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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

WD blues, anyone?

i stopped doing dope about a year ago, and was even done taking bupe, up until about the beginning of this year; i've been struggling to quit again, but a month is a long time to suffer through wds, especially when you have shit you hafta do almost every day of the week.

eventually, i'll get through it again, and be done for good. hopefully i can make it til my kpin refill arrives, cuz then i'll basically be through it anyway. post-bupe-withdrawal euphoria is the best, btw. it lasted for like 2-3 weeks last time, and was better than heroin, cuz it didnt go away. <3 :D
 
be through what? ur kpin refil? lol
i've been hooked on subs before, sucked, and since i fucking hated the taste i'd plug them, and well... fucked up, id plug em everyday, and not well... shit for weeks on end. those were dark days man.

i'm just going to have to deal with it. have thought about trying to get a bottle of imodium or something, i got skelaxin but they arnt worth a fuck.

fucking sucks, back to watching anime. hack..//sign
 
this sucks so bad. my stomach is twisting and turning, cant eat anything, my head is throbbing. i have to make this the last time i go through this shit.

sorry some background.
got home from iraq oct '09.
went through the steriotypical opiate chain of command. couple vikes here and there, then came oxys, now heroin. finally decided when i was about to put a needle in my arm for the first time right before a family dinner, i had to do this.

2 days in, idk how im gonna get through it.
 
The Hebrew Hammer said:
I was watching the wire the past few days and I heard a quote that has really hit home really hard, something to the extent of "shame is some tricky shit, makes you want to change your ways, then beats you back down when you think you cant"
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I loved THE WIRE but that show is a HUGE trigger for me...too much dope

I'm kicking and I don't feel 100% but I'm not dying as I was in the past...but I did a major taper this time around (mainly because I was out of money) -- initially from a bundle a day (at least) down to 4 bags/day before I left town because my life was completely unmanageable as it stood. I had a few 3-day fentanyl patches and some leftover suboxone. Tapered down on those as they were running out -- went from daily dose of 16 mg to 8 mg to 4 mg to 2 mg -- took my last 1/4 pill (2 mg) this past Sunday and now I have mild symptoms (achy, sniffling) but I'm not hallucinating and sweating and vomiting like I was when I attempted to go cold turkey from a bundle a day...

The best thing I did was remove myself from my old environment...I'm a weak girl ;)
 
Bojangles69 said:
Its YOU that is going to get you out of this shithole of a life.
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one of the best posts I've read on BL.....

though I've never been into heroin, I've quit smoking meth yet again & am determined to stay the fuck away from it for good

I've been fantasising about it all week, and it's doing my head in... good thing I fucked off my sources, so I can't access any...

So I have to say that coming in here & reading about acute physical withdrawals makes me feel somewhat better, or less alone, in my mental 'agony'

but when you deprive yourself of something, you only want it more :|
I really can't afford to lose anything more to this habit, though. I've already shaved 5 years off my life in the sense of achieving things, going places, making something of myself.... I will not lose another half-decade stuck in addict-inflicted hell :X
 
hyroller said:
I really can't afford to lose anything more to this habit, though. I've already shaved 5 years off my life in the sense of achieving things, going places, making something of myself.... I will not lose another half-decade stuck in addict-inflicted hell :X
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I hear that -- I lost so many years to my heroin habit...I've only been clean a little bit, but I'm trying to make up for lost time -- planning trips (including a skydiving one!), trying to mend friendships that I ignored because my best friend was H, etc.

Stay strong and reclaim your life! It'll be worth it...,
 
SececaRD said:
Kicking is very easy, Staying clean is the hard part.
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DAmn fucking right. I gave up cold turkey and it was piss easy. I'm going on 30 days clean now after only smoking for a few months and right now my craving is INTENSE. I've pretty much decided I'm going to relapse. I fucking hope the high will be as good as I imagine it's going to be.
 
ranunky said:
DAmn fucking right. I gave up cold turkey and it was piss easy. I'm going on 30 days clean now after only smoking for a few months and right now my craving is INTENSE. I've pretty much decided I'm going to relapse. I fucking hope the high will be as good as I imagine it's going to be.
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ive had people tell me that the day that they had the highest time fun times woundlt even trade for his worst day sober. so its true man

it will be alrite. :)
 
i was off suboxone for a week ( been on 2 mg a day for 3 years to treat my depression- i lied said i was a drug addict to get my hands on it- it cured my depression like no other drug.

now life has been good to me so i figured i would try getting off it...the taper was fine, i was off it a week or so with usual sick shit, fatigue.... then today- bang!!! horrible trip down memory lane, horrible depression was in bed all day i wanted to jump out the window! I COULD NOT BEAR IT i wound up taking a 1 mg sub. i feel better but not sure what to do now....do i just go back on this stuff again - i don't know if severe depression is part of withdrawal , how long it lasts or anything !! maybe my brain really just needs the opiates cause it can't make its own....??
 
