Stimulants Very scary reaction to meth

[snowy1012]

I'm almost 21, 5'11", about 147lbs at last check. Don't exercise.

I've been doing meth orally since Friday night... No stimulant tolerance. I did 30mg Friday night, 30mg Saturday, about 26mg Sunday, and 30mg at 6:15AM this morning. As I post this, it's 2:39 PM EST. I haven't gotten any sleep for three nights.

So, I've been having a pretty rough time... Right from the start pretty much. Saturday I was getting chest pressure and trouble breathing... Pretty scary. On Sunday it got worse. Much of the day I was having palpitations, shortness of breath, weakness, not thinking clearly... And today it might be even worse. 3 hours after I took my dose, shit started hitting the fan. The chest pressure and trouble breathing is even worse. It's now 8 and a half hours after my last dose. And occasionally I feel a minor earthquake... Oh, and how could I forget, massive sweating! Soaked!

As far as my vitals... My blood pressure has varied from normal to low. My pulse has been like 120 on average, but when the blood pressure drops, the pulse also drops. Feeling out of it. Walking feels weird... Vision kinda blurry.

Not long ago my blood pressure dropped to 63/47!!!!!!!!! Not good! My heart obviously isn't working correctly... Congestive heart failure?

I've actually been having this shit happen to me every time I take stimulants this year. Last year I used quite a lot of stimulants. Mostly amp sulfate and Adderall, but also some research chems. Last summer I lifted weights on amp sulfate. Last fall I took quite a lot of amphetamine combined with Phenibut. I think one of those two things, or both, did some significant damage to my heart. Hell, whenever the amp sulfate/phenibut combo wore off, I'd get some pretty serious chest tightness, trouble breathing and vasoconstriction... But I didn't think much of it at first. But as time progressed, any time I took a good dose of Addy or amp sulfate, I'd have serious chest pressure and trouble breathing... And it started getting scary.

Actually, before I started having those issues, I called 911 because of what was apparently a really bad comedown from Adderall. I took something like 100mg spread out throughout the night doing an all nighter. 4 hours after my last dose, my heart started going crazy, the ground started to get a little wavy, walking just felt screwed up... I went to the library to chill and my body started overheating, I started sweating buckets, and my heart was pounding and racing. When I got into the ambulance, I guess my BP was okay but my pulse was very elevated. I got into the hospital and they gave me Ativan. My pulse took until the next day to return to a fairly normal rate. Oh, and when I first got to the hospital, a nurse said my ankles were a little swollen.

In late January of this year, I had another very scary reaction to meth. That time I took roughly 50mg on two consecutive nights, total of around 100mg. The second night, I started getting stomach pain... And then my chest got extremely tight and it got really hard to breathe. And my heart was just acting weird. Pounding, palpitations, irregular heartbeat, fluctuating pulse... I thought I was overheating so I started pouring water on myself and wrapping myself in a cold wet towel. That actually helped, temporarily... But eventually I couldn't keep up. I'd wrap myself in a towel, and the towel would very quickly heat up. By the time I could pour some more cold water, I could barely breathe and I was very hot. Soooo I went outside in very cold weather, naked, which actually made me feel better, until I was dragged back inside. Things got bad again, but I survived...

Then in March I took a crazy amount of 4-fa spread out throughout a night, while on Lexapro. Serotonin releases don't work if you're on SSRIs, but I just couldn't help myself... Ended up in the same boat, except that time I knew I did something ridiculously stupid and knew that my life was probably in imminent danger, so I called 911. Oddly, when I stood up waiting for the ambulance, I felt better. When I got to the hospital and laid in the hospital bed, things quickly went south. My heart was messed up... The waves were all messed up, something like that... I got IV potassium, and eventually I got better.

Also in March, I snorted probably 100mg of 2-fa spread out throughout a night, and I went through pretty much the same shit the next morning. Felt really friggin weak, when I got up to move/walk, I thought I was gonna drop dead.

At the end of March, I had a terrifying experience with meth. The thing is, I don't think it was actually meth. Some other bullshit. I took quite a bit of whatever it was, because it wasn't working... And then over the course of many hours, I progressively seemed to get closer to death... Pretty much the same symptoms, really severe. And then, my neck started having a really bad pain. I thought that was gonna be the end of me, but hey, I rode through it and survived.

And thennnnn... Sometime in June, I took 3-fa for a few days. On the last day, I had the same scary shit happen.

