Mental Health Voices, music and imagining typing on my phone while trying to sleep

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Now this is so weird but since dropping my dose of mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg then using valium and then moving onto clonazepam I have been trying to sleep and having music in my head, a bit like an ear worm

Also I feel like I'm on my phone and go to reply but there's no phone, I imagined it, I was messaging on my phone in my head laying in bed

Then there was a conversation between me and my son and I was answering him it felt I was really talking to him, but I then I realised I'm in bed trying to sleep, then I thought he walked in my room as seen light, but it was a light from the crack in my curtains not light coming from the hall, I think there's been other conversations too and I go to answer no one lol

Am I going mad, do I have a different mental health problem than my doctor and me thought, is it the medication?

I can't ask my doctor as she is mad at me because I keep upping my mirtazapine, then trying to wean off them, then getting depressed so I go back on them

I've been upping and changing meds for years, I've been on and off benzos for years and this hasn't happened, the ear worm song stuck in my head has, but not the conversations, and the imaginary phone thing happened once or twice ages ago when I'd been on uppers after a rave and was trying to sleep afterwards and I thought it was funny as it was the drugs

But I've got no fucking drugs lol, I only had mirtazapine and Promethazine last night

 

[Coffeeshroom]

i have had a similar exp when i had my benzos and then climbed in bed to fall asleep but then i fall asleep have a quick dream of something similar and then wake and find myself it not being true. It's like hanging a quick hallucination but over in seconds as you wake. Not sure if this is what you talking about but similar exp has happened to me in the past, keep in note i have never done Mirtrazapine or Promethazine, so maybe there is a med reaction with those and benzos that your body doesn't like as we have come to know we all exp or handle meds/drugs on a different level and how it effects people, Hope this helped, im trying

 

[Deleted member 521610]

this is kind of like sleep paralysis mini rem dreams. I get this normally when im trying to nap at night but not fully sleep with my phone in my hand.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

i have had a similar exp when i had my benzos and then climbed in bed to fall asleep but then i fall asleep have a quick dream of something similar and then wake and find myself it not being true. It's like hanging a quick hallucination but over in seconds as you wake

Maybe it is but I don't feel like I'm asleep

keep in note i have never done Mirtrazapine or Promethazine

I've done them together loads though, but it's been since the serotonin syndrome so I'm thinking it's my body not liking the mirtazapine

But it done it a few days where I took benzos instead of mirtazapine too

this is kind of like sleep paralysis mini rem dreams. I get this normally when im trying to nap at night but not fully sleep with my phone in my hand

Yeah sort of like what my Shroomie said but my phone wasn't in my hand, I just thought it was I thought I was messaging people on it lol

Fucking weird as like I said I got it on uppers before which means maybe it is the mirtazapine as that's serotonin and after having the serotonin syndrome and dropping down, maybe my body don't like it, or it's the benzos fucksake, how will I know lol

I don't want to stop mirtazapine as I already lose weight and can't eat since stopping the 30mg as its an appetite stimulant and I get depressed when I stop mirtazapine

I've gone from 9 stone to 8 st 8 lb, well I was 8 st 7 lb yesterday so put a lb on lol

I have now got different benzos, 10 nitrazepams that I have never had before, well I have but turned out they was mixed with tramadol when I'd sent one to Wedinos as they fucked me up, I couldn't type after taking them, not even the day after, felt normal but couldn't type properly at all

Hopefully these nitrazepam are legit and I'll see if it happens tonight on just one of those, got 10 tramadol too, another make I've not heard off but not had tramadol in ages as I'm not getting addicted to those again but needed something for my fibromyalgia as been in bed for days

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

So I've took 10 mg nitrazapam and 7.5mg of mirtazapine and I just went to go to sleep and when I close my eyes I'm getting random images popping into my head, like scrunched up paper on my duvet and other random images, earlier on when I had closed my eyes I saw a beetle for second, and that was before I took my sleeping meds, I had took G today, then waited 2 hour's before taking cocodamal as was in so much pain

