Well I have an elder brother , he's just 1 yr six months elder and i'm 20.. i basically cant remember we having a friendly chat or a bonding moment. when we were kids we always used to fight. when i look back at it right now , they were'nt like the fights ,you know, kids have.. they were different.. this was i guess till 8 or 9. and usually i was the trouble maker . and after that stage there was a time when i tried to bond with him. i wanted to look upto him , see him as a elder brother,someone who takes care of you and advices you. but he rejected all these attempts.. i guess it was because he was a maverick(i dont know wether thats a good usage ) i mean he was very artistic and all... and the strangest thing is that he was loving towards everyone else... his friends our cousins .. and they all loved him back ... and i once happened to read diary written by him in which he said that he loves me... but we were never able to show our love before eachother....by the age of 14 we almost stopped talking to each other..... then he went away to college and what ever conversation we had went to nil... then i went to college ... when i was at home and he was in college, our parents used to make us speak on phone.. now we have to call each other and .. we never do... we hardly speak .. and when we speak we speak for less than 2 minutes... right now he is at home .. so i called my father to speakabout somehing and he picked up ..so i was like where is father ? he's like 'outside, i'll ask himto call you back'.. awkward silence ...i say then bye .. he says bye and we hung up..,, i feel so weird that i am writing this ... i'm not even sure whether i love him or not and am i feeling weird because he's my brother and i HAVE to love him or something... i dont know....
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
virtually non existant relationship with brother.
- Thread starter varghese
- Start date
nooneanymore
Bluelighter
oh well.
I don't talk to anyone in my family anymore and I have siblings who are close in age. There's nothing to talk about anyway.
Sometimes people just grow apart. You can't really force relationships.
As people get older they spend most of their time working anyway.
Its joked about at my work that
people see each other at work more than
they see their spouses and families at home.
Its sad but true.
Get some hobbies or a gf. Preferably hobbies.
I don't talk to anyone in my family anymore and I have siblings who are close in age. There's nothing to talk about anyway.
Sometimes people just grow apart. You can't really force relationships.
As people get older they spend most of their time working anyway.
Its joked about at my work that
people see each other at work more than
they see their spouses and families at home.
Its sad but true.
Get some hobbies or a gf. Preferably hobbies.
dopemaster
Bluelight Crew
I have two sisters. They are best friends. They wont even have a conversation with their lil bro (me) unless its a family reunion and Im usually not invited. I havent seen or talked to one sister in five years. The other I saw for an hour about a year ago. Whenever I call them they either dont answer or they say they will call back which never happens. They have even unfriended me on facebook. We have a cousin in common and I am much closer to my cousin. Shes more of a sister to me than my sisters ever where.
So I guess sometimes family isnt always family. And your family is who you are close to. I can always call my ex wife if I want to talk to someone as shes more like a sister now that its been so long since we split.
So I guess sometimes family isnt always family. And your family is who you are close to. I can always call my ex wife if I want to talk to someone as shes more like a sister now that its been so long since we split.
nooneanymore
Bluelighter
^ real talk.
Alteast in the US, so much energy gets spent on concerns about the "family" but the post war nuclear family (independently sustained mom, dad, kids, etc... in a house together) has never been a strong institution.
In a racialized lens you can see this in national "talks" about the rise in the breakdown of black and minority families and the dominance of single parent households...
Additionally, the death or "myth" of the traditional family (ie IT DOESN'T EXIST) is what get US conservatives' panties in a bunch... they so much want the "family unit" to be one strong institution - BUT it never has been and it never will - so they're just left dreaming and yelling at each other (and everyone else) about a past that never happened.
Silly conservatives, "middle class families and values" are for kids.
^says the trix rabbit
Long story short, siblings can be as different as strangers on the street and that's "natural." Natural is in quotes for a reason. Ok? Thanks, bye.
Alteast in the US, so much energy gets spent on concerns about the "family" but the post war nuclear family (independently sustained mom, dad, kids, etc... in a house together) has never been a strong institution.
In a racialized lens you can see this in national "talks" about the rise in the breakdown of black and minority families and the dominance of single parent households...
Additionally, the death or "myth" of the traditional family (ie IT DOESN'T EXIST) is what get US conservatives' panties in a bunch... they so much want the "family unit" to be one strong institution - BUT it never has been and it never will - so they're just left dreaming and yelling at each other (and everyone else) about a past that never happened.
