We the future

[_mistresspoppy_]

Intense silence
The world echoes
Tornadoes of specks
Sediment
Put there by the government
To kill the buzz
And kill the fun
And kill us all until it's done
Where have we come from
Where will we go
Trudging down the black tar road
The is the future
The weight of the world in a book bag
We just wanted to kill the pain
Future dying, all in vein

Any kind of help is welcome... It's a work in progress. My poem/prose tends to take on a life of it's own, growing and changing continually.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

"The is the future"
Is that a typo? Did you mean "that is the future"? That just kinda threw me off, but the rest of it is cool. I think the intro is a great intro..."intense silence" it's as if we are simply stepping into your head for a bit as you reflect these things in silence.

The weight of a world in a book-bag got me thinking about a college student, or even a highschool or younger student, carrying around the education that they are told will be so essentially important, which leads to a good job, good house, good significant other, etc. It really is the weight of the world isn't it?
But then the next line gets me thinking about a junkie carrying around his gear with him, especially the last line "future dying, all in vein" especially because of your spelling of the word "vein" as opposed to "vain" though both words would fit and make sense, "all in vEin" is just that much more despairing and confused.
I think this is well written and has a future if you keep on nurturing it.