Last one... I think early July, something like that, I did a Vyvanse binge with a friend from a mental health therapy group lol... I took maybe 240mg spread out throughout the night, she probably took 100mg more than me lol. She was totally fine, calm... I was freaking out. Thought I was dying. I felt bad that she had to deal with me like that. Same symptoms as before. I went home and checked my bp... It was like 175/135. I guess from walking... Then it became more normal but I kept experiencing those same symptoms for hours.

Oh, I forgot to mention... Every one of those instances, I sweated like crazy.....

Let me be clear: Those scary experiences were literally the only times I took stimulants this year. I've been stimulant free for 95% of this year. But, every single time I used a stimulant, it very quickly devolved into a complete disaster... Apparently I can only take very low doses of stims without seemingly risking death...

Due to my several scary stimulant experiences with these same symptoms, I knew I had to be careful with my dosages. 30mg a day orally is pretty reasonable right? Even if I don't have a tolerance? Pretty sure it is. Obviously this isn't an overdose. My heart apparently can't tolerate stimulants anymore.

Back to the present: I'm pretty sure I'm getting edema... Water retention... But maybe that's paranoia. I know one thing, my stomach seems to swell and get soft/mushy when this happens. And I swear, drinking water makes me feel worse...

I'm not eating much but today I had 2 granola bars and a chobani yogurt...

Sorry about the rambling... My brain is pretty screwed up lol. My grandma insists that everything's in my head but that's obviously not the case... Well that's basically what she said every time I was probably dying... That greatly reduces my likelihood of calling 911...

Oh, here's an important detail: I've been taking vitamins and supplements this time around. Vitamin C, vitamin b, magnesium, zinc, potassium, l-theanine, melatonin, ALA, calcium... Obviously I'm missing the fat soluble vitamins... But I highly doubt that's what's killing me. Who knows though...

Edit: So now it has been 9 hours since my dose this morning. I'm still real fucked up. Blood pressure is 113/54... Pulse is 113...

Oh, I forgot to mention... I've been losing weight extremely rapidly... Probably a solid 4 pounds since I started Friday night, maybe even 5. That seems kinda extreme... Every time I've taken a stim this year, I've experienced extremely rapid weight loss... I have a feeling it's something to do with fluid retention... idk.

Who knows, maybe I have a kidney problem... I was actually having urinary issues starting just prior to Friday... Feeling like I needed to pee badly, but only a little comes out, and I still feel like I have to go... It seems like when I'm on meth, I don't have that problem... Maybe because I'm sweating so much, idk...

 

[d1nach]

1. Digestion stops when you activate your sympathetic nervous system by amphet. (Basically your fight system focus on now not digestion for tommorow)
2. Your vision prob blurry due to pupil dialation which causes double vision it looks funny because it may be widening your vision because all that adrenaline makes your body make sure if a tiger comes at you from the side you see it coming because it used to be before amph if it felt this pumped you where in a emergency
3. Trouble breathing is probably the similar breathlessness of a panic attack it widens your air way makes you breathe more. I use things to chew so i dont breathe from my mouth.
4. If i took100 mg of adderall which is pretty dangerous id expect a 120 heart rate. Are you in good cardiovascular health do you exercise ect?
5. Your not eating enough i put on videos and pictures of pretty women and shove foood down it makes it easier because im distracted. If your not eating you will feel sick even sober.

 

[snowy1012]

Digestion stops when you activate your sympathetic nervous system by amphet. (Basically your fight system focus on now not digestion for tommorow)

Ok, so maybe that explains why I've been getting diarrhea... I don't know if it explains why my abdomen is kinda bloated and soft... IDK

Your vision prob blurry due to pupil dialation which causes double vision it looks funny because it may be widening your vision because all that adrenaline makes your body make sure if a tiger comes at you from the side you see it coming because it used to be before amph if it felt this pumped you where in a emergency

Yeah that makes sense.

Trouble breathing is probably the similar breathlessness of a panic attack it widens your air way makes you breathe more. I use things to chew so i dont breathe from my mouth.

Well, I always breathe from my nose... So at least I got that right lol... But I guess I should have been more specific about the breathing problems... It takes quite a bit of effort for me to breathe, and my breaths are very shallow. I can't really breathe deeply. That's a big sign of heart failure...

If i took100 mg of adderall which is pretty dangerous id expect a 120 heart rate. Are you in good cardiovascular health do you exercise ect?

