Very worried about a family member

[brandonh354]

I honestly dont know if this belongs here feel free to move. I live with my grandfather who is getting old. I worry about him because he is drinking him self to death.
He drinks a half a gallon of jack daniels, half a gallon of bacardi, and 3 40 ounce ice houses every week its getting worse and worse every day hes drunk all day. Hes been drinking like this for as long as i can remember. Ive calculated that he drinks a half a gallon every 2-3 days. hes starting to lose his mind. What kind of damage can this kind of drinking cause? He hasnt seen a doctor in 40+ years he doesnt believe in medicine. Any feed back is apreciated im very concerned to what this kind of drinking can cause

 

[Coraline]

I don't know the circumstances. If he is deemed competent he can do what ever he wants. It's his right to drink him self stupid.

If he is incompetent, you have options. Call a social worker like APS.

I went threw the same worries with my mom. She just drinks and eats little. I talked with someone from APS and that's what they told me. It's very sad to see people in these conditions. But it is their right to be like this. I really do feel for you and there is really nothing you can do besides express your concerns with him and your family.

 

[brandonh354]

It might sound very weird. But he is super smart like book smart any math problem u give him he will solve in his head its crazy but he is very incompetent when it comes to common sense he has none i will def. Contact a place like aps to see if there is anything i can do i apreciate the post man

 

[mrflowers00]

it'll kill him sorry for your situation

 

[brandonh354]

What kind of damage can alcohol cause other than damage to the liver thinking about it scares me but i have man up learn what i can catch him sober and lay down the facts my concerns and hope for the best

 

[Coraline]

There is a ton of damage from chronic alcohol abuse/ use from psychosis to organ damage. You would have better luck googling chronic alcohol abuse and read on from there.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

the problem isn't the damage the drinking does its the damage it does when he is not drinking. Once you get up to drinking that much daily you can't simply quit. Not drinking will give him possible DEMENTIA which means hearing voices, seeing things, hearing things, He will get horrible shakes, he will get possible fever, he may even have a serizer and die. Problem is his body is so used to having alchol he cna't simply quit. Its horrible when this happens.

If won't see a doctor.. your out luck because only way heavy drinkers get off of the booze is .
A. DETOX (at his level he needs medical attention while detoxing else might die)
B. Drug Detox (gets meds like valium to help the WD so he can get off the drinking)

The main thing I can tell you here is at his level he can't simply just quit, its not will power its impossible... the pain, and the level he as at he might risk his life just quitting...

Maybe sit him down talk to him tell him how much its hurting you and see if go see a doctor about getting meds to get off the drinking
If keeps drinking he not only could get liver damage forever, but mental damage such as wet brain where he won't be all there anymore, plus the WD is painfull and causes long term damage IMO

 

[brandonh354]

I give up i read many articles i showed him the articles i explained my worries and all he said is well im still here arnt i? Thanks for all the posts everyone i have learned alot about alcohol. Im not him but reading symptoms of liver damage and dementia he shows almost every single symptom from the splotchy red rosacea to mental health to yellow eyes. Again thanks everyone im just going to enjoy life with him and hold on to all the special moments i can

 

[Albion]

Moving this over to The Dark Side for you...Should get some great advice there.

 

[Deleted member 170540]

It might sound very weird. But he is super smart like book smart any math problem u give him he will solve in his head its crazy but he is very incompetent when it comes to common sense he has none i will def. Contact a place like aps to see if there is anything i can do i apreciate the post man

Being able to perform difficult mental calculations but at the same time having no common sense in practical life sounds like Asperger syndrome... I have it and I'm also an alcoholic. Typical symptoms of aspergers are inflexible adherence to routines and strange hobbies.

 

[herbavore]

I give up ........... im just going to enjoy life with him and hold on to all the special moments i can

I am so sorry that you and your grandfather are locked in this situation. You are one special grandson. Your compassion comes across in your posts. I am sure that you are making his life, with all of the misery caused by his addiction to alcohol, worth living. How old is your grandfather? If he is quite elderly, you are probably right to simply accept what he is doing and to maximize your time with him while you have it. However, if he is in his 50's or 60's maybe he could handle detox and rehab and everything he would have to go through. Regardless, the decision is his as you so wisely stated. What kind of support are you getting for you? I found al-anon to be helpful for me to discuss my feelings and to get the support I needed to combat that irrational need in me to make everything ok for my loved one. You have all my sympathy.

 

[brandonh354]

He is 67 i currently dont go to any support group i kinda ball up all my feelings and forget about them. I used to smoke green daily that was my support but i think its time to grow up im on my 5th day smoke free. I wouldnt dare drink to cope due to seeing what it can do to you. I think a support group would help alot. I understand everyone has their own problems i feel bad in way now discussing my grandfathers problems when i my self have a little pill addiction i think i might propose to him that ill kick my addiction if he kicks his and we can both live a sober life and help eachother out i think that will be my last resort before i accept it like i said in my other reply

 

[herbavore]

I think that is a very cool idea. I wonder what he will say? He will probably feel very differently talking about addiction if he doesn't feel it is all focused on him. Also, he may well be so motivated by his desire to not see this happen to you that he will consider doing something to change his circumstances. I've gotta say it again, you are a wonderful grandson!