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we need an "honesty day"

muzby

muzby

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 12, 2001
Messages
5,517
Location
melbourne - SE suburbs
how good would an honesty day be??

especially those who work in retail or customer service..

a day where we are allowed to say whatever we want... with no reprimand... everyone is fair game... all for one day...

just imagine...


clothing store attendant " yes, your bum does look big in that... perhaps you should resign youself to the fact that you are not as thin as you think you are.."

"no, we don't have that in your size.. we are a clothing store, not a tent store.."



call centre operator "i'm sorry sir, i understand you have been waitng for 10 minutes, but so has everyone else so just shut the fuck up and get on with business"

"just a minute sir, i'll transfer you to pizza hut.. they might give a shit about your problem..."

"why do you want to speak to my supervisor? they dont give a shit about you either..."


retail store attendant i'm sorry sir, we are out of stock.. maybe if you wern't so stupid as to wait untill christmas eve to go shopping...


or even just for the annoying girlfriend....

"i'm sorry, i stopped listening after your first 500 words"

"yes, i do think she's hotter than you..."

"no, i'm not going to call you..."

"you were good.. but i've had better.."




anyhow.. enuff of my rambling.. who's in favour of declaring an honesty day??
 
oh yes! how i would love to be totally honest with my trainees.

them: can we go over <insert concept here> one more time?
me: no we can't go over it again, are you stupid? it's so bloody simple, if you don't get it now you won't ever get it, my report to your manager will be that you're in the wrong field - maybe you should start applying for jobs as a cleaner

*sigh* for somebody who has absolutely no patience whatsoever, I'm pretty damn good at dealing with people
 
Im honest everyday ;)

Waiter (in reality): Yes I have enjoyed serving u all day and being treated like a subserviant student. No i didnt mind that u clicked your fingers and didnt make any attempt to move so that I could put your foot in front of u... Yes It doesnt matter if u dont tip... your company was enough

Waiter (on truth day): What u think we like serving some fat arrangant prat who wouldnt shut up the entire time and talks about how much money hes worth... then when it comes to bill time goes to the register to pay cause he doesnt want any of his friends to know that he is too much of a cheapskate to tip. FUCK OFF U CHEAP FUCK.. This restaurant aint for the poor... We aint all students and we take our tips very serious... Ill be taking home over $250 today... thats pretty good for a servant.

FUCK U CUNT...
AND FUCK U BLUELIGHT
 
i work in a cafe, and have no qualms about telling ppl how dodgy the food is - e.g.
'is the beef nice?'
:\ 'oh. i wouldn't'

i hate it if people give me food that's been sitting in the bain marie for too long or something! but most people (specially owners n managers) will just tell u it's fine, to make an extra 50 cents off a potato cake!
infact i won't eat from bain maries at all now, having seen just how dodgy most cafes n wotnot are,

but in general, i don't bother being honest with customers anyway. its not so much a 'straight-forward approach to customer service' attitude, its a very strong laziness that prevents me from wasting my energy on false sentiments for the dickheads from the mobile phone shop up the road!
 
muzby said:
clothing store attendant: " yes, your bum does look big in that... perhaps you should resign youself to the fact that you are not as thin as you think you are.."

"no, we don't have that in your size.. we are a clothing store, not a tent store.."



call centre operator: "i'm sorry sir, i understand you have been waitng for 10 minutes, but so has everyone else so just shut the fuck up and get on with business"

"just a minute sir, i'll transfer you to pizza hut.. they might give a shit about your problem..."

"why do you want to speak to my supervisor? they dont give a shit about you either..."
Click to expand...



CHOICE!!

LOL, customer service revenge....that would be sweeeeeeeeeet...

I had to escalate some mothafucka's call to our manager the other day because he made some pissy little donation to us a month ago and requested not to be put on our mailing list. The volunteer who took the call forgot about the "no mail" part, the guy received THREE MAGAZINES from us which are named after our organisation before he clicked as to who'd sent them to him.

Then when he calls to complain and we asked him why he'd waited so long before investigating where the mail was coming from, he said it was because he enjoyed reading the magazines...

So basically he was ringing to ask us to SACK A VOLUNTEER because we'd sent him magazines that he enjoyed reading.

Farken tool.....:p

--Raz--
 
Hahha yeah we used to have bain marie when i used to work at BS... hehe if it wasnt cooked enough they just stuck it under that for a little longer.