Yeah it's normal to have a high heart rate from that much Adderall... But the overall way I felt was just screwed up... Disoriented... Heart beating out of my chest... Really hot. I mean, to a certain extent that's normal, but I don't blame myself for thinking that something was seriously wrong...

Honestly, I'm probably not in good cardiovascular health... I've always had low blood pressure though, and that hasn't changed unless I'm really fucked up on a stimulant. My pulse also seems to get elevated very easily... I experienced prolonged tachycardia for a while after stopping stimulant use...

No, I don't exercise lol... The last time I exercised was when I lifted weights on amp sulfate last summer... For like 4 hours a day for a month lol... That probably damaged my heart...

Your not eating enough i put on videos and pictures of pretty women and shove foood down it makes it easier because im distracted. If your not eating you will feel sick even sober.

Yeah I guess so. I've had at most 450 calories today so I guess that's too low... But I swear, when I eat I feel more screwed up lol... Weird. But yeah I'll probably have some mac and cheese if I don't die lol. Mac and cheese is pretty easy to eat even if I'm stimmed out

Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

 

[snowy1012]

I really wish I had some benzos... That would really calm me down... But I don't think it would fix whatever the problem is. I'd be calm but I'd probably still be dying, I just wouldn't be as aware and wouldn't care so much... IDK...

I actually ordered some diclazepam (research chem a little similar to valium) which should arrive tomorrow or Wednesday... Might come in handy... In the off chance that I survive lol.

 

[snowy1012]

Ok, my blood pressure is 99/52 and my pulse is 57... Massive fluctuations... Really worrisome... I also seem to be getting a dull pain... It's hard to pinpoint exactly where it is, but it seems like it's in my left testicle... WTF

It has been 10 and a half hours since my last dose... And 34 hours since yesterday's dose...

When I take a dose of meth, I feel good for 2 hours and then shit hits the fan.

 

[agarttha]

why on earth do you keep taking stimulants if you have a bad reaction literally every time you do?

i think you're probably just having some kind of panic response. run a warm bath and chill out with a book or (if you can set it up safely), a movie. I like to set my laptop on the toilet while I lie in the bath and play something (generally during opiate withdrawal, but i'm sure it'd help you out too). drink some water and have a light meal. try to sleep if you can, and if you can't go for a long walk to a pharmacy and listen to music. get an otc sleep drug, i recommend doxylamine. i doubt it'll do anything physically, but the placebo might help.

and stop taking stimulants! good luck dude, hope you get through this. and if you start REALLY feeling like you're going to die, please, dial 911.

 

[d1nach]

Doxylamine might make rapid heart worse.

How are you checking your heart rate on a machine?

Are you sure your not just overdosing. Feeling like your dying basically is what a bunch of stims feels like its your bodys alarm systems signaling stop we have a emergency something really important is happening.

 

[CFC]

OP self-evidently you need a break. It's quite typical to become paranoid and obsessive about health issues when using stimulants like meth, and to imagine all kinds of signs and symptoms. That doesn't mean you're actually suffering from anything that you imagine though. Only a doctor with appropriate equipment is going to be able to deduce any of that. Regardless, since you're so worried - stop using.

As for your BP and pulse, both would be likely to improve if you ate properly. Meth affects blood sugar and insulin levels, both of which can ultimately lead to (and suppress the symptoms of) mild to moderate hypoglycaemia. However when you eat, you're also likely to find the effects of the meth intensify since you're suddenly inputting a whole fresh load of energy.

Regardless, the best thing you can do now is stop using, eat a wholesome balanced meal, and get a good long sleep.

 

[snowy1012]

why on earth do you keep taking stimulants if you have a bad reaction literally every time you do?

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me lol? Part of it is because I want to lose weight... Even though I'm not fat lol...

Part of it is because I like being able to focus on tasks and be motivated. When I'm not on stimulants, I have very little drive, ambition, focus, motivation, etc. etc.... Granted, I've improved quite a bit since I got prescribed Wellbutrin, but it didn't quite get me to where I want to be.

