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Violence Song III

Raz

Raz

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
7,329
Location
In an igloo made of asbestos and chicken-wire.
I hope I find somebody to hit tonight.

I remember your face when I left work, the fear and the way you stepped out of my way and the dawning that I'm not just the quiet one; that it's the quiet ones you gotta look out for.

I was looking you over as blood stormed through my veins and carried me through the city; fingers clenched into angry fists, eyes narrowed into angry slits. An angry man then, making his way to an appointment he's late for.

I searched for you on the train, looked for the one with that winning combination of weakness and stamina; somebody to bruise, somebody to cut, somebody to throttle and choke and bleed. Somebody to exhaust me for a while.

The fantasy of hurting you is like a protracted orgasm. The reality is a quick wank. It's the song I can't get out of my head, the one that buzzes and infiltrates until it's stuck there but good. It's the song I hate. It's the song I hate.
 
Wow, there seems to be a lot of cruelty and darkness doing the rounds in Words at the moment!

This could really be the beginning of something major, I think.

These lines are fantastic:

I was looking you over as blood stormed through my veins and carried me through the city; fingers clenched into angry fists, eyes narrowed into angry slits.
Click to expand...

And I think this line stands out, probably because it's more understated than the other expressions of violent desire in the piece:

Somebody to exhaust me for a while.
Click to expand...
 
Narrator: [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.

As always Raz: Searching words fueled with excess emotion. Thanx :)

(Wordy): maybe tis time i wrote here again ;)
 
Raz, you're an awesome writer. It's what you should be doing with your life and I'm glad you're following it up [let's just hope you follow through].

<3

Although sometimes you scare me. ;)
 
i am rather small, and frankly, not threatening at all, i identify with this.... i remember sitting at the back of the high school bus, thinking thoughts much like that--although not so poetic.

your words are concise and express your thoughts well.

i like it.
 
m4dd0g said:
Narrator: [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.

As always Raz: Searching words fueled with excess emotion. Thanx :)
Click to expand...
I just saw Fight Club for the first time the other day....that's an awesome compliment m4dd0g, thanks! :D
 
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