-reflective generalization in adopting it.

Me and my buddy watched harold and coumar guantanamo bay or however it's spelled, it was pretty kewl, and than went outside, we went to 7/11 and i stole like the most shit ive ever stolen, and it all went smooth... had my cool face on

Watching a movie and then shoplifting from the 7-11 would not qualify as a glittering and worthwhile drug experience for me. It reminds me of all the hours I've wasted reading online news and devouring food while baked out of my mind -- just truly pointless, all my bad habits on infinite loop, and only sporadically pleasurable.

 

[dibly]

My mate smoked one joint a few yrs back, JUST ONE, and ended up in a mental institution with schizophrenia and has never recovered. I wouldnt touch it anymore if i was you.....

 

[Jibult]

Scarlet: I hope you don't take offense to me asking this because none is meant at all... but if you're experiencing these kinds of, in my opinion, extremely fucked up hallucinations when you get high, why do you insist on still getting high and testing the limits of your already seemingly fragile mental state?

My mate smoked one joint a few yrs back, JUST ONE, and ended up in a mental institution with schizophrenia and has never recovered. I wouldnt touch it anymore if i was you.....

Did he also drop five 10-strips of acid and stare at the sun until his cornea burnt out, all the while thinking he was a glass of orange juice and had to stand perfectly still or else he might tip over, spill and die?


:-\

 

[CRUNKA]

^happened to me once

 

[bdoobdies]

Hi, I've been taking drugs for many years and I have a mental disorder that skews reality in many ways.

I love to trip but haven't done it in years because of some intense trips that were just too much for me, not bad trips, but just STRONG ones. But I would take a psychedelic at this point if offered to me.

If you want to continue to smoke weed and you have this issue, and you live somewhere that you have the opportunity, I would suggest studying up on the strains and smoking the strains of cannabis that have known euphoric and anti-anxiety properties. I've been smoking for many years and there are still some strains that can trip me out in a scary way sometimes, like Cindy99 and certain intense hazes.

I recommend, if you can, getting or growing some Northern Lights dominant strains (or Northern Lights itself), some good ones are Shiva and Durga Mata, or some Hawaiin dominant strains, because they're generally very mellow and not too mentally intense. Also certain Blueberry dominant strains may help. Try doing some research, there's tons of info and seeds available to choose from now on the internet.

I always had issues, but I feel like my drug use at an early age may have brought out some more schizo-leaning tendencies within my brain. But I also feel like I could never go full blown schizo for the same reason, if that makes sense. I got very good at staying grounded and on top of myself while high, so I can keep myself relatively grounded even during the worst mental break.

Good luck