I began hearing voices in a particularly tough time in my life. When they began, they were quite terrifying. I heard whispers. I felt people were talking about me negatively. I was 21- around the age when people are said to develop schizophrenia- often. Often felt watched. Like every move I made was under the microscope. I was using drugs around that time. I had used AMT prior to developing this, and had been taking MDMA, Mushrooms, and Pot, as well.
I kept this all inside- not telling anyone, and maintained function. I went to school (again) and failed- but this wasn't directly to do with any voice hearing. The voice hearing came along with a rise in pain in my life, as well. I began to feel my face hurt. The nerves were on fire, to fail at describing it. It was one of the most painful- if not the most painful thing I think I have ever experienced, and it lasted for years, until I started taking better care of myself- to begin with. Fish oil helped, as the disorder as I came to find, many years later, was a food allergy reaction to milk- that caused this particular pain and general discomfort. The oil helped with inflammation, which was the main cause for the pain. It was compressing the 5th Cranial- or Trigeminal Nerve, which supplies a lot of function/sensation to/from the facial regions. The symptoms very much mimicked something called Trigeminal Neuralgia, which has been called "Suicide Disease"- one of the most painful conditions a person can endure.
The voices were threatening at times- to begin with. They undeniably mirrored, or met up/went along with my state at the time. This nerve, as I have considered in the future, connects directly to the base of the brain- and via other parts (pons? I think?) the amygdala, and all the deep-primitive emotion areas- limbic system. I don't know completely as is obvious, but I have considered that this trauma caused some of these things to occur. Milk allergy has been tied to what has been interpreted as schizophrenia-like and other mental disorder-like symptoms, due to metabolites from the proteins not being processed, and the general wearing down on the body.
So I can't deny I have experienced a lot of disorder... but I don't feel that that defines me. And I don't feel that all of these symptoms were necessarily bad... but almost mechanisms of defense, and/or compensating in some way, or perhaps some emergency process- like fight or flight response might be interpreted, but on another level. I know many people who hear voices also suffered some trauma. They say people who develop multiple personalities due so to deal with things, and this- I have interpreted these voices, as kind of similar. In ways I can see them as me- my own voices, my own projections. There are a lot of factors- a lot more than I can list and have- I'm sure. My insecurities- my fear of things, makes me simulate personalities that I would want acceptance by. ...In ways maybe they came about due to some breaking/wearing down of natural filters.
But I can't deny that I have been really surprised by "them"- and so often recognize that whatever is employing them, even if in my head, should not be ignored. Not that I should kill someone just because I feel like it, to highlight that I take them- the voices- their words into account, not blindly. They- as I never, say to kill someone, or hurt anyone. In fact- they operate as part of my consciousness. I strive to impress "them" (although sometimes I do say "fuck it" like any human might). I feel I have become a better person through this, and have learned a lot.
I also see how they might be interpreted as spirit(s), angels, even demons. And they might be such. It is how we find/how we interpret. I mean what are we, really? Might we have the whole of everything locked away inside (holographic universe, and such)? This is sort of what I go by. That it is all accessible, even if we are limited beings, as we are. It makes us up. Angels might be aspects (and or ways to describe... thoughts a human can have). So might demons, and God/Gods (interpretations, often times missing certain faces). Perhaps the way we come to somewhat of a consensus sometimes (though not completely) as for shared religions/religious experiences, and those descriptions with "Michael", "Gabriel", "Raphael", or "Jesus" and "Horus", or "Quetzalcoatl" (And pixies, fairies, trolls, etc.)... might very well be the same as all of us have a head, though perhaps slightly different shape. Or, that we are born and die, for some example. The quotes can be left out. I mean no disrespect to the literal. Just trying to keep doors open.
I don't know.
Another thread that had some controversy recently, made me want to write this. I was told to seek medical attention, for seeing art (to me at least) and hearing voices in my life, and in and around things, so I wanted to offer this- here.
There are many people who hear voices who function normally- for all others know, and like to have them around, whatever they might be- however they might be interpreted. I'm one of them. I still don't know "what" "it" "is". I try to do right, though. I observe, when I can, the best that I can.
Voice hearing might also go into clairvoyance, clairaudience, "psychic" stuff, etc... It is all sort of tied, in ways, and I know some people seem to develop these things. The one time I visited a psychic, he really astonished me, and I have to admit- I am really a skeptic. The one thing he brought up that gets me, is he saw an image of me going to the grocery, and bringing a lot of bags home, seemingly a lot- only to find nothing in the bags. This resonated with my multiple food allergy-illness. The psychic I visited claimed to speak to the "spirit"- not plural. Just to mention.
I can't cover it all, every way. I'll drive myself crazy. Need to hand the baton off now.