I heard about something called "closed eye hallucinations" caused by medication but don't know much about it I'll googje it tomorrow just thought I'd ask in here

It must be mirtazapine so going to try and wean off, I was thinking about that anyway even though the last time I spoke to my doctor she said stay on 15mg, then go chemist for my other medications, eye drops etc and I looked at the repeat and a doctor has removed the mirtazapine from the list of my repeat meds

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

I'd forgot all about this lol, it was definitely the drugs as its not happened since, I was taking all sorts around that time, not all at once but over a couple of weeks I had nitrazapam, tramadol, zopiclone, promethazine, co codamol and mirtazapine, K and GHB

Fucksake I'm not surprised I was seeing shit thinking back hahaha, the shit I go through trying to come off mirtazapine then benzos only to back on mirtazapine, my doctor won't give me anymore antidepressants now anyway, no more mirtazapine and nothing similar either as I get side effects and serotonin syndrome on so many

I've bought a tens machine and a microwave wheat bag for my fibromyalgia and CBD to come off mirtazapine but I'm almost of CBD, if I start seeing shit when I drop down the last of my mirtazapine I know it's that but I think it was the nitrazepam or something

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Laying in bed trying to sleep and it's doing it again, only slightly though,
I wasn't asleep or half asleep and felt my phone or something was in my bed, it's not it was on my bedside table, and then that I got fed a spoonful of soup lol, but I'm actually so hungry but not making food now as took my meds

Only thing different is taking vallies as not had them in a while, took them past 2 nights maybe 3, and my lower dose mirtazapine and a CBD

Must be mirtazapine and vallies, but it's a low dose, weird!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Could be. As you said, it's most likely the drugs.

But how is everything else going in life? Any changes recently?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Now this is so weird but since dropping my dose of mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg then using valium and then moving onto clonazepam I have been trying to sleep and having music in my head, a bit like an ear worm

Also I feel like I'm on my phone and go to reply but there's no phone, I imagined it, I was messaging on my phone in my head laying in bed

Then there was a conversation between me and my son and I was answering him it felt I was really talking to him, but I then I realised I'm in bed trying to sleep, then I thought he walked in my room as seen light, but it was a light from the crack in my curtains not light coming from the hall, I think there's been other conversations too and I go to answer no one lol

Am I going mad, do I have a different mental health problem than my doctor and me thought, is it the medication?

I can't ask my doctor as she is mad at me because I keep upping my mirtazapine, then trying to wean off them, then getting depressed so I go back on them

I've been upping and changing meds for years, I've been on and off benzos for years and this hasn't happened, the ear worm song stuck in my head has, but not the conversations, and the imaginary phone thing happened once or twice ages ago when I'd been on uppers after a rave and was trying to sleep afterwards and I thought it was funny as it was the drugs

But I've got no fucking drugs lol, I only had mirtazapine and Promethazine last night

When did all this start?

Your symptoms sound quite similar to what I experience every day. Constant music echoing in your head (all day for me) and every time I go to sleep I have very intense visuals/dreams when I close my eyes. Often I will see my computer, phone or the room around me in such great detail I forget my eyes are closed. It will be ultra vivid.

Both of these symptoms started when I had my mental break.

Also both benzos and SSRIs make the symptoms worse! Benzos would make the visions even more clear, vivid and confusing. SSRIs make the music a lot worse.

We may have similar things going on. You've been on the SSRIs for awhile right? Do benzos make the visions worse?

I say visions because what I see is a cross between CEVs and a vivid dream (while being completely awake)

The voices went away for me.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Could be. As you said, it's most likely the drugs

Yeah it was fine I took another half and fell asleep

But how is everything else going in life? Any changes recently?

