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we all know the bad, but is there anything GOOD about bein a dope addict?

1 the ability to control your emotions
2 hardening yourself up- once youve gotten through withdrawals, you can get through anything
3 feeling badass
 
You know exactly how you are going to feel from one minute to the next - you just look at the labels on the little bottles of pills.
 
redrum og--really? bein a dopehead makes you feel badass? WTF? :D dont think i heard that one before.

Or do you just mean that you feel like an "outlaw"--like you livin on the edge, etc, that type of shit, like you aint just one of the millions of picket fence house wife dog and kids people out there followin the standard path, that you are 'different', that you 'experiencing life', etc? that would make more sense but i aint sure that bein a drug addict is 'badass' if you usin the usual meaning of that word...

Interested to hear back from you on that one...
 
lacey, i agree, thats pretty much what i was saying, that some people can still look alright "in spite" of their habit. but , if not make you look shitty, it might give your personality a shitty vibe a lot of the time which scares people away anyway. and i know this might offend you, but i think dope addiction affects women's looks more than men's. but that might just be because i notice these effects more then because i like women.

and of course ive seen tons of the fucked up looking junkies. the opposite are a rarity. i dont think theres and clean and shiny dope scene in the entire world lol. except maybe as you say with sniffers, but around here most people shoot because its mostly dilaudid and no H, which is not nearly as potent as H when sniffed. [i.e. most of its appeal is the IV rush anyway]
 
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Na CD, it dont offend me, I agree that i think dope takes a harder toll on womens looks if they dont take good care of themself.

I think its cuz alot of guys look raggedy anyways--a guy might be a construction or landscape or warehouse worker or watever and have dirt under his nails and be a lil scruffy lookin , you feel me? its totally normal and nothin out the ordinary to see a guy who aint all put together nice and all that. so when a guy is strung out and is lookin that way he fits in with all the other guys who maybe lookin a lil bit scuffed up.

but girls in general tend to look more 'put together', not as many females workin in jobs where they get physically dirty (for the record tho, holla to all the females out there who do--I been there , so big ups to us broads who aint scared to get dirty and work hard). And i dont even mean dirty just like, i dont know, rough around the edges, you feel me? So it stands out more.

I guess wat im sayin is, a junkie guy might be wearin a hoodie with stains on it, some old jeans, beat up shoes, have scars or other marks on his arms, have his hair all messed up, be sweatin and lookin generally messy--and another guy who works as a mason or landscaper might look exacctly the same as that. so the junkie dont really stand out. the different "looks" of being a guy match up more often with the 'look" of bein a junkie than they do for girls, so people notice it more. we on the same page for sure , like we both said--somebody might be pretty even if they do dope but it aint the dope that made em that way.
 
^ Exactly. Most definitely :) girls are usually more fragile, even "tough ones", so its more obvious when that fragility has been extra unbalanced. even hard-core blue-collar working women have fairer skin than any working guy, in my life's experience at least.

but i still think at least in the very early stages of opiate use, it can make people look kind of more attractive in that "autumnal" way that iggy pop said. i mean, he is a recovering addict. so he's not endorsing addiction either. it just might be true, is all im saying. but in terms of long term addiction, there's no question that its simply destructive. and short term inevitably turns to long term. thats kind of how drugs work overall, eh? short term is great. long term=nil.
 
Numb

Apart from getting high the one good thing I get from dope is that it numbs me emotionally and stops me thinking about certain painful moments in my life.
I know its no good in the long run and once I decide to get clean I will have to find some way to deal with these emotions.
But until that day comes, dope works just fine.
 
Being able to know how you're going to feel by reading the little labels on the bottle / known quality of dope



honestly, i love and hate dope. love it because i love being in that very opiated state / and the rush.
I hate dope because money probs relationship probs longsleeve summertime getting sick

the bad way worse than the good
 
ControlDenied said:
^ Exactly. Most definitely :) girls are usually more fragile, even "tough ones", so its more obvious when that fragility has been extra unbalanced. even hard-core blue-collar working women have fairer skin than any working guy, in my life's experience at least.

but i still think at least in the very early stages of opiate use, it can make people look kind of more attractive in that "autumnal" way that iggy pop said. i mean, he is a recovering addict. so he's not endorsing addiction either. it just might be true, is all im saying. but in terms of long term addiction, there's no question that its simply destructive. and short term inevitably turns to long term. thats kind of how drugs work overall, eh? short term is great. long term=nil.
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yea, i got you there...guess the way people find the whole "tragic" look attractive...when somebody is just begining to slip, i guess it attracts certain types of people cuz they look and its like 'oh so sad this beautiful girl falling into opiate addiction thats so tragic, so beautifully sad" I think that if you dont KNOW the person is on the shit it dont have the same effect but when you can tell the persons just ever so slightly strung out and its a pretty girl otherwise some people like that whole heroin chic look no doubt.


Anyways, its lookin like "Helps me kill the pain so i can live without shootin myself in the head" is a big winner in this thread.
 
Khadijah said:
Anyways, its lookin like "Helps me kill the pain so i can live without shootin myself in the head" is a big winner in this thread.
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Oh yeah. I probably would have killed myself with all of the insanely fucked up shit going on all around me if it weren't for opiates.