What are others' experiences with voice hearing and other phenomena? When did it start? Do you believe they are something, or another? Have you rationalized it (or how do you try)? Did they come about with illness/injury/other trauma, death, etc? Were you really bad once? Do you also experience synchronicity? What do you make of them? I'd like to see others' experiences.
I kept this all inside- not telling anyone, and maintained function. I went to school (again) and failed- but this wasn't directly to do with any voice hearing. The voice hearing came along with a rise in pain in my life, as well. I began to feel my face hurt. The nerves were on fire, to fail at describing it. It was one of the most painful- if not the most painful thing I think I have ever experienced, and it lasted for years, until I started taking better care of myself- to begin with. Fish oil helped, as the disorder as I came to find, many years later, was a food allergy reaction to milk- that caused this particular pain and general discomfort. The oil helped with inflammation, which was the main cause for the pain. It was compressing the 5th Cranial- or Trigeminal Nerve, which supplies a lot of function/sensation to/from the facial regions. The symptoms very much mimicked something called Trigeminal Neuralgia, which has been called "Suicide Disease"- one of the most painful conditions a person can endure.
The voices were threatening at times- to begin with. They undeniably mirrored, or met up/went along with my state at the time. This nerve, as I have considered in the future, connects directly to the base of the brain- and via other parts (pons? I think?) the amygdala, and all the deep-primitive emotion areas- limbic system. I don't know completely as is obvious, but I have considered that this trauma caused some of these things to occur. Milk allergy has been tied to what has been interpreted as schizophrenia-like and other mental disorder-like symptoms, due to metabolites from the proteins not being processed, and the general wearing down on the body.
So I can't deny I have experienced a lot of disorder... but I don't feel that that defines me. And I don't feel that all of these symptoms were necessarily bad... but almost mechanisms of defense, and/or compensating in some way, or perhaps some emergency process- like fight or flight response might be interpreted, but on another level. I know many people who hear voices also suffered some trauma. They say people who develop multiple personalities due so to deal with things, and this- I have interpreted these voices, as kind of similar. In ways I can see them as me- my own voices, my own projections. There are a lot of factors- a lot more than I can list and have- I'm sure. My insecurities- my fear of things, makes me simulate personalities that I would want acceptance by. ...In ways maybe they came about due to some breaking/wearing down of natural filters.
But I can't deny that I have been really surprised by "them"- and so often recognize that whatever is employing them, even if in my head, should not be ignored. Not that I should kill someone just because I feel like it, to highlight that I take them- the voices- their words into account, not blindly. They- as I never, say to kill someone, or hurt anyone. In fact- they operate as part of my consciousness. I strive to impress "them" (although sometimes I do say "fuck it" like any human might). I feel I have become a better person through this, and have learned a lot.
I also see how they might be interpreted as spirit(s), angels, even demons. And they might be such. It is how we find/how we interpret. I mean what are we, really? Might we have the whole of everything locked away inside (holographic universe, and such)? This is sort of what I go by. That it is all accessible, even if we are limited beings, as we are. It makes us up. Angels might be aspects (and or ways to describe... thoughts a human can have). So might demons, and God/Gods (interpretations, often times missing certain faces). Perhaps the way we come to somewhat of a consensus sometimes (though not completely) as for shared religions/religious experiences, and those descriptions with "Michael", "Gabriel", "Raphael", or "Jesus" and "Horus", or "Quetzalcoatl" (And pixies, fairies, trolls, etc.)... might very well be the same as all of us have a head, though perhaps slightly different shape. Or, that we are born and die, for some example. The quotes can be left out. I mean no disrespect to the literal. Just trying to keep doors open.
I don't know.
Another thread that had some controversy recently, made me want to write this. I was told to seek medical attention, for seeing art (to me at least) and hearing voices in my life, and in and around things, so I wanted to offer this- here.
There are many people who hear voices who function normally- for all others know, and like to have them around, whatever they might be- however they might be interpreted. I'm one of them. I still don't know "what" "it" "is". I try to do right, though. I observe, when I can, the best that I can.
Voice hearing might also go into clairvoyance, clairaudience, "psychic" stuff, etc... It is all sort of tied, in ways, and I know some people seem to develop these things. The one time I visited a psychic, he really astonished me, and I have to admit- I am really a skeptic. The one thing he brought up that gets me, is he saw an image of me going to the grocery, and bringing a lot of bags home, seemingly a lot- only to find nothing in the bags. This resonated with my multiple food allergy-illness. The psychic I visited claimed to speak to the "spirit"- not plural. Just to mention.
I can't cover it all, every way. I'll drive myself crazy. Need to hand the baton off now.
What are others' experiences with voice hearing and other phenomena? When did it start? Do you believe they are something, or another? Have you rationalized it (or how do you try)? Did they come about with illness/injury/other trauma, death, etc? Were you really bad once? Do you also experience synchronicity? What do you make of them? I'd like to see others' experiences.
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