My 18 year son moved out a week ago and I might need to move out of my home I've lived in for 16 years as I can't afford the bedroom tax, if the new service charges can be covered by my housing benefit I might scrape by but my rent goes up by a tenner a week in April, £8.41 of this is service charge, like electric and cleaning of the main building which I don't even live in as I have my own door leading to outside on ground floor, attached to main building but separate if you get me,
I don't need to go in main building and yet I still pay sane as people who do, so it's a waiting game now to see if I can stay in my home, if I get moved out into a one bedroom and my son needs to come home for any reason he won't have a room, so yeah stressing and coming off mirtazapine at same time, while not doing any ketamine and not had benzos for weeks, maybe over a month, till last few days ago, they run out now, I'm trying to be good when all this is happening

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Constant music echoing in your head (all day for me)

Yes earworms every day, alot its in my head now, but that time I was trying to sleep back in January it was more than an earworm, but it's annoying having music playing in your head all the time, this only started when I wrote this thread so 6th January, but thinking back I have bad earworms and music playing when I'm tryied coming off Zopiclone too, now that was fucked up, I didn't want to try and sleep as could hear music, and I think a few other tones, always when coming off something

and every time I go to sleep I have very intense visuals/dreams when I close my eyes. Often I will see my computer, phone or the room around me in such great detail I forget my eyes are closed.

That's what happened but I'm not asleep, it happened on MDMA when I'd took zopiclone sleeping tablets on top to go sleep, it was quite funny then, I kept trying to take my glasses off but wasn't wearing them lol, and typing on an imaginary phone, funny as fuck, I'm smiling remembering that night lol, but that's understandable as it was MDMA, and lots of zopiclone which used to be a bit trippy for me back then lol

Its happened on sleepers, vallies, clonazepam and dropping mirtazapine so I don't know what's what, I don't know what's my head, what's because of drugs, but weird I take vallies after weeks of not taking them and it happened, but I also dropped mirtazapine by about 2.5mg too a few nights ago

We may have similar things going on. You've been on the SSRIs for awhile right? Do benzos make the visions worse?

Mirtazapine is a Nassa not SSRI, both work on serotonin but mirtazapine works in a different way, yeah been on it a year this time, few weeks break here and there where I used benzos, came off mirtazapine before using other pills and not had this though

But yeah that's exactly it is, benzos make it worse, but only this year, I've took mirtazapine and benzos and zopiclone together many many times and it's not happened, I can't blame K, GHB etc either now as the GHB was a one off well a one off a couple of times lol, and not done K in a good couple of weeks and what I done was weak crap K so don't do it now, so it's not those causing it

I'm scared it's something other than generalised anxiety disorder now, but it hadn't happened in weeks till I took the vallies, and not first night or second night of vallies it was the last night

Very weird, thankyou for your detailed reply, you have made some good points

What mental illness have you got that causing you this?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm trying to be good when all this is happening

That's all we can do.

Good for you for using BL as a resource; we're all here for you on your journey.

 

[Jabberwocky]

it's annoying having music playing in your head all the time

Oh man, I know. It's maddening after awhile. For me it starts every day before I even open my eyes in the morning. Some random ass song, usually shit I don't like.

That's what happened but I'm not asleep, it happened on MDMA when I'd took zopiclone sleeping tablets on top to go sleep, it was quite funny then, I kept trying to take my glasses off but wasn't wearing them lol, and typing on an imaginary phone, funny as fuck, I'm smiling remembering that night lol, but that's understandable as it was MDMA, and lots of zopiclone which used to be a bit trippy for me back then lol

Its happened on sleepers, vallies, clonazepam and dropping mirtazapine so I don't know what's what, I don't know what's my head, what's because of drugs, but weird I take vallies after weeks of not taking them and it happened, but I also dropped mirtazapine by about 2.5mg too a few nights ago



Mirtazapine is a Nassa not SSRI, both work on serotonin but mirtazapine works in a different way, yeah been on it a year this time, few weeks break here and there where I used benzos, came off mirtazapine before using other pills and not had this though