I'm still on Suboxone, 2mg's a day, so when a family party that I am obligated to go to comes up I am sure to get some oxy's for that motherfucker, because my entire family is made up of backstabbing piece's of shit. Seriously, when my dad dies my brother is probably going to have me whacked.

So I get high as fuck at those parties, and become the life of them. If I don't get fucked up, everybody wonders what's wrong with me and questions whether I am high or not.

So I suppose that I have a useful coping mechanism for awkward social situations.
 
I don't really miss anything about being a "dope addict". Being an addict is a never ending cycle of shyttyness, especially when your just usin to be able to function in the world.

Although there was a time when dope was all I needed to feel content for the day. I remember even saying it was "a shot of content". And the feeling you get from taking a big shot when ur super sick is amazing. I certainly miss that. You know when the warmth seems to trickle from your brain to your feet?..knees almost buckle lol

sorry if I double posted.
 
mangles said:
i've learned that i'm no different than the homeless man sitting on the freeway entrance holding a sign asking for money. i'm no different than the woman outside the grocery store begging for change. being a junkie has made me a much, much, much more compassionate person. one single slip up and i could be living under that overpass panhandling 12 hours a day.

the one thing i've learned is we're all human. we all have our demons. mine may be different from yours, but everyone bleeds red. we're all the same.
Click to expand...


So true,there but for the Grace of God.
 
Best thing ingot from my dope days is that I'm a damn good plebotimist! I can hit anyone with my eyes shut. My clients love me!
 
Khadijah said:
Anyways, its lookin like "Helps me kill the pain so i can live without shootin myself in the head" is a big winner in this thread.
Click to expand...

hm... true i guess ... [preacher alert ;)] : but there are heathier, non-life-destroying solutions of course, that we havent given enough attention and effort toward. you have to start fixing yourself [not getting a fix] in a constructive way or the end result is pretty much as simple as corny groups like NA say, jail instutions and death. or at the very least a life of complete degradation, lack of emotion, ultimate alienation, basically a living death [i.e. why junkies are kinda like zombies or "earth-bound ghosts" a lot of the time.] im not preaching because i need this as much as any addict, im just trying to elaborate on that "positive" side of opiate use, i.e. why it is still no justification for continuing to slowly kill yourself with the dreaded needle like "we are". i know in preachin to the choir here, and that i should take my advice first though :)
 
^ NA groups are not corny, if you give the program a chance (hard to do as an addict) they are very helpful IMO. I would say the best part about being a junkie is that no matter what problems you have, opiates can make it all seem better. The ultimate escape. It allows you to give a shit about a shitty job and it makes any mundane task enjoyable. Also, being an addict makes you very resourceful. In my active addiction I knew so many ways to get money....shady or legitimate. If you do manage to overcome an addiction, I believe you have a much higher appreciation for what life has to offer. You've experienced such a low point in your life that things people take for granted mean the world. Lastly, you can have sex for so much longer than if you're sober
 
Khadijah said:
Nah, Insulin is IM, dope is IV.
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Sorry, but insulin is actually taken SC (sub-cutaneously) which is in the fatty layer below the skin but above the muscle. However, those ROAs are very close. If the "junky" was into pharms then they may have experience with getting the solution out of glass vials, since anyone that has done this before knows that you don't just stick the needle in and suck it out--you need to use a negative or positive pressure technique to slowly replace the liquid inside with air so it won't explode under pressure.

I have a positive thing to add to the pile, but it's more of a scenario than an actual skill or memory. Once when I was younger I had taken some codeine in the form of Tylenol 3's ( haha yes, that's right, codeine...waaay back when that worked well), anyway I happened to be riding my mountain bike and dirt jumping it. I ended up endo'ing over the bars then detached in the air, lucky for me (sarcasm) I landed back down on the crossbar with my knees and got my legs tied up in the frame and landed flat on my side (no broken bones), I bruised my legs up bad and tweaked my ankle. Obviously the codeine didn't help with the bruising, but it did help with the pain, especially the ankle since I didn't think I hurt it that badly until the next day when I woke up and it was swollen and was throbbing and all I had left were ibuprofen caplets. So, all in all codeine helped "break my fall" as I was kinda pre-medicated for the injury.

Some of these may be repeats, but I will list as many as I can think of.

-Learning how to prepare a shot to take care of yourself incase alone in extremely severe pain with meds (close to our friends insulin example)
-Facing adversity such as the withdrawals and comparing any subsequential sickness to it (the flu now seems like a joke)
-Quick mental math skills (picking up in bulk/dosing in small amounts such as milligrams or micrograms)
-Self discipline (with the most addicting opioids)
-Bartering skills/interpersonal skills (self explanitory/dealing with different personalities and knowing how to read someone)
-***Being fair with or not rude to police (as most people carry their stash to avoid sickness when out and about)
-Learning to drive the speed limit more often hahaha (kind of a joke)
-Eating lots of fiber (learning which foods fit best in your diet, if your financial situation allows this)
-Learning respect with chemicals (knowing that one miscalculation could be the end of your life)
-Leraning sterility or at least optimal hygiene (being aware of micro-organisms that can cause infection which could ultimately lead to limb loss or death)

...to be continued...
 
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