VanGlorious said:
good luck bro ive been there. think positive tho. i put myself through withdrawals so many times that they got less and less painful each time. even if was blowing through 3 times the pills. last time i detoxed i was mildly sick for *1* day. you might be experiencing the same thing. get yourself some smokes tho lol dont shock your system too much.

one suggestion id like to make to everyone who'd like to STAY CLEAN is get on a program of some type and BE OPEN MINDED. its your current way of thinking that has got you where you are. what worked for me was going to NA meetings as often as possible. you meet people who have been through all the bullshit and managed to keep drugs out of their life and learn from there experience. youll find that these random people will really reach out and help you through any problems you have. now i have a frigging list of people i can call whenever im having a shitty day or have drugs on my mind.

you arent alone. theres tons of people out there going through the same thing and have beat it. im only about a month clean myself but i know now it can be done.
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^^ The shit works ^^ Only thing that has worked for me.
 
edie29 said:
i was off suboxone for a week ( been on 2 mg a day for 3 years to treat my depression- i lied said i was a drug addict to get my hands on it- it cured my depression like no other drug.

now life has been good to me so i figured i would try getting off it...the taper was fine, i was off it a week or so with usual sick shit, fatigue.... then today- bang!!! horrible trip down memory lane, horrible depression was in bed all day i wanted to jump out the window! I COULD NOT BEAR IT i wound up taking a 1 mg sub. i feel better but not sure what to do now....do i just go back on this stuff again - i don't know if severe depression is part of withdrawal , how long it lasts or anything !! maybe my brain really just needs the opiates cause it can't make its own....??
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I was on Sub for over a year(because I thought it was the cure all for my addiction to oxycodone). Then I decided that "It was time to stop"... I cold turkyed the Sub, which lasted 3 weeks or so. I attended NA, every single day that I was going through withdrawals, and that shit helped. I still go, and I'm still clean. That was in January FYI...

Grab your balls, and make a change, if you are truly sick of the bullshit.
 
^Fuckin a rite.
Guys, we can do this. Theres so more more to life than this bullshit hampster wheel. I just feel like fucking crying right now. I see the pain I put my parents through and my brother is unbelievable.
I so want my sober self back man and fucking do something about this life.
Man I broke down and got another sub b.c I;m a pussy,
It's my OCD, depression, anxiety, boredom, FUCK
I;m sorry I dont want to ramble on to you guys,
I know theres a better life out there. I know it, let's go live it!:(
 
My Mom just called from work and told me she talked to a counseler or some shit
I;m gettin on a plane tonight or tomarrow and fucking gettin my life back
off the sub off fuckin opiates for good.
I just started bawling my eyes out on the phone with my MOM. I love my parents to much to keep bullshitting my life around,
I hope the best for everybody. WE all deserve better than this
 
I'm sorry I feel like I need to vent, I called my buddy who I ran around with. we were brothers together through our whole addiction and couldn't be stopped. although hes still on sub. I asked him if he wanted t go *1* more time but he can;t. I'm feeling a lot of different emotions now.
I;m relieved to get help yet so scared but I know it has to be better!
I;m feeling very anxious right now and high anxiety.
got 12 bucks to my name. i cant get dope, no ride nor enough cash.
I'm gettin xanax later which will help
I really wish the best for all of you. I;ve only been a member for a month now but have been coming here for a couple years now.
It;s nice to know Im not alone and this battle can be fought.
 
Queens said:
When you guys say 'blues' does it affect you such as....constantly thinking of old memories and tearing up ? And just generally feeling choked up in the moment?

Cause i take opiates 3/4 days a week (30/mgs hydro) for a while and now after the days of taking i get this kinda depression. I am on my 4th day of feeling like this (been happening the last month after usage).

I have no real physical WD as i've never used 24/7, just this extra kinda eery depression.

I've had downers the day after E but this is some sort of lasting depression....anybody gone through something similar?
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this same shit happens to me a few days i come off an oxy binge. its terrible, ive never felt as depressed in my life as i have after that shit runs out.
 
mainstreet50 said:
My Mom just called from work and told me she talked to a counseler or some shit
I;m gettin on a plane tonight or tomarrow and fucking gettin my life back
off the sub off fuckin opiates for good.
I just started bawling my eyes out on the phone with my MOM. I love my parents to much to keep bullshitting my life around,
I hope the best for everybody. WE all deserve better than this
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Take the help now. You don't want to be in a situation like mine. I am 36, can't function at work while withdrawling, can't miss work to detox because I won't be able to pay my bills, and I have nowhere to go if I lose my place. You got your whole life ahead of you. There is nowhere to go staying on this path.
 
lozgod said:
Take the help now. You don't want to be in a situation like mine. I am 36, can't function at work while withdrawling, can't miss work to detox because I won't be able to pay my bills, and I have nowhere to go if I lose my place. You got your whole life ahead of you. There is nowhere to go staying on this path.
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Thanks for the reply loz, yes I just think about my life in the future and by now I;m really realizing how fast time goes by and I hope to God I get the help I want and need.
 
I have been suffering in the throngs of WD depression for about 2 weeks now. Stopped cold turkey from a 200mg++ habit of oxy. I finally broke down and bought some roxies yesterday tho, and I am feeling pretty good. Been shooting them up, which is not like me at all, I never shoot them up. Maybe cold turkey is not good for me, because of all the pain it causes me to seek new lows and not give a fuck at all. Hmmm... I should probably get some subs somehow.
 
5 days of that shit till today. Everyday seemed worse than the prior. WD sucks. Somebody owed me 10 30mg roxis and paid me today. Shot up 3. Want to spread them out but I know they'll be gone by today or tomorrow. Then the fun datrts again since I'm broke till the 3rd.
 
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