But yeah that's exactly it is, benzos make it worse, but only this year, I've took mirtazapine and benzos and zopiclone together many many times and it's not happened, I can't blame K, GHB etc either now as the GHB was a one off well a one off a couple of times lol, and not done K in a good couple of weeks and what I done was weak crap K so don't do it now, so it's not those causing it

I'm scared it's something other than generalised anxiety disorder now, but it hadn't happened in weeks till I took the vallies, and not first night or second night of vallies it was the last night

Very weird, thankyou for your detailed reply, you have made some good points

What mental illness have you got that causing you this?

Yeah, the visions are when I'm still awake. They start about 5 seconds after closing my eyes. And like you said, I actually find them somewhat entertaining. Sometimes I see really intense psychedelic shit and it's like LSD or DMT visuals, very colorful and cartoonish. It's kinda like a free trip... But it's also disturbing that it's happening because I know it's not normal and it reminds me of the year of sheer hell of insanity I went through.

I don't want to alarm you but this all started for me when my psychotic/schizo break happened from too many psychedelics. I recovered mostly but still stuck with these symptoms. I fucked up my serotonergic system.

It sounds like it's not permanent for you yet, which is good, but I would be careful and take care of yourself.

Make SURE you are getting enough sleep, nutrition and I would definitely stay away from psychedelics and stimulants for now.

Find out what's causing it.

Trust me, you don't want these symptoms permanently, it sucks

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

we're all here for you on your journey

Thankyou, I can tell people on here what's actually going on, not even my friends know half the stuff I've been through,
I can just imagine their face if they knew, especially my past heroin use lol

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Oh man, I know. It's maddening after awhile. For me it starts every day before I even open my eyes in the morning. Some random ass song, usually shit I don't like

That's shit, mines not that bad, and yeah I don't know lyrics to many songs so it's same lines on repeat lol, it's not funny but what else can you do apart from smash your head against the wall, I don't want what happened before to happen when it was really bad coming off Zopiclone as that was to much

Sometimes I see really intense psychedelic shit and it's like LSD or DMT visuals, very colorful and cartoonish. It's kinda like a free trip

I'd like that I've too trips etc before but not hallucinated, just bad experiences

I don't want to alarm you but this all started for me when my psychotic/schizo break happened from too many psychedelics. I recovered mostly but still stuck with these symptoms. I fucked up my serotonergic system

I haven't done many psycadelics though, and what I did do barely worked or caused bad trips so I gave up trying to trip, I just ketamine, it's dory of a psycadelic I think, not sure,

I don't do uppers, I only done UK base speed amphetamine powder (not meth) and MDMA when I went raving, not been in 2 years

I'm a downer girl, it's not stimulant psychosis that's for sure

Make SURE you are getting enough sleep

I have insomnia hence the mirtazapine, zopiclone, vallies, promethazine and valerian I take, I don't do it all at once, recently only pills are mirtazapine tapering and valerian, then instead of valerian I had vallies for 3 nights

I still get the music in my head when I've not took drugs though, it's not constant but some day's is worse than others and it does happen daily, so that's not normal then lol?

I'm listening to music now so can't hear the random music earworms, headworms more like, I'm in charge of what I'm listening to when I'm listening to music of my choice lol

I'm not sure how to find out what's causing it, can't ask my doctor she's a bitch these days

Trust me, you don't want these symptoms permanently, it sucks

Have you got Hppd?

 

[Kaden_Nite]

Hypnagogic hallucinations.

Typing on my phone is common. Phantom cigarettes were common when I was a smoker. I once loaded up a weed pipe and watched it vanish into the aether just as I was about to smoke it.

Hearing someone call my name is somewhat common. One time, I was sitting on a sunny Carribbean beach looking up at the clouds as they faded away and became my bedroom ceiling.