Where i work now... they dont have them because it ruins the food... ahhh working in a nice restaurant cant be beat... well i suppose the grad job ive got pays better lol
 
Retail sales assistant: I think I'm better than every person who comes into the store even tho by the look sof their expensive suit they have a well paid professional job and i am working at roger david because i dropped out of school in year 10 and fucked up my chances in life by taking up a career as a professional stoner.

Call Centre Operator: I hate my job and I hate my life. I didnt go to university and have no idea what my long term goals are. Consequently I am stuck in a dead end job with poor career prospects and am forced to take out these frustrations on unsuspecting customers who have a legitimate problem that I am too incompetent to solve.

Bluelighter: I have no respect for any person's drug knowledge who isnt a bluelighter. In fact being a bluelighter means that I know absoluelty everything there is to know about drugs so i dont need to take advice about it from anyone. I constantly strive to be made moderator of any forum at all so i can feel even cooler than the peons and read midget porn central without having to use a stolen password
 
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Woolworths check out chick: Sorry about the wait sir ...
Sir: Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually!

McDonald's employee: Hi, can I help anyone?
Customer: No, I'm fine to just stand here and look at the menu! For fuck's sake, serve me bitch!

KFC drive thru: Hi can I take your order please?
Customer: No, my family and I are just taking the scenic route ... of course you can take my fucking order!

Police officer: We are just conducting random breath tests, have you had anything to drink tonight ma'am?
Driver: Well yes officer! I've had 4 glasses of water, a can of coke, then another glass of water, then an orange juice, oh and a chocolate milkshake too!

Shop assistant in a clothes store: Hi! How are you? Would you like any help there?
Customer: No I do not need help, if I did, don't you think I would have asked? Now fuck off, I'm shopping!

My mum: Are you popping pills tonight Tenielle?
Me: Sure am mum! We actually have mdma caps this week, I'll probably take 3!

Person who is just about to go outside: Do you think I'll need my jacket?
Me, who is sitting at my desk inside: Who do you think I am? Sami fucking Lucas? How the fuck would I know if you need it or not?

Lastly .... I'd have to say ... nothing beats the guy on the add for nasal spray:

Person sitting on aeroplane: How! How are you?
Man sitting next to him: Fine now, but earlier blocked sinuses ... etc :)

Peace out!
 
hahahaha!!! :D

i had a situation today where i wanted to be totally honest.

the guy at KFC drivethru asked me after i placed my order "would you like any chocolate mousse with that?" WHAT THE FUCK?? i mean, why would he fucking ask me if i wanted chocolate mousse with my food? why chocolate mousse, he could have at least asked if i wanted an upsize or something. what gave him that idea? it just drove me crazy.

but instead i just said "no thankyou".

maybe not a "be honest" day, but a "be obnoxious" day would be interesting... and funny for all with a blatent superiority complex. :)

Cohaa.
 
That's another one:

fast food employee: Would you like [item] with that?
customer: Well did I fucking order that? NO!
 
Customer: "How much shaved ham did you just give me?"
Me: "How much did you just ask me for, you fucking imbecile!"
 
I used to work for a debt recovery team, and when our company folded we stayed on for another 4-6 weeks, trying to get in as much debt as we could before the final close.

Uptill that point we had been talking to 'customers' who we wanted to keep signed to our company, but after we closed they were no longer customers, just pricks who owed us money.

My boss told us: ok, I dont care if you swear at or abuse the little shits anymore, just get the money.

God that was fun. Nothing like telling customers to 'shut the fuck up and listen, moron'.

--
MDMA-4-ALL (And some timely abuse to the morons)
 
Heh, i get off somewhat easy, i work in housekeeping doing turndown..

..but i am always honest. some guy whose room i had to return later to cause he was having a shower before said 'i had to get dressed and all.. but i guess working in a hotel you see all sorts of things, just turn a blind eye to it.' i told him that 'usually if people are naked in their room, we don't go there?'

BUT having worked in retail before.. oh my. there is no limit to stupid guys asking stupid questions like. 'can i call you later' and then when i say 'no way' they are 'hey, i'm a regular customer here, i spend like thousands of dollars every year'.. but then i say 'but it's not my personal profit, is it?'

i guess i'm just too honest. i don't really lie. THANK GOD i don't work in a profession where honesty doesn't pay off

=D
 
You know muzby, honest people would do the world a lot more good than honesty day. Don't you think?

;)
 
I think once the day was over I would have a lot more enemies (and probably a few death threats).
 
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