And, frankly, I've had some good times on stimulants, especially Adderall. I've had far too many bad experiences, but I always end up thinking that I was doing something wrong, and if I find out how to do stims 'the right way', I'll be fine. Once some time passes after a bad experience, I start thinking that maybe I can do it right this time... Right now, I don't think there is a right way... Even if I did everything in my power to ensure a positive experience, I'd probably still be fucked up, unless I took a very underwhelming dose. And honestly, I'll never do anything I'm supposed to do to have a good stim experience... I'll never eat enough, I'll never sleep enough... Sometimes I drink plenty of water but every time, I think it's screwing me up more... So yeah, part of me knows what's up pretty much... But there's that part of me who comes out as soon as I'm not dying, who thinks "I'll do it right the next time". That's the problem. My judgement is pretty shitty, I make poor decisions, unfortunately... It's funny because I'm quite knowledgeable about drugs and the effects on the human body... I read stuff and soak up the information... But I guess I'm just booksmart lol... Because know matter how knowledgeable I might be, I do stupid shit. Starting using substances in the first place is a great example... Starting the beginning of last year.. My genius plan was to take benzos (etizolam) for my social anxiety and stims for my attention issues... I thought I was gonna be invincible lol... Obviously I knew how drugs can screw people up, but I thought that wouldn't apply to me lol... I was just gonna use em as a tool... Welp, that didn't work out so well. I gotta learn everything the hard way apparently... Stimulants made me go psychotic and I had to withdraw from all my classes last Fall semester... Honestly, the Adderall that I was prescribed was what really made shit hit the fan. I loved the Addy high... It really fucked up my head... Extremely delusional and paranoid... I thought everyone was talking about me or observing me... I heard everyone whispering about me lol, even with my earphones in blasting music lol... My priorities got completely fucked up... I kinda thought I was a celebrity at the university lol... So I was constantly obsessed about my appearance, staring at myself for hours, not getting work done, hiding when I didn't like the way I looked... (stimulants literally gave me body dysmorphic disorder lol). I took Addy, got high, listened to the voices... I thought actual people were talking to me or giving me body language so I'd be communicating with them through body language... Acting weird as fuck, I'm sure they wondered wtf was wrong with me lol. And, because of all that, I wasn't getting work done... I wasn't studying... Hell, I'd pull all nighters to get my work done because it didn't get done during the day, and I spent most nights watching porn lol... Like most stimulant users lol. Everything fucking crashed around me and I allowed it... I knew shit was getting bad academically, but I was afraid/unwilling to confront reality. I always thought I'd get my shit together and start getting 100s on everything lol. That never happened. I was always a great student so failing was not supposed to be in the cards... I knew what I was capable of... I always thought I could pull myself up from the abyss... But, I got way past the point of no return... The Sunday after Thanksgiving, one of my delusions of grandeur collapsed in on itself... A girl who I was kinda obsessed with blocked my texts lol... I mean no wonder, I was sending tons of ridiculous texts lol... So yeah, then I had nobody in my life other than family. That used to work fine for me, but for some reason, all the stimulants made me want friends/relationships lol. Especially when I wasn't high lol. So I had a complete breakdown, wasn't getting out of bed, stopped going to classes... No self esteem at all... Didn't want to be seen... And the next week I withdrew from all my classes. I never even checked my grades lol... I didn't want to know the truth. I just assumed I was failing most of em. Probably true... Here's the kicker... Now I think I can use stimulants correctly and not run into those issues now that I'm back taking classes... It's funny how I have shitty self esteem but sometimes I think I'm capable of things I'm probably not... I think I get it kinda... I really want to accomplish things, I really want to kinda impress people... Academics are like the only thing I had to feel good about lol... So I picked mechanical engineering as a major, and decided to take stims and ace all my classes lol... I believed that it would work... Mediocrity wasn't an option... I had always been the star student in the family... But engineering is fucking hard... I wanted to outdo myself, got an awesome job, so I could feel better about myself... The real problem with my plan was that stimulants also make you feel better about yourself lol... If I'm high on stims, why do I need to accomplish anything? Take an addy and your self esteem is automatically boosted lol. Then it wears off and I feel like I'm not worth shit... So I take more Addy lol... I barely ever got work done or studied on Adderall...

Damn meth makes it so I can't stop writing lol...

i think you're probably just having some kind of panic response. run a warm bath and chill out with a book or (if you can set it up safely), a movie. I like to set my laptop on the toilet while I lie in the bath and play something (generally during opiate withdrawal, but i'm sure it'd help you out too). drink some water and have a light meal. try to sleep if you can, and if you can't go for a long walk to a pharmacy and listen to music. get an otc sleep drug, i recommend doxylamine. i doubt it'll do anything physically, but the placebo might help.

