We are the Powerless.

[New]

I can feel it.

The rushing-retracting sensation taking over my body and mind, then quickly pulls away as I attempt to unleash it. A hidden explosion that seeks to rend and dissolve anything I know to be, replacing it with something divine. But it ebbs and congeals into an unknown potential that never wastes, and never builds.

My untapped battery-the expression that singled me out to be used to describe this slight, strangled flicker of what wants to be untamed and primal emotive force, the spark of all creation and the end of all frustration. But the kinetics of this flame of acrobatic expression seems to ebb and flow just out of reach of the means to escape, compressing into a bloated mockery of what I could be.

Hell visits me privately, in the form of suppression. I want to create! I want to feel! I want to truly live! But unfortunately, it is not to be. I’ve no soul in these old bones, no sad stories to relate, no rage with which to fuel my rants, and a lack of moral ideal with which to construct my pedestal. Without those flames, I can only compare my desire as to a forgotten log, waiting, but never warming.

I am more than myself-I’ve several views on every stance, and several sides to every view. I’ve no direction, no single minded purpose in life. I can’t choose a side when they’ve all got merit. I can’t be an individual when I hold the views of the many. I can’t express myself fully as a single, passionate individual, when I hold in my mind the complacent, blameless, schizophrenic that is a collective.

I am a we. And We are the Powerless.

 

[(Wordy)]

I think what you've expressed here is very important, and captures a struggle that so many of us go through...

Hell visits me privately, in the form of suppression. I want to create! I want to feel! I want to truly live! But unfortunately, it is not to be. I’ve no soul in these old bones, no sad stories to relate, no rage with which to fuel my rants, and a lack of moral ideal with which to construct my pedestal.

The things which you're saying you lack, are coming through in your writing. I can understand your frustration / indecision / confusion though!

I am more than myself-I’ve several views on every stance, and several sides to every view.

I think this is the key to understanding one's true "place" in the world. All is flux - interrelated, shifting, evolving mass. Why "choose" a view, other than the "open" view? To construct a "unified", "single-minded" beast out of your soul is to observe social convention / revel in the "cult of personality". Do, and thereby be, everything you want to be! Rejoice in the diversity of life, art, beings, self... Why make yourself another self-serving "node" when all is One?

It's not easy to arrive at what Buddhists call "right view" and "right understanding" when so many things we're taught and indoctrinated into contradict the "truth". And even once you reach this view and understanding, it can be difficult to "see through them" at all times... life, and thereby suffering, is always getting in the way...

 

[Jabberwocky]

it ebbs and congeals into an unknown potential that never wastes, and never builds.

I really liked the play of these words. I agree i think many of us feel this way. Its weird because it seems your searching for a passion but your passion bleeds through your ever phrase. Dont sell yourself short, perhaps your not the most opinionated person, but why is that a bad thing. Some people are here to buck the status quo to be a beacon for others to rally around and some people are observeres pillars of thought who can understand all sides of things, the communicaters that make the world function smoothly.

thanks for sharing these things i am impressed with your bit of prose and look foward to reading more of what you have or will write/written

 

[(Wordy)]

Some people are here to buck the status quo to be a beacon for others to rally around and some people are observeres pillars of thought who can understand all sides of things, the communicaters that make the world function smoothly.

Exactly - well said!

thanks for sharing these things i am impressed with your bit of prose and look foward to reading more of what you have or will write/written

Likewise...

 

[New]

Thank you very much. The way this piece is written is the way I feel when I get ideas-they start off quick, then peter down until the idea dies quietly. It just feels like there's no fire in my usual writing because I feel like I normally construct my writings-pining over every word choice, and then carefully gluing every piece together until I get what I'm looking for. It never seems I can write from me. I just find it kind of ironic that the piece that was the most emotional was about having no emotion. Thanks again. It means a lot.

 

[Mehm]

awesome piece. i like it's complexity and flow.