Hey guys, so I recently started experimenting with psychedelics and I appear to be having some issues. I'll try to keep this short for the reader's sake.
When I first took a single tab of acid (around 110ug), I expected to be somewhat in total control of myself. Now I understand that this is not by any means a strong trip but as a first time dose I believe this is about right. I thought that it may smooth out the come-up of the acid by smoking copious amounts of weed. I feel as though this was maybe my first mistake. I've never particularly enjoyed weed and nor have I understood why it is so popular, so it probably wasn't a good idea to mix a drug that I hardly liked with a drug I had never taken.
This trip began quite nicely, however, and I was beginning to enjoy it. About and hour and a half into the trip, I have a sickening thought. I actually have an auditory hallucination of the sound of my neck being slowly crushed by a car tyre and the mental image to accompany it. I instantly sat bolt upright and attempted to get the image and sound out of my head, but they kept replaying over and over. It really affected me and I have no idea why this happened. It ruined my trip that night.
My heart rate began to increase from what I would imagine was fear. I was scared the images would come back and I wouldn't be able to cope. I began to have mental images of my heart being turned inside-out/exploding. Needless to say, that's a fear of mine and I hope I speak for everybody when I say that it's a natural fear. Having your heart explode isn't something many people opt to experience.
Eventually the trip ended and I was glad. I said I'd not touch acid again for a while so that I had time to sort myself out. During this time I made some particularly strong weed brownies. I am enjoying sitting with my girlfriend whilst we giggle away to a film on the TV. Suddenly she sits up and says "Your heart is beating really fast, it sounds unhealthy". I give her my pokerface and tell her it's probably nothing to worry about. I am worried. It takes me back to my LSD experience and I don't enjoy it. Is this what is called anxiety and paranoia?
The second time I took acid, I decided to do it during the day time and do it alone to see if I could concentrate on what I'm doing. I played with my cat, listened to music, thought happy thoughts and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was beautiful and I was upset I had doubted the drug. I put the weird, sickening thoughts down to the weed and decided I shouldn't ever mix LSD and weed again.
My most recent acid trip, I took a tab with my friend when his trip had finished and he was ready to sit for me. Shit got intense fast and I had to sit down. My thoughts started to morph into horrible, violent thoughts again of my neck being torn to pieces (my neck and heart appear to recurring themes). I managed to fend the thoughts off and try to enjoy the remainder of my trip. It ruined the peak for me though.
So my question to BL, what is wrong with me? Do I have a mental health concern? Has anybody else experienced this and is it possible to get around it? Sorry it's a long post. I felt I needed to cover some things.
When I first took a single tab of acid (around 110ug), I expected to be somewhat in total control of myself. Now I understand that this is not by any means a strong trip but as a first time dose I believe this is about right. I thought that it may smooth out the come-up of the acid by smoking copious amounts of weed. I feel as though this was maybe my first mistake. I've never particularly enjoyed weed and nor have I understood why it is so popular, so it probably wasn't a good idea to mix a drug that I hardly liked with a drug I had never taken.
This trip began quite nicely, however, and I was beginning to enjoy it. About and hour and a half into the trip, I have a sickening thought. I actually have an auditory hallucination of the sound of my neck being slowly crushed by a car tyre and the mental image to accompany it. I instantly sat bolt upright and attempted to get the image and sound out of my head, but they kept replaying over and over. It really affected me and I have no idea why this happened. It ruined my trip that night.
My heart rate began to increase from what I would imagine was fear. I was scared the images would come back and I wouldn't be able to cope. I began to have mental images of my heart being turned inside-out/exploding. Needless to say, that's a fear of mine and I hope I speak for everybody when I say that it's a natural fear. Having your heart explode isn't something many people opt to experience.
Eventually the trip ended and I was glad. I said I'd not touch acid again for a while so that I had time to sort myself out. During this time I made some particularly strong weed brownies. I am enjoying sitting with my girlfriend whilst we giggle away to a film on the TV. Suddenly she sits up and says "Your heart is beating really fast, it sounds unhealthy". I give her my pokerface and tell her it's probably nothing to worry about. I am worried. It takes me back to my LSD experience and I don't enjoy it. Is this what is called anxiety and paranoia?
The second time I took acid, I decided to do it during the day time and do it alone to see if I could concentrate on what I'm doing. I played with my cat, listened to music, thought happy thoughts and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was beautiful and I was upset I had doubted the drug. I put the weird, sickening thoughts down to the weed and decided I shouldn't ever mix LSD and weed again.
My most recent acid trip, I took a tab with my friend when his trip had finished and he was ready to sit for me. Shit got intense fast and I had to sit down. My thoughts started to morph into horrible, violent thoughts again of my neck being torn to pieces (my neck and heart appear to recurring themes). I managed to fend the thoughts off and try to enjoy the remainder of my trip. It ruined the peak for me though.
So my question to BL, what is wrong with me? Do I have a mental health concern? Has anybody else experienced this and is it possible to get around it? Sorry it's a long post. I felt I needed to cover some things.