wasting words

[chrissy]

the person whom this is for, knows who they are. i pondered upon posting this, because nowadays this subject matter is hardly relevant at all. just going through a tough time in my life. wish i had the support of the one person that helped me through so much previously. i dont. i also wish he'd come back to me. he never will. at the moment, my life is going nowhere from all points of view and i really wish i had something to cling to. i feel so alone.


single moments of insanity
bring me back to life
as i feel pain i know unfortunately,
i am still, currently
alive.

found myself today
wanting to press buttons-
stop the world from spinning
stop it in its tracks.
and as you stand frozen
reach out and grab
you.

you'd be all mine
we'd stay up and talk
like old times
we'd make plans
we'd get lost in ambition.
so in love
wanting just to be
held.

never felt your kiss
never shivered at your touch
i still think about you...
despite everything crying, "to no avail"
passion found,
is now lost.
i know to you, i don't even
matter.

reflections of the past
keep me up at night
i think constantly about you
and the infamous "what could have been",
slapping myself back into reality
as i struggle through another wasted
day.

why'd you put me through so much pain?
why did we abandon something so good?
questions- are all that remain,
and my greatest fear is never finding you again.
taking unanswered queries to my
grave.

i'm not happy without you
i waited for that day
when our talking amounted to action
when our feelings were explored
and as you arms familiarised themselves
with my body,
i'd reach up and whisper
"thanks for loving
me."

truth be told
i want you back
truth be told
i don't want you to hurt me again
truth be told
you're all i ever wanted and will want
truth be told
i'm wishing to no
use.

in the silence of this darkness
i wish i could call
nearly messaged you today
to say i missed you
wanted to forget
that heated argument we had
but it was only through that that i realised
to you, i don't even
matter.

oppressed by these emotions
i can only think
that you are ok
i always cared about you
hoping you are well
you have made your decision
never to me to return
again.

should you find life isn't adequate,
i'll be here waiting
like the fool that i am,
for your call.
no one else amounts to you,
i am alone once more
waiting for your drug
to enter me
again.

 

[katmeow]

Gah, I really feel you on this one

I know it sounds cliched, but time helps. loneliness is painful, hope you find the strength to move forward

 

[cherub]

agreed on feeling you on this one.

also a cliche,,,, but taking this time to get to know you and find your strength and goals helps

just keep at it

loved reading it thank you for sharing.

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

So honest, and sad.

*hugs*

 

[chrissy]

thanks babes... means somethin that someone feels me on this one =(