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Very Serious Question

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lariyn

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Joined
Sep 26, 2005
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45
Very Serious Question - someones mental health is at stake!

Ok long user of drugs sense i was in second grade. weed, coke/crack, heroin up until i reached 16 years old then dxm everyday it seemed with some breaks until 22 or so. after 16 is used everything from 2c-i, and dmt, to mdma and crack, cant forget nitrus, and ether.

I had a psychotic break i guess from what they say and was on haldol for over a year and half. they were sending signals thru tv, voices, hallusinations all the above and i see it that alot of what i thought was real atm may be fake now.

Question - I am not on meds, people are starting to start talking about me every where i go, and i have been hearing some voices, plus an episode of delusion of reference. Should i go get on meds, i dont know if i am really go insane, i think im fine, but as i get older i see that mental health is no joke. i use no drugs atm too so thats why i am like wtf before my previous episode i used mdma 4 times a week with at least 4 pills a drop with some shrooms to top it off. If i had my way i would be so fucked up i wouldnt really know where i am, i love that, asking everyone stuff like "Where am I," and "What am I on" I take getting fucked up as no joke. I cannot use because mental reasons, and i wish to program later in life i have been programming sense 7th grade and from what people say makes no sense how smart i am for what i have done.

So I go on meds? And does this sound like schizophrenia, as i understand it if your schizo you do not recover then have another episode right, you would just get worse and worse. sense i have been better than its prob Severe Bipolar with Psychotic Traits, any info I would love.

Plus i have no memory left, getting a bowl a cerial takes effort i as i loose the bowl at least 3 times before i get one bite. Once i finish a sentence its like gone wtf did i just say, forget what i am saying as i talk to. I walk around the couch in circles for hours, i am in hell from the akathesia from the haldol. I cannot use anymore because it is torture can anyone HELP? Last episode i couldnt find the gun to kill my self, please i do not want to get there again, as i am not depressed atm but still do not want to go down that road. Please SOMEONE HELP!

and please enjoy this music while you read what i wrote - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psoOyJ0rYHg&p=E5EEC4CF0CBA7530&index=5&playnext=3 Well ima go programming my game engine and ANN that ive been working on for 6 years now peace lates, keep LEARNING

And Mods move this topic if there is a better home for this!
 
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I would talk to someone that is genuinely interested in your predicament IRL. Maybe you don't need to go back on your meds but I would suggest talking to a counselor that is a neutral party in your situation. Nobody on the internet is gonna be able to completely resolve your issues. But my advice would be to keep abstaining from drugs including cannabis, take supplements, and exercise regularly. Those will help immensely no matter what the issue ime.
 
and btw even i would say ive gone over the edge fucking dmt took me to the aliens, and i god came to me on shrooms, plus cannot forget seritonin syndrom on effexor and dxm with the heroin overdose too. lol everyone thank god we are alive!

i talked to some docs yesterday, friday. they told me im not bad enough to be readmitted. Like im not psychotic, ill tell you that 100%. just feels like filter on brain is broke and i experience everything all at same time and stuff gets mixxed up. antipschotics only thing that helps which is only reason i take them. anyways what is IRL thanks for info so fast!

nm i see what irl is ive played more than enough eq. talked to everyone i know in irl, and they either shut off or give bad input, if anyone can help thanks again! Ill say it i have avoidant personality disorder, plus add makes it hard to organize into, wish i would explain how fucked my head is, and kinda loner so not many friends. could a moderator put my posts into one post, or delete extra ones, if so thanks! sorry i get excited fast!
 
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just woundering if there is a website for this type of stuff. thought this site would ok place to start as this problem i believe is a direct result from drugs, they broke me brain! sorry if it seems i cannot wait, ill be patient from this point on!
 
do not be worry as you just sent me in the correct dirrection! Thank you so much.
Off i go!

plus ive been brain washed, have a lock on me, stupid gangsters are trying to get me, feel like im in a box if you understand that! did what i just say sound a little crazy, does to me just you have to live it! Only asking here cause at family house i get threatened by everyone there, they do not like helping someone who is not psychotic like IM FAKING THIS SHIT! well thanks for info!

