Wah

[pk.]

abcd

 

[PsychicBuBBLe]

Why?

 

[junkieman412]

everyone else sense of an ideal world? Wtf does that mean its not all rainbows and butterflies here. Life is hard, trust i know. Im more or less determined to show all those who thought id be the next to go that i can make it. Its not impossible i'm a maniac out there when im using. Hang in there.

 

[PsychicBuBBLe]

junkieman - When dealing with someone who is down and out, it's probably not the best idea to essentially say "nut up or shut up" - Personally, I'd like to know more about pk's decision. Perhaps shed some light on the situation being that I've had my run in with depression and whatnot. Having a sense of despair and nothing to look forward to can be rough. However, it may help if you can relate to someone and possibly change your perception. After all, it worked for me...

 

[herbavore]

PK, when EVERYTHING leaves you feeling empty it means that you have to get out of one world and into another. Whatever world comes after this ends this one completely. But this is a huge planet, full of vastly different worlds. When you are in that state of deep depression it feels so hopeless, like no matter where you go, what you do, who you are with, life will always feel empty. You owe it to yourself at your young age to at least give yourself a few different worlds to try this out in. You do not have to accept reality! Try to use that sense of desperation, that frantic need for release to propel you to push your boundaries with something other than drugs and alcohol. Death is final. I didn't want to bring up my son when I started writing to you but now I do. I will be taking some of his ashes out into the bay in about a week. You are a talented, smart, empathetic, creative young man full of possibilities even if you cannot see them right now. In 6 days I will hold in my hands the ashes that are all that remain for me to hold of my son that was also a young man full of possibilities. Picture that. Picture your mom or your Dad having to do that. Picture not being able to speak for yourself anymore but to become only a story that someone else is telling. Do something, PK. Do something drastic to live, not something drastic to die. You know you can PM me anytime.

 

[pk.]

abcd

 

[junkieman412]

junkieman - When dealing with someone who is down and out, it's probably not the best idea to essentially say "nut up or shut up" - Personally, I'd like to know more about pk's decision. Perhaps shed some light on the situation being that I've had my run in with depression and whatnot. Having a sense of despair and nothing to look forward to can be rough. However, it may help if you can relate to someone and possibly change your perception. After all, it worked for me...

it was more of a sarcastic wtf i guess i did kinda sound like a dick. That's kinda what brought me out of it though truthfully. To see other people living through what i thought i couldnt.
2 weeks ago i was speedballing and ready to die. Im a bipolar unemployed felon that has been in and out of rehab,jail, psych wards,relatives and friends houses, lost apartments and belongings over and over again for years. Im still here i told him to hang on we're all in this together i really really know where he's coming from.

 

[motherofearth]

You are a talented, smart, empathetic, creative young man full of possibilities even if you cannot see them right now.

This is good news, b/c herbavore is a powerful combination of perceptive and honest, so this can be taken as an unshakable fact. So in this case, you're not solely ending your life, but also your abundance of talents and abilities. These attributes at the least will help you, and at most they can help your fellow man. Think about that: if you smother out your life, you deny all the people in the future you were to meet the potential of bettering their life in some way. Sorry if this is off track, but when I know someone has innate abilities, as I now am assured of in your case, I cringe to think of the loss for you and others.

Maybe try this (if you still feel it's all for naught): offer your talents as assistance to others in some way. Just try it - for even a day. If you've done it before, try it again. What's to lose, other than a day?

junkieman, I see the way you were trying to go about things, and the caring place it came from. Maybe you were slightly strong in your language, but I respect your progress and your compassion.

 

[herbavore]

Thanks herbavore. I've read your poems, although i'll never know the feeling personally I can feel it in your writing.

I'm listening to Yesterday by The Beatles, I haven't slept in 48hrs, quite drunk, high, had a few sleeping pills and I'm crying, I haven't for years. I'm just a mess at the moment. I'm going to sleep for a few days.

PK, I would feel so much better if you let someone in your life know what you have taken. I get very afraid when I hear sleeping pills and alcohol.

 

[PsychicBuBBLe]

pk - Talk to us for a bit before you make any hasty decisions. Let us know exactly what you're feeling and what your background is like. What have you got to lose?

 

[welshmick]

I always say I'm going to end it but I'm sure now. I just got off my anti-depressants, I smoke weed, take sleeping pills, valium, drinks lots. I'm over everyone and everything. Life is fucking bland, pure suffering. I can't connect to anyone else's sense of an ideal world. I'm alone and would rather just finish this shit. Planning on getting some money, getting a lot of drugs and just ODing.

NO Really wise words.

Just don't do it - you won't get out of this life alive whatever you do,
Chill, go with the flow.
Mother Nature will end your life when she's good and ready.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

Thanks herbavore. I've read your poems, although i'll never know the feeling personally I can feel it in your writing.

I'm listening to Yesterday by The Beatles, I haven't slept in 48hrs, quite drunk, high, had a few sleeping pills and I'm crying, I haven't for years. I'm just a mess at the moment. I'm going to sleep for a few days.

PM me when you wake up if you want. Sleep is never a bad idea.

 

[sconnie420]

I always say I'm going to end it but I'm sure now. I just got off my anti-depressants, I smoke weed, take sleeping pills, valium, drinks lots. I'm over everyone and everything. Life is fucking bland, pure suffering. I can't connect to anyone else's sense of an ideal world. I'm alone and would rather just finish this shit. Planning on getting some money, getting a lot of drugs and just ODing.

Can I join u? Jesus, I feel the same way..

 

[Libby]

When you hit rock bottom you are free to take a chance on something completely new, something you normally wouldn't have risked what you have for, you can now because you (having decided you're just going to kill yourself now) have nothing to lose.

Just an idea, maybe before you end it all.