W/D due to my own stupidity and other issues!

[BeachBum4u]

So, I'm a CPP who's on Opana ER 40mg twice a day and Oxycodone 15mg four day. Due to some travel/vacation plans last month, my PM doc refilled my scripts 5 days early for the regular amount (even though I asked for his to Rx lest 5 days) and I'll see him again in 4-5 days. For some reason over the past few years I've become almost a hermit. I used to enjoy folk's company and really perk up around others but these days I have to "put on a face" to be around others and it causes be unbelievable stress. Long story short, during our week-long vacation my step-daughter had a friend along who stayed with my wife and I. I found it difficult to sort of be alone because we had plans that sort of required me to be "on" so to speak. I ended up using extra meds to stabilize my stress/mood (whatever you want to call it?). And because I had an extra 5 days added until I see the doctor next, I find myself in a serious bind with my meds. I'm stretching them out the best I can but I really fear I may totally run out a day or two early.

I totally realize this is self inflicted but I find myself thinking some crazy thoughts! From going to the hospital, to going to my GP and just coming clean (although I don't think I can take that risk because I truly do "need" the meds and for the record, I’ve been on these things for nearly 35 years). I also wonder whether I could find something illegally and I've even had thoughts of shooting up H, and I HATE needles but I'm hurting and frankly, scared as shit! For the past few days and the next 4 days, this is what I have available - 1/4 of a 40mg Opana ER a day and on the side 2 15mg Oxycodone pills which I'll probably need to last 1 -1 1/2 days when the Opana runs out.

I've ready other threads about W/D and I do take 4-5 Loperadine's a couple times a day and so far, that has not been too bad an issue for me and hopefully it won't but I'm ready. Does anyone have any grand ideas short of finding an inner city source (and probably getting robbed or worse) or just checking myself into the hospital or ER? It really hurts to know how bad I've fucked this up but seriously I think I may have issues I may need to address that have nothing to do with my CP. Thanks for reading this!

 

[Midazle]

Been there before....back when my doctors would only prescribe a measily 3 Percocets a day I'd burn through a month in 18 days and they all thought I was some addict until I got put on OxyContin with BT meds...anyways I know the temptation to take more, although I consider myself lucky that after only 4 years I don't really crave the doses. Anyways I set up a few safety nets, one is have a friend who has chronic pain, one that you can trust, even if you don't ever really need extra pills in this day and age the DEA is so insanely controlling that you might find yourself in a bind, maybe even stow away like 3 or 4 Methadone tabs if you can get those to ward off withdrawals and its good for pain as well. Second, if you get breakthrough meds like I do (180 Oxycodone IR's a month along with my 60 OC's) put some extra tablets in your wallet (you know right next to the condom every guy has? hehe) and then put some in a spot you'll forget about, that way if you burn through a bunch of tabs and start to get desperate you can find relief. It sounds insane but yeah.

 

[Trippy1]

Look in to poppy seed tea brother, it sounds stupid, and it tastes terrible. but I swear to god it will more than keep withdrawls away if enough seeds are used.

 

[twotoomany]

Seed tea will do the trick for sure. It may not help with the pain, but it will keep the sick off. Be careful though. Dosing can be unpredictable. I only even suggest it because you have a solid tolerance.

 

[Midazle]

Seed tea will do the trick for sure. It may not help with the pain, but it will keep the sick off. Be careful though. Dosing can be unpredictable. I only even suggest it because you have a solid tolerance.

This^ I do not know the specific dosing regimen but I do know that each pod on average has X amount of Morphine and Codeine...I'm sure if you look it up you'll find it stickied on here and when you dose assume that each pod contains equal to or more than the most amount found in poppy seed pods....as we all should know by now you can always take more but taking less is well....complicated to say the least lol. But if you have a 40mg Oxymorphone x2 a day tolerance thats equivelent to 160mg of Oxycodone a day not including BT meds...be careful with the poppy seed but that said you ain't gonna OD with any small amount!

 

[nAON]

OTC you can look out for products containing codeine or dihydrocodeine. Loperamide is OK to deal with some side effects if you can get it.

