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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

WD blues, anyone?

Well, my phone has been stolen, so that won't be a problem.. bleh..

Rehab, maybe. I have been to rehab before, and it's not the program I found intolerable, it's the people. Everyone thinks it's their right to be the biggest asshole in the world because they're irritable from withdrawal and whatnot. Damn grumpy junkies.. lol.
 
if i were a cat, which i wish i were, i'd have 4 lives left... at 9am, i will be 48 hours clean, my knees still hurt, xanax has sedated me for most of this time... still, i plot, scoring, slamming, and ultimately damning myself

there is some VERY "good" dope in my town, so good, 2 people lost their lives to it, one of which was my close friends brother, if i make it through tomorrow, i'll never have to do it again...

i just need a little help...
 
why do we do it? because we want to die, but don't quite want to do it on purpose?
is it because we are filled with pain?

lately my motivation to use has been jealousy to all these assholes who drive their fancy fucking cars with heated asswarmers while they sip caffelattes... thats what i want... i think i'm on the right track...


yes, i have...

the blues
 
Ugh, so sick.. can't eat or sleep. My darling boyfriend took all the heroin and skipped town. A perfect, fairy-tale ending to the most epic awesome fail of a week indeed!
I have a bottle of Vicodin chilling in front of me here but it belongs to my friend... fucking things probably wouldn't do more than hurt my stomach anyway.
 
PhrostByte said:
Starting day 22 without dope and day 15 without subs.. still not sleeping well... *sigh* :(
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Don't worry it will come. I would say avoid sleeping during the day as it's only gonna make it harder when you go to bed. Don't bother with benzos etc, 1 hour natural sleep is better than 8 hours valium sleep imo anyway. Try not to eat/drink/smoke a few hours before you go to bed, and when your laying there understand that even if you don't get much sleep the rest you are giving your body by being in bed will help anyway! Congrats mate on your 22/15 days that's awesome!
 
24 days without dope and 17 without subs... even went a couple days without smoking a cigarette... but eventually caved in. I'm pooping regularly and I even slept last night! Possibly around 8 hours... yea maybe I took 75mg of benadryl but that's not too bad is it? :D
 
hey, sleepwalker here.
Over and done with withdrawl.
Clean again, even worked all week as i explained in the loperamide thread.
Ready for my family.
side effect, i quit smoking weed....
I just had to do that to think straight.
Been smoking since i was 12, i'm 39 now, so thats kinda odd, but a good side effect.
I used L-tyrosine,5HTP, vitB6and some oxazepam, with 2x20Mg Loperamide on day one and three.

I'm a free man again!
I feel myself!I see the people again and smile at them!
And my wife is the happiest woman i've seen in some months!
Only the look on her face is worth it allready.

If your in WD, remember it's only temporary, hang in there, a better life awaits you!
It's allways darkest, just before dawn!
 
PhrostByte said:
Starting day 22 without dope and day 15 without subs.. still not sleeping well... *sigh* :(
Click to expand...

That's a hell of an accomplishment! Congrats! That shows your dedication and in the words of Joe Biden, "It's a big fucking deal!"
 
Thanks for the support.. didn't sleep much last night. 25 days with no dope but I did smoke some hashish with my new Israeli friend yesterday. It was so much weaker than American pot I was surprised.
 
Going into day 3 now.. don't think I can take much more of this. My whole body is one giant burning, freezing, sweaty, painful goosebump and a half. Can't eat, sleep, or think. The vicodins helped a bit but now they are gone and I'm on my own here. I cannot believe I've done this to myself again. How many times will I be this fucking retarded? It's not rocket science. Fuck.
 
hang in there, Smackncheese.
i still believe it gets better after 72 hours.
Just remember that you will have the same shit OVER and Over again, if you do not make up your mind, and take a permanent decision.
These 3 days will come back.
Please don't give up, you can do it!
Wish i could come over to 'Babysit", i'd say nice words to you, and help you think straight.
Or whoop your ass to get through this.
I FEEL FOR YOU!
Been there too many times...

Any Loperamide at your shop, it took the edge off a bit for me.
 
SmackandCheese

Do you have access to suboxone or methadone?

Suboxone makes the process a whole hell of alot easier as Im sure you know. Getting clean is the easy part, its staying clean thats where the battle begins.. Once the withdrawls are over and we think we can handle one.......
 
sleepwalker said:
Any Loperamide at your shop, it took the edge off a bit for me.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately no.. there used to be, but I just tore the bathroom apart and it looks like it's gone. Not surprised, considering I live with junkies. :\

SececaRD said:
SmackandCheese, Do you have access to suboxone or methadone?
Click to expand...

Nope, I gave all away but a half an 8mg suboxone pill.. which got taken from me when the cops picked me up the other day. :( I didn't think it would be a problem.. I really wasn't expecting to get addicted again, especially so quickly!

I feel worse than ever right now. I think it'll get better after today, but that means I have to get through this day first without offing myself or giving in and copping dope. The nausea seems to be at its peak. I have to keep getting in the shower just to get the cold clammy grossness off my skin. Ugh.
 
just remember, "If i get through this, i'll never have to do it again."

i wish i could say i stuck to it, i got to day 3 and caved... got 2 bags, i know the w/d wont be as bad as it was, but, i'm not looking forward to it... AGAIN!

just remember more people feel for you and love you and are cheering for you than you'll ever know

smile
 
SececaRD said:
Suboxone makes the process a whole hell of alot easier as Im sure you know. ......
Click to expand...

I disagree. Just look at Phrostbyte. He is weeks in to his cleantime and still has some withdrawal problems. Had he just CT'ed then he would be having a lot less issues by this time. Suboxone makes it worse IMO. Makes it take longer and it's effect on the K receptors adds a new (bad) twist on the WD and PAWS.

IMO you're better off accepting it's gonna suck but has to be done and dealing with 3-6 days of acute symptoms and short acting opiods have a shorter PAWS duration compared to Suboxone or Methadone.
 
i was 74 days clean then i relapsed on h 6 days ago but have been clean since then.
was using opiates for four years failed out of two rehabs. thanks 2 suboxone i might be able to kick for good. but the PAWS do suck. i have zero motivation, and feel pretty hopeless. but time is on my side.
 
DrinksWithEvil said:
i was 74 days clean then i relapsed on h 6 days ago but have been clean since then.
was using opiates for four years failed out of two rehabs. thanks 2 suboxone i might be able to kick for good. but the PAWS do suck. i have zero motivation, and feel pretty hopeless. but time is on my side.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I would rather go through short term hell than long term zero motivation and depression. That's the difference between cold turkey and suboxone.
 
mmmm i dunno about that. either on suboxone or not. you are still going to go through PAWS. which includes loss of motivation and the feeling of hopelessness. subxone just help you stay clean while you go through your PAWS phase of the whole getting clean process.

but if you are saying that by getting on suboxone im just delaying the inevitable because im just going to go into suboxone blues. then ya you are correct =(. i just feel like i NEED something to get me through my day. i also drink alot while on sub. like 12 beers a day. which leads to me looking like a fucking retarded weirdo. i dunno maybe ill go to a psych doc and see if they will give me some benzos to help with the achohol WD and anxiety that usually leads me to use in the first place.
 
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