This is kind of a two part question and I don't really know how to start this, so I'll start with the background of the story.
Some years ago when I was in a bad place in my life, I turned to typical "party drugs". I got my life figured out and didn't touch anything for a long time. Now I have a committed relationship with a man who has many positive experiences with mdma and has a lot of knowlage of it.
He knows I have had bad experiences with drugs before and wanted to re-introduce me slightly to give me good memories of being under the influence and later on we could to it together just so we could share the feeling and go more in debt to our relationship. He did it once (when I was sober) to show me how he reacted and giving me an estimate of how it would be for me. It went great and I came to my own conclusion that I wanted to try it myself.. If he stayed sober so I would have someone to lean on just in case.. and he completely agreed.
Well, the day came and I was nervous at first, and when I had a difficult come up (lots of puking etc TMI) he stood by my side. I started feeling great and had a super awesome time. I don't know if he got a bit jealous or what, but he wanted to take a bit as well. Even though I told him repeatedly I wanted him to stay sober, he fell for the temptation and did some himself. At the beginning it was fine and we had a great time, but suddenly he fell into deep hallucinations to the point where I couldn't communicate with him. He could not look at me or talk to me and when he did talk, he thought he was at work and tried to bend pipes and shit (in his head). Then, it escalated to him overheating like crazy. He had epileptic looking cramps and he was breathing extremely fast. After a phone call to a good friend, I decided to call an ambulance. They sent a car because he was unable to respond, the fever and the cramps.
I was so scared I thought he was going to die.
He fortunately got better at hospital without pumping and all that. After many hours he was well enough to go back home. He was quite upset with me for calling 911 and said it only happened because he took a bit much and I had no need to worry. But I felt I had no choice. I later found out he had benzos in his system as well as the mdma and that might be the reason for the collapse, I don't know.
He is very sorry for what happened, but says i'ts a normal reaction.
So... should I not have made the call or just let him ride it out?
The problem I have now is that I have gotten so much anxiety from it. The first nights I couldn't sleep when he did and I walk around with a bad feeling all the time. Sometimes my anxiety lasts for hours. I don't know how to make it stop, so if you have any suggestions on how to make this easier for me, please share!
Some years ago when I was in a bad place in my life, I turned to typical "party drugs". I got my life figured out and didn't touch anything for a long time. Now I have a committed relationship with a man who has many positive experiences with mdma and has a lot of knowlage of it.
He knows I have had bad experiences with drugs before and wanted to re-introduce me slightly to give me good memories of being under the influence and later on we could to it together just so we could share the feeling and go more in debt to our relationship. He did it once (when I was sober) to show me how he reacted and giving me an estimate of how it would be for me. It went great and I came to my own conclusion that I wanted to try it myself.. If he stayed sober so I would have someone to lean on just in case.. and he completely agreed.
Well, the day came and I was nervous at first, and when I had a difficult come up (lots of puking etc TMI) he stood by my side. I started feeling great and had a super awesome time. I don't know if he got a bit jealous or what, but he wanted to take a bit as well. Even though I told him repeatedly I wanted him to stay sober, he fell for the temptation and did some himself. At the beginning it was fine and we had a great time, but suddenly he fell into deep hallucinations to the point where I couldn't communicate with him. He could not look at me or talk to me and when he did talk, he thought he was at work and tried to bend pipes and shit (in his head). Then, it escalated to him overheating like crazy. He had epileptic looking cramps and he was breathing extremely fast. After a phone call to a good friend, I decided to call an ambulance. They sent a car because he was unable to respond, the fever and the cramps.
I was so scared I thought he was going to die.
He fortunately got better at hospital without pumping and all that. After many hours he was well enough to go back home. He was quite upset with me for calling 911 and said it only happened because he took a bit much and I had no need to worry. But I felt I had no choice. I later found out he had benzos in his system as well as the mdma and that might be the reason for the collapse, I don't know.
He is very sorry for what happened, but says i'ts a normal reaction.
So... should I not have made the call or just let him ride it out?
The problem I have now is that I have gotten so much anxiety from it. The first nights I couldn't sleep when he did and I walk around with a bad feeling all the time. Sometimes my anxiety lasts for hours. I don't know how to make it stop, so if you have any suggestions on how to make this easier for me, please share!