And BTW it is so hard to think that while driving this morning i was going between 65-75mph, as i usuually drive 75. My car hit the dirt and rotated slightly then BAM rolled so many times just a blur i do not want to exagerate but at least 4 times, and over 8 rolls would not suprise me, man once it started rolling there was no end. I rolled down the side of a hill no joke pollice and everyone who helped could not understand wtf how i was walking around even. walked away but totaled my car. i cannot explain how crazy that was.
 
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dude i hope things change for you. sounds pretty shitty inside your head. seriously reading through that made my heart drop. it makes my sad that people have to deal with that while very few people seem to give a shit. best of luck man.
 
well thanks guys, i will come back later to see if updates. but at least i got some solid responses. Plus im really not look for a shoulder to cry on just info if you know what i mean, you cannot be a pussy and do DMT on a normal basis! again not trying to be a dick just saying that you should be happy along with me that i handled it as well as i "could," no one can really handle that shit. this is alot to do with the fack that i was unable to find the gun, i have no idea how i am alive from how many times ive come close, damn past my 9 and i had a plan for the last one!

If you did not get that talkin bought lives. Is this normal btw after rolling my car to try and get me friend to punch my in the face, for example "i was like yeah bring it" I can be crazy sometimes
 
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ok once again believe i said this, that ima not crazy just they brain washed me, and that led to voices and hallusinations, but im in no way crazy majority of what docs said are delusions are visible in plain sight, even for a blind man!
 
you should go and speak to your doctor, and take the advice from Detrevni about
abstaining from drugs including cannabis, as they do make it worse,
people here can only offer advice, please take their advice, the sooner the better,
A lot of what you are describing does sound like schizophrenia,
i lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 6 years and he had all of what you are describing,
 
your right and concreted into place what i previously decided. Never done this before, as that stuff actually was seen from me before; for example i never told them more than squat, anyones including friends/family. I remember yelling at my social worker cause she was working with the mexican mofia and they were recording my conversations.
 
ok once again believe i said this, that ima not crazy just they brain washed me, and that led to voices and hallusinations, but im in no way crazy majority of what docs said are delusions are visible in plain sight, even for a blind man! wow i just sent over half an hour, maybe like 45 minutes, just to do once post i cannot remember ANYTHING.

Mental processes around the board are down, but what i am good at is better than was no someone who has no pasion, or drive in there life, memory is so bad please someone make a perfect mem drug!, but cuoldnt do really high level tought. took me almost half-hour minutes responses up.
 
The symptoms that you describe seem to fall in line with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. You should seek help from a qualified mental health professional so you can get properly screened. Yes, you should probably go back on medications and it would be in your best interest not to stop taking those medications again. I know how tough it can be to accept a diagnosis. I have bipolar disorder and I quit taking my meds for a few years. Then I got very sick again so I went back on my meds and I have had no issues since then.

Be honest with your doctor and whoever screens you, especially about your drug use. Your drug use really needs to be taken into account for you to receive an accurate diagnosis and to ensure that you receive proper treatment.
 
yeah ima be honest, expecting no good really. went into ward for month first time this happened then many time sense. i do not want to return, here we go lariyn put your seat belt on this ganna suck!
 
Things will get better if you do things to help yourself get better. Basically if it took you a year of abuse for you to feel like this expect it to take a year to feel back to your old self, however i'm sure you would feel %+80 better way before that. Stay in touch with "the dark side" that helped me out lots this past year. Good luck man.
 
people from the obvservation unit are coming as wel speak so thanks for all the input everyone. late
 
You should go see a doctor right away :/ your not crazy, but all the drugs at a younger age probably screwed up how your brain developed, i REALLY hope you get everything back on track and can do things in the future, best of luck to you man, i really hope things work out.
 
well im on serique and stuff l now. im doing better. its just when i started hallusinating the first time i always had severe panic attacks for days and didnt sleep for 9 day streight sometimes in panic attacks all day and night. while hallusinating and seeing palice sirens everywhere and in my house and i threw all my shit away destrotyed everything and would not eat because i believed they were poinsining my food. so im am scared of going back to that state. i was seeing my self go south before this. but im on seriuqel now and im better thank all.
 
It's good to hear that your situation is improving. I hope your recovery goes strong.
 
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