Yes! I think this happens to many many people, but I don't think they see it that way. Usually they just have a reason to justify why they are unhappy, but I think objective people can see they are choosing to be unhappy, and are content with being unhappy because its what they are used to.
I honestly think its a matter of being comforted by familiarity. If you are familiar with misery, well then you feel a certain nostalgia when its around, and that nostalgia might drive you to drive away happy feelings, if your attached to it.
I would say that everyone is wanting to be someone. The people that are "happy" are truly people who want to be happy, that is what they identify with. Its normal for them to be happy and they derive their sense of self out of it. I happen to have the most fucked up identity. Well, its pretty bad at times anyway.. My identity is of a person who continuously rebels and goes against what he should be doing. I can honestly say that I wanted to be that person. Its been my identity since I was 7 years old.
So then after understanding this sort of thing within myself. I look at it and go hmmmph, so I am a slave to my identity. What does my identity consist of then? It seems to consist of thoughts that have a meaning which guides my actions.
So if I understand that my identity is just a story in my head created by thoughts and that it is the cause of my suffering, why still do I continue on the path? The answer I have found is actually a very old answer that has been spoken about for thousands of years! It is that I am so constantly wrapped up in my head and focussed on the thoughts themselves that I am not mindful of the identity itself as a story, but instead I am indentified with the identity.
So the key then is to realize that this human being is creating a fictitious sense of self and projecting it constantly, and that this self is the cause of suffering.
The other factor is that even though your self wants to be miserable, you still must objectively see that misery isnt exactly a walk in the park. So there must be a feeling of like damn this needs to change even though part of me doesn't want it to change.
Heres an interesting notion. Do you have a self? Is a self an asset to you, something that you own. Sort of like how you own a car? If you see that your self is like an object that you experience in the same way that you experience a car. Who the fuck is it that is experiencing the self?
And what would that "experiencer" experience and feel like if it didn't have the thoughts of the identity self constantly talking in its ear?
Food for thought. And maybe; food for silence