Well anxiety is definitely making things a lot worse for sure... And yeah I've had many panic attacks on stimulants because I thought my life was in danger lol... Most of the time I had taken a reasonable dose, but not always. Honestly, right now I really think I have a heart issue that makes me very vulnerable to stimulants... It's all very real to me. It makes too much sense to me... I never used to get the breathing trouble, chest tightness... So I must have done something to my body to cause this shit... Oh well... Haha, funny that you mention a warm bath... I'd love to take a warm bath buttttt I'm convinced that it could kill me lol. I'm afraid that the warm water would make my heart give out. Sure, I guess I might be fine... But, if I try taking a bath, I'm gonna be in a panic the whole time... And I really need a bath, I smell disgusting, all the fucking sweating over the past few days... I wanna take a bath in a few hours assuming I feel better but idk, probably a long shot... Damn though, I can't believe I never thought to watch something on my laptop while I'm in the bath... That's a great idea. Reading too. I did drink some water and had a light meal... Maybe not enough water... Idk. I sure hope I'm able to sleep tonight... Can't take this anymore lol... I actually have a prescription for Trazodone, but it hasn't been overpowering the meth unfortunately... It makes me a little relaxed for maybe an hour and then I'm screwed lol. Benzos are the only thing that would have put me to sleep. But hopefully tonight's a different story... I think the nearest pharmacy would be like a 7 mile walk lol.

and stop taking stimulants! good luck dude, hope you get through this. and if you start REALLY feeling like you're going to die, please, dial 911.

I really should stop taking stimulants lol... Well, except for caffeine... But honestly, I feel like, if I was gonna stop, I would have done it already... Problem is, I always think I can do it differently the next time... Hell, the only thing that's been keeping me off stimulants is that, every time I have a bad reaction, I've thrown the stims away. I haven't thrown this meth away, at this point... Probably because I don't have much money anymore and I don't want any more being wasted... Also because I want to try taking it with diclazepam. I wonder how that will work out. Best case scenario, I'll end up with 2 addictions... Worst case, well, I think we know...

I still feel screwed up even though I ate... And it's almost 13 hours since I took anything... But the fear has subsided a lot. I'm not panicking right now. Butttttt that can change real quick. If I really think I'm gonna die, hell yeah I'll call 911. Hell, I actually like being in the hospital for the most part lol. I have state insurance for free thankfully, so I don't have to worry about the bill... But if I make money in a few years, apparently they'll make me pay it back lol. I wonder if the state would take away your insurance if they find out that you've been hospitalized due to drug use several times... I heard something like that I think. But anyway... I've called 911 before and I'll do it again if I have to... I'd be kinda ashamed and embarrassed but it is what it is. I called 911 from the library at UCONN, now that's embarrassing... What really got me scared was the fact that I had taken 4-fa prior to the Addy. I thought I was having a bad reaction from taking them too close together. I was worried about serotonin syndrome... Ambulance picked me up in front of everyone... I even got academic probation for abusing my prescription, fucking bullshit... I got punished for seeking medical attention. Meanwhile, everyone else takes more Adderall than I do, and they're fine... But I actually make a good decision, and I'm punished. And if any other student has a drug related emergency, they're afraid to call 911 because of the punishment... Worse than what I got if it's not prescribed... Suspension at least, idk about expulsion... I'm sure plenty of students die from drugs over the years but the university keeps that shit quiet so it won't look like they have a drug problem...

Hell, I called 911 another time that semester... Long story short, I was on Adderall and I had a panic attack and thought I was having a stroke. They said I didn't have a stroke, but I was pretty convinced that I did, so they put me in the psych area and had someone talk to me haha... They let me out, bad idea lol. Thankfully I didn't get in trouble for that 911 call...

When I took meth at the end of January... I was really bad off but I thought I had things under control as long as I kept cool... Then I got dragged back inside, got fucked up again... Well, I think I'd have to be on the floor blue in the face for my grandparents (who I live with) to call 911 for me... Butttt the day after, I was in comedown, pissed off at life, and I took a full bottle of gabapentin... And I got scared and called 911 when I saw how bloodshot my eyes were and I started panicking... I was fine but I ended up in the psych hospital for 11 days.

When I had the 4-fa incident... I thought I was a goner unless I dialed 911... I had no choice... I took a ton of 4-fa, on top of lexapro. As soon as I took the last dose, I realized how badly I screwed up, and was in a panic for 2 and a half hours until I was struggling to breathe and weak and my heart was beating irregularly... I called early in the morning so nobody was awake to tell me not to call 911...