What sort of schedule are you on with opis, are you being scripted regularly?

 

[BeachBum4u]

Thanks everyone and yes I'm on a monthly regimen and that's how I get my meds. Honestly, I've never gotten this low in my entire life. Since the time I wrote the first entry, I am now down to 2-3 mg of a 40mg Opana, probably enough for me to not get sick when I wake up in the morning. In addition, I have 22mg. of Oxycodone. Technically, all of this would need to last me just over 72 hours. IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPENING! I just broke down and called the PC and left a message saying I am in dire stress and I am in great need of seeing my doctor ASAP. I didn't say this but I may be driving myself straight to the hospital if he won't cut me some slack. If I can see him on Monday morning, Ill just have to come clean and tell him "Mya Caupa" and I'll never ever allow it to happen ever again. Bottom-line is that I will need to leave his office with my monthly scripts Monday (about 72 hours early). I've never had this exact sitution come up before. so I'm really hoping for maybe a slap on the wrist (hard is OK) and then we can move on with a better understaning of what I can and can't ever do again. Ireally really don't wany a long lecture (I know what I did, I fucked up but iI did it in times of need, period. Our trip was really very stressful (increasing my neck/headache issues) weeklong trip!!

As I see it, these are the outcomes which may happen
1 - He fills them all but reads me the "riot act" and I'll need to be on my toes going forward
2 - He fills the scripts but says that is the last one and I'll need to find another clinic.
3) - He puts the "ball in my court" and says you need to wait it out sick or not and writes the scripts at the usually scheduled day.

Obviously I would prefer the 1) option hoping I can handle the oncoming train which will be said "riot act".
I really don't want to stop going there but I may have a way of working with this other clinic but I'm sure they'll talk and I don't how that would go. The place might be pissed!
The 3) option obviously sucks! because there is no way I'll be able to handle stopping this levels of meds for the past decades. I will end up checked into a hospital. There just won't be any way around it. I really pray this doesn't happen.

Last Last resort is I try to get into a larger outfit Ive recently seen for a full write-up on me having genetic RA and she threw around the age old Dx of Fibromagalia (sp?). She asked me a few times in passing if I need her to prescribe my regular meds. I told her not at this time but things were kind of left open. I'd prefer the other place because they're smaller and I like how thy run things. I'm just shitting a brick even thinking about all of this!

PS - Please pardon the thoughts flopping out of my brain in a kind of disorganized mess but thanks again for the responses. Now I try to sleep and wait for a call tomorrow morning hoping I can get it. If so, then the fun begins.
'

 

[RTrain]

First thing I though was poppy seed tea, too. The only issue is finding the damn things, but some research and just looking around should result in some success.

 

[BeachBum4u]

Update: They don't see returning patients on Mondays, so they'll see me tomorrow morning. Meantime, I'm out of Opana and down to one 15mg Oxycodone and I am seriously hurting. Both from pain and from not having the meds. I'm taking the Loperadine regularly but it still hurts and my stomach is killing me. I haven't had an appetite for two weeks and I've probably lost 10 lbs already. I hope I don't end up in the hospital!

 

[BeachBum4u]

Not to belabour the idiocy of me, myself and I, I ended up getting the scripts filled that day (God Bless them!!!) but because I had been on such low doses for a week and a half (if my memory is right), I went straight out bat shit crazy and fucked myself up AGAIN! And, for the record, I am seriously pissed at myself!!! There is no excuse for this shit and this the last time it's going to happen. I swear if I can't do this right for an entire 30 fucking days, I WILL check myself in somewhere and stop this shit and try to find something else to help with my neck pain. I can't even communicate how seriously pissed I am at myself right now.

I am seeing the doc this month tomorrow afternoon and technically tomorrow is day 30 but they only write refills for after the 30 days have passed; so Thursday AM. He may give in and fill it at the office tomorrow afternoon but who knows? I'm going to apologize upfront for this rambling because I know there are a number of these types of posts on BL. So I really appreciate anyone who reads this. God Bless!

