Very unhappy and unsatisfied with my life

Roger32

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
289
stopped using any and all drugs outside of alcohol in December on account of possible pre employment drug test.

Been unable to find a satisfactory job. Recently graduated college, and still no luck. Not even getting interviews. 4 interviews total since December.

not enough money, no girl, no good job, is getting very depressing. I am very lonely and want to find a girl, but I am looking for a long term relationship, possibly marriage, and I do not want to meet a girl until I am in a stabledecently paying job.


Really down on life. Never thought getting a middle class career would be so tough (since I went to college, and have worked since I was 14)
 
i can relate

Hey man. Im 32. Didn't even finish high school.. had a kid when I was 15.. did some little shit.. did some big shit things were good. Disaster struck. I lost almost everything. I went from working hard and making money I was happy with to not working and living off what I saved until that ran out. I used to have a house in the country and a fucking awesome apt. Downtown.. now I live in the worst part of the city. I was depressed and probably should be and I spent a lot of time doing nothing productive... I didn't realize that I could have and should have worked harder when I had the chance and am now taking dexidrine(why im on this site) to help me accomplish what I need to. My situation is different but I hope you can see its not easy to get, or stay where you want to be so don't get anymore depressed than you should for any longer than you need. Good luck..
 
Mate I'm sorry to hear this. I know it is really frustrating and disheartening to know what you need, and be actively trying to achieve it, but not getting anywhere.

I think you might be placing too much pressure on yourself to achieve all your goals in the way you had originally planned, i.e. get a good job/career, then get some money, then find a wife. You may need to loosen your plans a bit and be prepared for things to happen differently to how you imagined. If you are depressed and lonely, I personally think that finding a companion should be a higher priority because when you find a nice girl, that will boost your morale and self-esteem. This in turn may help you get a good job.

Have you got a job at all at the moment? Any job is better than no job, so just keep on track with the job you have and your preferred job will come along whenever it does. The important thing is that you've got some kind of work in the meantime, and just keep applying for interviews, you will get in to something eventually.
 
when all else fails...try temp agencies

I sent emails to recruiters at the 3 most prevalent temp agencys I see when searching for a job.

I work 30 hours a week, no benefits, $12 an hour. Job is manual labor, but not terrible, so I said to recruiters I want something at least 3-4 months long or temp to hire (I do not want to get stuck without a job). Did not get a single email back.

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I got a job at a temp agency, its only 8 an hr and 12 for over time, steel factory, they don't hire in, but I'm a steady worker there and have my job secured as long as I don't fuck up. I'm surprised that they didn't reply to you, but often times they just send the people out who show up in the morning at the office for a job and can't be fucked to bother with emails and phone calls.
 
I sent emails to recruiters at the 3 most prevalent temp agencys I see when searching for a job.

I work 30 hours a week, no benefits, $12 an hour. Job is manual labor, but not terrible, so I said to recruiters I want something at least 3-4 months long or temp to hire (I do not want to get stuck without a job). Did not get a single email back.

You just gotta keep trying man, don't give up. Like I said, you will get something eventually.
 
stopped using any and all drugs outside of alcohol in December on account of possible pre employment drug test.

Been unable to find a satisfactory job. Recently graduated college, and still no luck. Not even getting interviews. 4 interviews total since December.

not enough money, no girl, no good job, is getting very depressing. I am very lonely and want to find a girl, but I am looking for a long term relationship, possibly marriage, and I do not want to meet a girl until I am in a stabledecently paying job.


Really down on life. Never thought getting a middle class career would be so tough (since I went to college, and have worked since I was 14)



Sorry to hear about your luck bro but I promise you it will get better. Good things come to those who wait patiently........you "will" get the job & girl that you've been looking for. Just dont get too depressed over things you have no control over but do have faith in yourself that you will get a job & the girl.
 
I just graduated too last week actually. I was done with everything all ready but was just finishing up my internship.
Our university is known for having some of the best work placement in NJ and allegedly destroys rutgers when it comes to that. I've set up 4 interviews so far and am going through a process of "cherry picking" thats how many place I'm finding.

I'm going to tell you 2 things that are sorta common sense, but they WILL make or break an employment offer and I notice it with every graduate I talk to. Its the same thing over and over and over.

1) Although you just finished colleges degrees are about a dime a dozen now and days, and companies like to see a few basic things on your resume that I noticed make a HUGE difference. I also did research for my school and I have research that suggests this also so trust me it will help only if you haven't done these things already.

Volunteer work for almost anything is HUGE. And along with volunteer work another major thing these companies look at is whether you completed an internship, and even how many you've done. I was submitting my resume 2 years ago before I even graduated, w/out those 2 things, submitted it about 60 times and only got 1 phone call back. And that 1 phone call was a bs job.

Fast forward 2 years. I have **2 internships**, one working at a senior home, another working a homeless shelter, then another 2 positions I volunteered for completely seperate. I also didn't get paid for any of this shit. People like to see that you're a self starter number one. And number 2 these things show that you are willing to do more than just get your degree.