And when I had the 2-fma incident... I was in a hotel in Vermont... It got pretty bad but it didn't last too long... And that was one time when I managed to control myself and not tell my grandparents lol.

And then the meth that I'm 99% sure wasn't meth... That was worse than the 4-fa... I really thought that might be the end of my life, but hey, it's all in my head and I'm just fine......... And calling 911 is something you only do when it's too late. Yeah no... That was some bad shit. Probably twice as bad as yesterday or today.

And then a long time later, the research chem 3-fa... Which seemed pretty serious... Once again, I would have gotten a lot of shit for calling 911, that's for sure...

And then the Vyvanse... The thing about that is, it's Vyvanse, not some research chemical or street drug. So, the hospital couldn't give me the old "you have no way of knowing what you actually took" routine. But I can't keep shit to myself lol, so once again, I'm discouraged from calling 911.

Just about every time I take a stim and end up thinking I might die, I tell my grandparents lol... And my grandma especially always says I'm fine, and they don't want an ambulance because apparently the whole town will know what happened... Haha. I only called 911 two times from my house. The first time was the gabapentin overdose.. I mean, general rule of thumb, if you take an entire bottle of pills, and you don't want to die, get medical attention quick... I didn't want to die, I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up 3 days later. But then I realized that it probably wouldn't work out so nicely for me... And I was sleep deprived, very impulsive, so I really didn't give a fuck. And also, in my mind, going to the hospital from a prescription overdose is a lot less stressful than going to the hospital after taking a street drug or a research chem... Hell, I know from experience, if you go to the hospital after taking a research chem, they make you feel pretty damn stupid. And they never heard of what you took, so they gotta look it up on the internet... And call poison control... Well everyone's pretty nice to me, but the doctor was on his high horse... As far as street drugs, they get that all the time. It's routine... I mean, I've never called 911 after taking a street drug. The only 'normal' stims I've taken are amp sulfate and meth. Everything else was research chems. Ok, who am I kidding, normal drugs or research chemicals, you probably don't get treated that differently... And hell, meth is the most stigmatized drug of all... You know you're gonna be judged.

Anyway, holy shit my brain is making me write everything that pops into my head. Writing is pretty therapeutic though, so I'm not gonna try to stop myself... Rambling on and on is fun. So, the second time I called 911 from my house, I was smart. I kept it to myself, called 911, went to the door and waited for the ambulance to show up. My grandpa found out before the ambulance arrived, but a cop was already there so he was chill... I lost my brand new phone in the hospital tho, lol. Not cool.

But yeah, who am I kidding, I don't wanna call 911 unless it gets pretty dire. It's not all my grandparents' fault. I mean, I haven't died yet so I shouldn't be complaining anyway. I've been in the hospital a lot, it was getting ridiculous, and very stressful for my grandparents. At the end of the day... Even if I think I'm dying, and even if I don't believe that I'm fine and that there's nothing to worry about, it is kinda nice to be told that you're fine. The two times I called 911, I wasn't told that... If I have nobody to tell me I'm fine, I'll probably be in the hospital twice a month lol... I never tell myself I'm fine... I feel like, if I don't take shit seriously, it's tempting fate. Every sensation in my body, I take it as a sign of impending death. It's good to be aware of how your body reacts to drugs, but I guess I go kinda overboard... Or maybe not... I don't even know anymore...

Ok, I'm done rambling. When I'm all stimmed out, I just get totally zoned in on writing, and it's really hard to stop. Like I said before, it's therapeutic for me. Distracts me.

Quick update: It's just over 14 hours since my last dose... I'm still not in a panic right now, but I've been getting real weird feelings in my chest. Unnerving to say the least.

 

[snowy1012]

I have a blood pressure cuff. It takes BP and pulse.

Did I actually take an excessive amount for someone without a tolerance? I thought it was a perfectly reasonable dose for oral administration, but what the hell do I know.

 

[snowy1012]

Yeah I do need a break. Over 3 days on meth without any sleep for 3 nights... Lack of sleep, not enough food, that's the killer. It hasn't been a long time, but my body has been absolutely ravaged since Friday night. I did eat some mac and cheese a couple hours ago... I guess it might have made me feel a little better, but no miracle... Not that I expected one. Would eating something sugary help more than something low in sugar? I definitely notice the intensification of stimulation when I eat. I guess that's not something to be afraid of.