 

[SpinningFree]

I'm not sure if this is ok to say, but I'll go ahead and make my point and as it's not directly helping you deal with sources. You seem to be going back and forth between taking your meds too quickly and then having to deal with the WDs that come with not having enough pills to get you to your script. You don't seem like you want to/are able to quit using altogether, but you need something to tide you over when you lose self-control. Many of the "individuals" who provide such meds to the public for the purpose of getting high also will sell suboxone/buprenorphine. Someone I knew was HEAVILY into oxy (hundreds of mgs a day) and this person learned that their regular shipment would not be coming at the planned time. This person freaked out about WDs but eventually got some suboxone and with the help of loperamide, he was actually able to cut himself down to a low dose of bupe......until the stuff arrived, and the cycle repeated as we often know..

Now, you are getting your meds legally and you have an injury which, in the opinion of a healthcare professional, requires opiate medication. I would suggest going to a doctor who is able to fill suboxone scripts instead of suggesting you reach out to any "contacts" you might have. The only issue is, with all the prescription monitoring going on and often, a prescribing doc can see all the controlled meds you've been scripted, you're going to have a hard time convincing your original doctor NOT to cut you off from the Opana or ween you down somehow, as you would be basically be admitting you have a problem. Perhaps, though- if you find the right doc you could convince him/her you're not getting enough of your original med and need the Bupe in case you run out. It may or may not work but it's an idea. I'm also NOT suggesting you should acquire drugs that are not meant for you or do anything illegal. That is NOT the point of this post, merely to state that Bupe is out there, you dont need much and it would work well for times you "go overboard" once getting your script. Hey, no one's perfect

 

[BeachBum4u]

Thanks Spin and actually the fact that I regularly can't sleep for shit constantly adds to my daytime pain and I end up needing extra pills to be able to get any good sleep. Of course, I also need them when I'm awake and moving about as well as I can and "in a nutshell" that is my dillema. I've referred to my general age a time or two, so I'm no spring chicken and I'm pretty sure I'm older than 99% of the BL group but I enjoy the info and exchange of ideas. Listen, I was a white-collar college grad CPA since I was in my late 20's and am now nearing the big 55. Many years ago, I was a musician and was around every and anything you could come up with but at my age I just don't run with ANYONE who could make anything happen in a pinch. Also, not too sure I want to go that route for legal reasons but thank's for your input. I hope I don't get shut down because I'm an old fart 70's hippie in disguise IRL but I really do appreciate everyone here on BL. God Bless!

 

[DyinISuss]

Opanas bioavailability intranasally is MUCH MUCH higher than orally.

If u can prep your pills to snort -- the newer ones take work -- 1 days worth becomes 5 days worth.

 

[deximate]

what an excellent idea... I take 8 mg of dilaudid 4 X daily (six herniated discs and sciatica) and managing my meds (also bipolar and adult ADHD) is very hard for me. Last week I somehow ran out of my regular HM scrip four days early and suffered - with about equal amounts of agony - opioid withdrawal and PAIN. I just got the new scrip filled, and as soon as i read the above message, I hunted around for an empty med bottle, put four HM inside, taped it shut w/ electrical tape and made a plan to give it to my shrink to hold on to.
again: excellent idea - - thanks!

Been there before....back when my doctors would only prescribe a measily 3 Percocets a day I'd burn through a month in 18 days and they all thought I was some addict until I got put on OxyContin with BT meds...anyways I know the temptation to take more, although I consider myself lucky that after only 4 years I don't really crave the doses. Anyways I set up a few safety nets, one is have a friend who has chronic pain, one that you can trust, even if you don't ever really need extra pills in this day and age the DEA is so insanely controlling that you might find yourself in a bind, maybe even stow away like 3 or 4 Methadone tabs if you can get those to ward off withdrawals and its good for pain as well. Second, if you get breakthrough meds like I do (180 Oxycodone IR's a month along with my 60 OC's) put some extra tablets in your wallet (you know right next to the condom every guy has? hehe) and then put some in a spot you'll forget about, that way if you burn through a bunch of tabs and start to get desperate you can find relief. It sounds insane but yeah.