They even had a talk on this on 101.5 last week and hundreds of college graduates were calling in about the work situation. I noticed over and over and over the people getting jobs, were all the ones who had completed one or more internships, and also had volunteer work on their resume. The ones who were not getting jobs, were the ones who literally just graduated and had done NOTHING at all independently in their field.

Although our school forces us to do 1 internship, I did another just because I knew how important it would be. I was told this too over and over by my work placement advisor, she is WONDERFUL. You should find one from your uni. And another thing that was interesting was the difference in sex. I noticed a shocking majority of the people doing this stuff were females. And a lot of them were also finding work (I also have a lot of female friends who I saw bust their asses in college, and a lot of my male friends were slackers except for one literally). Guys tend to think "oh I don't need to do that shit I'm a guy" etc. If you don't have any of this stuff on your resume, I'd honesty stop looking for a career and finish this crap first.

2) The resume all by itself. It will take me 100 pages to right everything I've learned about this. But my older brothers wife is like the human resources executive of At&t. She makes a lot of money and all she does is hire and interview people. Both college graduates and people who have been working computers for 30+ years. Between her and my work place advisor, they both worked some SERIOUS SERIOUS fucking magic on my resume. I've rerewrote it this last year alone about 15 times, and now what I have now is a refined piece of gold. Find someone from your school, anyone who will help you with this, someone who KNOWS what they're doing. Not someone who's just made a resume before, as most people don't know shit about it.

3) I know I said 2 but I lied. =]
2 small tips I've learned. It is MUCH easier to get a job when you already have one. Almost does not even matter what the job is, but when you have a job people will hire you. When you don't, it makes it very very difficult. Its kind of a catch 22. But if you're having a problem finding "satisfactory" work, intentionally take an unsatisfactory job and work it parttime for just 3 months. While you have that job work on your resume and go career hunting.

And my last tip. A lot of my folks have been mentioning to relatives/friends and stuff how I'm not having trouble finding work. Cause for one I have like 3 people in my nonimmediate family who have been out of work for years. But another thing I have on my resume that they and a lot of people don't is a small business I started on my own. This is the pinnacle of being a "self starter", and more impressive to hiring person than an internship or some volunteer work. I never put this on my first resume that I was sending out. And even though it was a small bs business, it was a business and I made money from it.

I genuinely believe these few things matter A LOT.
Volunteer work in your field, internships, get your resume done by a pro, or even pay for a class, some charge as much as $5000 just to show these skills people don't pay that much for no reason. This stuff is VERY valuable. If you have a job already it will help so like I said ANY bs job to show you're not the type of person to lounge around and slack for months on end. And honestly if you even have to make up some small business I would likely have even lied on my resume about that even if I didn't have one in the past. I have statments/a license number to prove it but noones ever asked me to prove I owned a business from a resume lol.

And last (official last) I KNOW its hard. But stay the fuck away from the drugs. I went through the same cycle these last 4 years going back and forth but I was able to consistently keep doing little things too that actually helped even on drugs. Its very easy to wanna sit around high on the computer and not wanna do shit. But the computer is boring. And although theres online dating you're very unlikely to find your wife on the internet. Plenty of fish and match.com/eharmony suck. Its just the truth. 1 out of every 10000 people might find a husband/wife but try to stay away from the computer unless you're using it for productive reasons. Thats another major issue with me.

I do commend you though because I'm the same way you are. I've wanted a gf for the last 6 years or so but I always push them away after ONS's (one night stands) because a girl who would date a guy w/out a stable career (me) is loser. I don't wanna date a loser and be a loser. I wanna become a winner and find myself a winner. Someone I can go to London with, Italy, Bahamas, etc etc. I know how it is man its a weird transitional stage and its easy to get stuck but keep your head up and never get down on yourself. We have so many obligations to find a career, be rich and successful... in a country as fucked up as this is, meet the girl/man of our dreams... our "soulmate" (lulz yeh right) that we wind up getting sick of fucking in 2 years. For what? So we can have a nice house, little annoying kids that scream and shit everywhere, 1-2 vacations a year while the rest of the year we're slaves to our job... ugh. I could have definitely thought of a better life than that but I guess this is growing up.
Do less drugs, swallow more stress, save money.... it comes become overwhelming really quick.

Thats why right now just write 1 thing on a piece of paper to accomplish tommorow that will help get you closer to your goals. Then do it. =] Soon enough you will get there.

G/luck and if you ever got any questions or just wanna whine and bitch about life be my guest and pm a brother.
 
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Thanks Bojangles. It is is appreciated.

You mention volunteer work, but wouldn't regular work come before that? No one seems to give a shit that I have worked Monday-Friday while going to school. Everyone of my employers would have only positive things to say about me.

As for my resume, I am not an expert, but I am a competent writer and have showed it to my parents and such. It is an appropriately worded summary of my education and work history. Do not think anything more is necessary on that front.
 
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