Yup, gotta stop using, that's for sure... I think I ate adequately. When I'm on stims I like to eat bananas as a snack, but I don't have any right now unfortunately. And yeah, I sure as hell need to sleep tonight. It's the first day of classes tomorrow, I gotta be around people and if I get another night without sleep I'll probably have a nervous breakdown lol.

What really, really sucks, is that when this happens, I can't do anything. I end up paralyzed by fear the whole day. Everything I had planned, some very important shit tbh, hasn't been done. I've been sitting in the same position in a chair most of the day, just staring at nothing, afraid to do anything that requires movement... One of the main reasons for my stimulant use is to get shit done! Unfortunately, much of the time, not much gets done! Either I'm high and want to make the most of it by listening to music, or I think I'm dying and am unable focus on anything than how/what I'm feeling at any given moment.

It's kinda funny... Any little thing that happens, I take it as evidence that I'm dying. If my vitals seem normal, I tell myself one of two things... #1. I could still be dying even with normal vitals, that doesn't mean much
or #2. Your vitals aren't supposed to be normal when you're on meth, everything should be elevated. Normal vitals are a sign that something is wrong

Low BP and high pulse = death. High BP and high pulse = death. Low BP and low pulse = death. High BP and low pulse... Well I'm not sure that has ever happened to me on stims...

Any significant fluctuations in BP and/or pulse = death

Basically, any significant physical symptoms will make me worry about my life being in danger... Obviously there are so many significant physical symptoms of meth use that are normal, especially without sleep, very little food, etc. But I get convinced that what I'm experiencing is beyond normal, even when taking into account the fact that I'm not taking care of myself and should feel shitty... And taking my vitals will never make me less worried. I mean, if my BP or pulse are way too low or way too high, I have a right to be worried... And that's why it's good to take your vitals... They're good at telling you when something is wrong. What worried me the most was when BP was low or even normal but pulse was high. That makes me think heart failure... So basically it confirms what I'm already thinking. If everything's low, that also freaks me out lol. Honestly though, I guess I have the right idea - just because your vitals seem acceptable doesn't put you in the clear by any means. Sad but true. And wildly fluctuating vitals are a bad sign... So if I'm experiencing physical symptoms of a potential heart issue, and if I've actually had an incident in the past where I actually did screw up my heart, then I guess it's reasonable to worry especially considering that the symptoms are basically identical to when I had a legitimate heart problem, maybe not as severe, but still, they could easily worsen. And I guess it's reasonable to take any abnormalities in BP or pulse as numerical evidence to back up the concern that I have a heart issue.

But I'm kinda split... Because the anxiety gets ridiculous... It's probably a positive feedback mechanism... The symptoms make me anxious, and the anxiety makes me hyperfocused on the symptoms, possibly worsening the symptoms, and that worsens the anxiety, and it goes on and on like that.

No I'm not split, nevermind. Either I stop using stims altogether, or I find some way of greatly reducing the anxiety... Idk if the first one is reasonable... So it looks like it's gonna be the second one. Honestly, no matter how hard I try to be calm, it doesn't work, I'm just paralyzed with fear. So if I gotta take stims, I guess I gotta try taking a benzo with them. Obviously, if it works, then I'll have a dual addiction. But, personally, I don't think it's all anxiety... So maybe I'd still feel the symptoms of a potentially major issue, but I wouldn't care so much, and I might even be more reckless, because benzos have that effect. So for all I know, benzos might actually increase my chances of death from stimulant use. I mean, it depends on the dose of benzos I guess... But if I'm feeling pretty good, I might take more stims even if I'm feeling like something might be wrong. And then things could go very, very wrong... I also know that benzos actually treat stimulant overdose... Well screw it, if I survive till tomorrow I'll have to give it a shot.

Damn I gotta lay off the keyboard lol, this is a bit much.

 

[Erikmen]

why on earth do you keep taking stimulants if you have a bad reaction literally every time you do?

i think you're probably just having some kind of panic response. run a warm bath and chill out with a book or (if you can set it up safely), a movie. I like to set my laptop on the toilet while I lie in the bath and play something (generally during opiate withdrawal, but i'm sure it'd help you out too). drink some water and have a light meal. try to sleep if you can, and if you can't go for a long walk to a pharmacy and listen to music. get an otc sleep drug, i recommend doxylamine. i doubt it'll do anything physically, but the placebo might help.

and stop taking stimulants! good luck dude, hope you get through this. and if you start REALLY feeling like you're going to die, please, dial 911.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[Ergan]