Silly conservatives, "middle class families and values" are for kids.
^says the trix rabbit
Long story short, siblings can be as different as strangers on the street and that's "natural." Natural is in quotes for a reason. Ok? Thanks, bye.
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You certainly do not 'have' to love nor he love you at all. Maybe he resents you as he was still a baby when you were born and you got all the attention which continued throughout your childhood? Maybe your parents favored you over him and he feels that it was your 'fault' that he missed out?
As you have both never really had a fall out (or reason not to love each other) then its just down to circumstances that neither one of you had control of. It's never too late to try and change the relationship you have. If you would like to grow the bond between the two of you then start now - phone him (not your mom or dad), and ask him for some advice (make it personal and something you couldn't speak to your mom or dad about). Make him feel like the bigger brother and see what happens?
Don't set out thinking that your both going to be the best friends ever - don't expect your instantly going to love (or respect) him but get talking.
llama112
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2010
- Messages
- 4,468
Wouldn't it be nice if every family was BFFs and got along all the time and all that ... but unfortunately that isn't true.
Why don't you learn a bit about him, like what he's doing for work or fun, see if there is something you can bond with him about. I mean, you've got to have something in common, even if it is something small.
Like Bearlove said - don't go into it thinking you're going to bond instantly and going to be the best of friends immediately. As with any friendship/relationship, it takes time to grow. You've got to be patient and keep working on it, consistently.
Why don't you learn a bit about him, like what he's doing for work or fun, see if there is something you can bond with him about. I mean, you've got to have something in common, even if it is something small.
Like Bearlove said - don't go into it thinking you're going to bond instantly and going to be the best of friends immediately. As with any friendship/relationship, it takes time to grow. You've got to be patient and keep working on it, consistently.
Jean-Paul
Bluelighter
haven't spoken to my brother in....almost 9 years. i like it that way. he's a piece of shit cop with a chip on his shoulder and aimless rage.
my littler half brother is a little sad for me, but not too much because i know he's turned out to be a disappointing product of that family. i was so hoping he'd go against the grain in some way =[
my littler half brother is a little sad for me, but not too much because i know he's turned out to be a disappointing product of that family. i was so hoping he'd go against the grain in some way =[
acidhermione
Bluelighter
Same situation with my sister. She's a year older. We always had a terse relationship but I genuinely tried and wanted her to like me. I would always try to impress her when I was younger and obey and worship her. When I grew older and realized that wasn't normal behavior I stopped and that's when things got really horrible.
We are just indifferent but she says things on a daily basis that cut me. You just got to accept it. My mum told me when we were very very young (baby/toddler/pre school) our nanny would tell my mum that when mum would leave us alone or go out my big sister would beat me or pinch me when i was just a baby. So I assume she just never got used to having a new baby sister and its always subconsciously repressed our relationship from ever developing normally.
We are just indifferent but she says things on a daily basis that cut me. You just got to accept it. My mum told me when we were very very young (baby/toddler/pre school) our nanny would tell my mum that when mum would leave us alone or go out my big sister would beat me or pinch me when i was just a baby. So I assume she just never got used to having a new baby sister and its always subconsciously repressed our relationship from ever developing normally.
Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
I'm 22 and my brother is 23. I haven't spoken to him in 5 years? I don't like him. People say blood is thicker than whatever but it comes down to whether you gas get along or not.
hazmatz
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
- Messages
- 134
This thread makes me sad 
I love my brother and sister to death. My brother is 5 years older than me but we can talk about anything. My sister is a year younger and she's one of my best friends. When we were all younger, we hated eachother actually. But when my parents divorced and started leaving the house all the time, it was just us 3 kids and we had to get by by ourselves. I'm glad I have them. I dont know what I'd do without them.
I love my brother and sister to death. My brother is 5 years older than me but we can talk about anything. My sister is a year younger and she's one of my best friends. When we were all younger, we hated eachother actually. But when my parents divorced and started leaving the house all the time, it was just us 3 kids and we had to get by by ourselves. I'm glad I have them. I dont know what I'd do without them.
coors light
Bluelighter
my siblings are all over ten years older than me so we never bounded the way siblings of a similar age would. I get on with most of them but I dont talk to my older brother at all because he is an asshole, dont talk to my father either but hes a nice guy hes just stubborn like myself.