want to live together but..

[laurenbacall96]

Hello there , I am not exactly looking for a specific advice ,I just wanna hear an extra opinion
So I have been dating my bf for 9 months now and we have already known each other 2 years before that, were friends , so when we started the relationship we were already really close and soon started making plans for the future. However I find myself reluctant to do somethings with him - like introduce him to my parents , maybe its because I've never introduced anyone to them before and I've always thought that this is something you do when you are about to marry the guy or something ,no reason to include the parents before that, just my point of view (although he has introduced me to his parents 4 months after we were together ) . And even though we talk often about how we would move in together eventually ( when we finish university and have enough money to support ourselves ) staying at his place ( he lives alone ) for more than 1 day seems a lot for me.. for example ,now we are in our summer break from uni,we basically have nothing to do till october, so he often offers me to stay a couple days , but I always somehow seem to end up coming up with some lame excuse not to do it or when agreeing I do it in order not to offend him or hurt him..and so I often feel strange because of these things ,because I know a lot of couples do that - "living together" for a few days or having family dinners etc , but even though I love him so much and even more, I am convinced that he is the one I want to be with for life ( for many,many reasons) doing these serious things is smth that always makes me pull away.. And I am interested in hearing different opinions and probably being consoled that I am not the only one who experiences these things.

 

[Mysterie]

you like to have your own space and time to recharge after social interaction?

maybe you just want to take things slower.

whats the issue?

 

[belligerent drunk]

Living together and living together for 2 days are two completely different things. I feel exhausted after spending a whole day (and night) with my girlfriend, and want to be alone to recharge. However, living together in the actual sense is different - you just share a home, it doesn't necessarily mean you need to give each other attention all the time, although it helps if you don't ignore one another. Remember how it is living with parents - you don't always actively spend time together and so on. Alone time is always present. And that's also the way in most "living together" scenarios.

 

[laurenbacall96]

Maybe the problem lies in the fact that he doesnt seem to have these issues- I mean,if it was entirely up to him to deside I would be staying for 4-5 days in a row at his place
:D and it has been this way since the beginning of our relationship,that is why I feel guilty for backing off

 

[Mysterie]

if ur an introvert and he is an extrovert it is perfectly natural. if you let him know that you like him but lots of social interaction is tiring and you need space to recharge. then he wouldnt have to make assumptions and you can be more open with eachother. showing you trust the other person to understand you brings you two closer.

i cant stay at friends house longer than overnight usually, we are close but i have nothing left to say after so much comversation.