You seem to just be worn out from stimulant abuse over the period of a few months to a year of stimulant abuse can really take its toll, as an ex every day gram user of amphetamine sulfate i can relate to your symptoms but i can say most of them are probably created by paranoia as you dont really take an extraordinary amount of drugs. Dont forget nutrients are the only way your body and mind will recover, before you write anything get some vegetables, simple sugars as well as keep hydrated, weed can make eating easier and soft wet foods are good as meth tends to cause a very sore throat if u dont eat for a long period of time. You cant expect your body to repair if it has no fuel, you only get out what you put in

Paranoia can manifest itself quite easily with stimulant abuse, especially with multiple day use which causes sleep deprivation also potentiates that. I find that if you are going to take a drug remember stimulants have a peak and a redose will never get you to a higher high, it will just increase the amount of time you are coming down and experiencing lacking effects. Learn your mind and body, the high of a drug is very short lived you can only take it so far before it starts to take everything, the worst thing is that you wont see your life slipping away as the amphetamine delusion masks it.

You are young its very easy to bounce back, i was 6'2 and 51kg m a gram or more a day addict of md,speed anything i could get. i had red horrible skin, 14 day eyes and my nose had grown to twice the size. As well as getting pneumonia and nearly dying. now I'm 75kg full faced and fit with good skin and health, as well as im mentally stable, could say high off life. All because i learnt that you need to eat healthy exercise and learn your mind limits, i still do occasionally use large doses of amphetamines but i follow these rules
1. There is one peak
2. Eat healthy, sugar is not a bad thing but soda and lollies are not what you want fruits
3. Get out side and exercise, people forget how important it is, how do you expect your body to grow stronger?
4. Medication doesnt solve everything, remember a pill isnt a quick fix its more of a supplement to help your body
5. Find hobbies, most people dont realise that all they do is do drugs i used cycling as a way to choose my bodies health over a high, because i had a real desire to stop.

Learn your body and mind, it is your only vessel through life it also maybe the only chance you get so why not make a change for yourself and truly enjoy it. Lifes the greatest high you can experience and it peaks for about 60 years


Also it may hurt to eat but you will feel great after 20mins! you feel sick because your body has nothing to repair itself with veggies, fruits, nuts, water.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Doxylamine with stims is a horrible combo. Panic city right there.

Throw away all meth and don't get more.

 

[Wheella]

Ok, my blood pressure is 99/52 and my pulse is 57... Massive fluctuations... Really worrisome... I also seem to be getting a dull pain... It's hard to pinpoint exactly where it is, but it seems like it's in my left testicle... WTF

It has been 10 and a half hours since my last dose... And 34 hours since yesterday's dose...

When I take a dose of meth, I feel good for 2 hours and then shit hits the fan.

May I know you are experiencing chronic dizziness post overdose? See my post here https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/meth-overdose-chronic-dizziness.883511/

 

[Isnortice91]

Ok, so maybe that explains why I've been getting diarrhea... I don't know if it explains why my abdomen is kinda bloated and soft... IDK



Yeah that makes sense.



Well, I always breathe from my nose... So at least I got that right lol... But I guess I should have been more specific about the breathing problems... It takes quite a bit of effort for me to breathe, and my breaths are very shallow. I can't really breathe deeply. That's a big sign of heart failure...



Yeah it's normal to have a high heart rate from that much Adderall... But the overall way I felt was just screwed up... Disoriented... Heart beating out of my chest... Really hot. I mean, to a certain extent that's normal, but I don't blame myself for thinking that something was seriously wrong...

Honestly, I'm probably not in good cardiovascular health... I've always had low blood pressure though, and that hasn't changed unless I'm really fucked up on a stimulant. My pulse also seems to get elevated very easily... I experienced prolonged tachycardia for a while after stopping stimulant use...

No, I don't exercise lol... The last time I exercised was when I lifted weights on amp sulfate last summer... For like 4 hours a day for a month lol... That probably damaged my heart...



Yeah I guess so. I've had at most 450 calories today so I guess that's too low... But I swear, when I eat I feel more screwed up lol... Weird. But yeah I'll probably have some mac and cheese if I don't die lol. Mac and cheese is pretty easy to eat even if I'm stimmed out

Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

The breathing problem you are experiencing happened to me when I ate ,4 -100mg THC edible rice crispy treats and it felt like I was forgetting how to breath . I went to the emergency room and they told me it was just a panic attack.