Furnace
Ex-Bluelighter
When I say “heartbreak”, you say “sorrow”…
“Heartbreak…”
“Sorrow…”
“Heartbreak…”
“Sorrow…”
--------------
There’s so much I want to tell,
And I feel that there’s no other way.
A month ago, I changed. It was a muggy night, I recall,
Were I became a monster, and it changed me.
Everyday is now lived in fear,
Fear of other people finding out,
Their anger fuels them,
Just like my fear fuels me.
Now, I realize how immature, and stubborn
I was towards you, my family, my friends.
It feels like nothing can stop the change that everyone is going through.
People change, I was once told, but how do people change?
Do they get hurt by the one they loved?
Does someone else’s love change them?
How does a man who was strong become weak
And full of despair?
How does he stop it?
Does he come up with a correlation?
To stop his obsessive thoughts?
It works for a while,
Then, he sleeps, and dreams that he’s having a conversation with you
In the bed of a lover.
“Why are you still thinking about me?”
“I don’t know? Funny, isn’t it? That used to be your line.”
“I’m not here for banter. You have to realize that
I’m the star that you left behind.”
“But stars fall and disintegrate.”
“Or they supernova, and become brighter and stronger than they’ve ever been.”
“So is that what you have done? Have you become brighter and stronger than ever?”
And before she answers me, I awake, in a bed that’s not mine,
Next to another, who can never be mine.
I wanted to tell her about the dream,
But I’ve talked her ear off about you so much already.
Your changes, into a being,
So sure of herself,
I should feel proud.
I should feel happiness.
But I can’t feel it,
Until I feel justified.
My heart is heavy,
And its healing is slow.
But you won’t know,
Because no one really knows anyone.
I don’t know you,
And you’ve told me that I don’t know you.
I guess we never really knew each other.
So I take this moment to pour my heart out,
In hopes that it will heal.
Thanks to family tradition,
I cannot find another.
For that is someone else’s job.
They’ll find a person,
Who could make me happy,
In a way I should have never felt.
But I have, and I won’t let it ruin me.
Oh God, please help me.
I’m on my knees, in this rain.
I fear total loss of everyone.
I cannot visit any sites,
Without running into her.
Her changes,
My changes,
Forever unknown.
------------------
“I saw a change in you…it’s like you never had wings”
- Change (in the house of flies)
“Heartbreak…”
“Sorrow…”
“Heartbreak…”
“Sorrow…”
--------------
There’s so much I want to tell,
And I feel that there’s no other way.
A month ago, I changed. It was a muggy night, I recall,
Were I became a monster, and it changed me.
Everyday is now lived in fear,
Fear of other people finding out,
Their anger fuels them,
Just like my fear fuels me.
Now, I realize how immature, and stubborn
I was towards you, my family, my friends.
It feels like nothing can stop the change that everyone is going through.
People change, I was once told, but how do people change?
Do they get hurt by the one they loved?
Does someone else’s love change them?
How does a man who was strong become weak
And full of despair?
How does he stop it?
Does he come up with a correlation?
To stop his obsessive thoughts?
It works for a while,
Then, he sleeps, and dreams that he’s having a conversation with you
In the bed of a lover.
“Why are you still thinking about me?”
“I don’t know? Funny, isn’t it? That used to be your line.”
“I’m not here for banter. You have to realize that
I’m the star that you left behind.”
“But stars fall and disintegrate.”
“Or they supernova, and become brighter and stronger than they’ve ever been.”
“So is that what you have done? Have you become brighter and stronger than ever?”
And before she answers me, I awake, in a bed that’s not mine,
Next to another, who can never be mine.
I wanted to tell her about the dream,
But I’ve talked her ear off about you so much already.
Your changes, into a being,
So sure of herself,
I should feel proud.
I should feel happiness.
But I can’t feel it,
Until I feel justified.
My heart is heavy,
And its healing is slow.
But you won’t know,
Because no one really knows anyone.
I don’t know you,
And you’ve told me that I don’t know you.
I guess we never really knew each other.
So I take this moment to pour my heart out,
In hopes that it will heal.
Thanks to family tradition,
I cannot find another.
For that is someone else’s job.
They’ll find a person,
Who could make me happy,
In a way I should have never felt.
But I have, and I won’t let it ruin me.
Oh God, please help me.
I’m on my knees, in this rain.
I fear total loss of everyone.
I cannot visit any sites,
Without running into her.
Her changes,
My changes,
Forever unknown.
------------------
“I saw a change in you…it’s like you never had wings”
- Change (in the house of flies)