Sometimes it's some scary shit like I'll be walking along a thin, mountain road, trip over and fall off the edge and plumet back to the relative safety of my bed, but still shaken by the unpleasant sensation of falling.

Actually happens a lot. Every night for a while, then maybe not at all for a month or two. Usually just a momentary lapse of consciousness, well under a minute, other times it might be five or ten minutes into sleep when I'm abruptly startled awake by an exploding noise coming from my clearly troubled mind.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hypnagogic hallucinations.



Hearing someone call my name is somewhat common.

Yep. They can be really weird.

Other than the visuals sometimes I am jolted awake by someone screaming, calling my name or feeling something heavy falling on the bed. It also causes a full body spasm. Kinda feels like a micro sleep paralysis.

 

[Jabberwocky]

That's shit, mines not that bad, and yeah I don't know lyrics to many songs so it's same lines on repeat lol, it's not funny but what else can you do apart from smash your head against the wall, I don't want what happened before to happen when it was really bad coming off Zopiclone as that was to much



I'd like that I've too trips etc before but not hallucinated, just bad experiences



I haven't done many psycadelics though, and what I did do barely worked or caused bad trips so I gave up trying to trip, I just ketamine, it's dory of a psycadelic I think, not sure,

I don't do uppers, I only done UK base speed amphetamine powder (not meth) and MDMA when I went raving, not been in 2 years

I'm a downer girl, it's not stimulant psychosis that's for sure



I have insomnia hence the mirtazapine, zopiclone, vallies, promethazine and valerian I take, I don't do it all at once, recently only pills are mirtazapine tapering and valerian, then instead of valerian I had vallies for 3 nights

I still get the music in my head when I've not took drugs though, it's not constant but some day's is worse than others and it does happen daily, so that's not normal then lol?

I'm listening to music now so can't hear the random music earworms, headworms more like, I'm in charge of what I'm listening to when I'm listening to music of my choice lol

I'm not sure how to find out what's causing it, can't ask my doctor she's a bitch these days



Have you got Hppd?

Yeah the music is always repetitive. A 5 second portion, usually the chorus, on infinite repeat.

And like you describe it's only during moments when my brain isn't directly involved in an activity.

For example I never hear it while listening to music, watching TV or having a conversation. It happens when my brain can wander like laying in bed, showers, exercise or driving.

I did have hppd for about a year but that's been gone for awhile. Well it was either hppd or legit hallucinations. Not sure. For about 9 months I had constant visual distortion on par with about 3g mushrooms, constantly 24/7, during my mental break. People had auras, I would see geometrical patterns and things would appear to be moving or melting. Things like that.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Hearing someone call my name is somewhat common

Yeah think I wrote that above somewhere last month

Actually happens a lot. Every night for a while

Is yours from drug use or past addictions or mental illness? Are you awake when you hear your name or type on imaginary phone, or your weed pipe? lol

Was you on a beach when you was watching clouds on laying on your bed, as that sounds like a nice one

when I'm abruptly startled awake by an exploding noise coming from my clearly troubled mind

Sounds horrible I'm easily startled, I jump at everything I don't want bangs etc coming from my mind, what are you on for this, what is it any idea?

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

would see geometrical patterns

That sounds cool though, I don't see that even on drugs lol, well once on MDMA when I shut my eyes a few times, I wanted to shut my eyes more but was at a rave and paranoid I looked silly with eyes shut lol and once on a pill like 16 years ago, someone's fag has patterns on

For example I never hear it while listening to music, watching TV or having a conversation. It happens when my brain can wander like laying in bed

Yeah and when I'm just walking or washing up, cleaning etc and even now I'm talking about it I hear a song that was on a sitcom called Friends, not even the episode I'm watching now, and I only know a section it's one of Pheobies made up songs it goes "lather, rinse, repeat
and lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat as needed" and ironically it's repeating in my head

This is a very late night for me to still be up, not sure why I'm so wide awake